The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Grevious Spelling Error of the Week
21:28 Jun 28 2005
Times Read: 819

Reccomendations which should be Recommendations.



Do you all know what this means?!?!?!?!



I GOT JASON!!!!! ROFLMAO!

The New Bachelorette Staring.... The Tooth Fairy!
17:27 Jun 25 2005
Times Read: 832

http://www.prime8interactive.com/holiday/movie.html

Texas Chili Contest
17:25 Jun 25 2005
Times Read: 833

*Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better!



For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook off about the time the Rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes

are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast.



Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The third judge called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two

judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and besides they told me I could have all the free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."



Here are the scorecards from the event:



Chili #1 (Mike's Manic Mobster Monster Chili)



Judge #1 - A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge #2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. It took me two beers to put the flames out.I hope that's the worst one, these Texans are crazy.



Chili # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chili)



Judge #1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge #2 - Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer

when they saw the look on my face.





Chili # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili)



Judge #1 - Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge #2 - A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everybody knows the routine by now. Get me some more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back,

now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.



Chili # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic)



Judge # 1 - Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 - Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 - I felt something scrape across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb lady is starting to

look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?



Chili # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover)



Judge # 1 - Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 - Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 - My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

Stuff those rednecks!



Chili # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety)



Judge # 1 - Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 - The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 - I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips any more. I need to

wipe my butt with a snow cone.





Chili # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili)



Judge # 1 - A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 - Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili

peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge #3 - (Frank). You could place a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili,

which slid out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like stuff which matches my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Sod it; I'm not getting

any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.



Chili # 8 (Tommy's Toe-nail Curling Chili)



Judge # 1 - The perfect ending, this is a nice blended chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's

going to make it. Poor Dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot

chili?

Anakins Switch Commercial
17:24 Jun 25 2005
Times Read: 834

http://www.pixelred.com/switch.htm

The Grocery Store Wars
17:14 Jun 25 2005
Times Read: 835

This is too funny. Unfortunately you will have to copy and paste because I have yet to figure out how to hyperlink it. I apologize for any inconvience that my computer stupidity causes you.





http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html

Sigh
01:24 Jun 23 2005
Times Read: 852

There are times where I should just keep my mouth shut. There have been many times in the past few months where that sentence applies.



I have done things that I am not proud of, in fact that I'm pretty ashamed of. My way of trying to make amends backfired. And in just talking, I said things I shouldn't have. Completely unintentionally.



To the parties involved, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know you won't believe me and that is entirely my fault. What happened, I never intended to happen. I didn't want it to end this way. And knowing that I am partly to blame makes me very angry with myself, more so than you may already be at me.



All I have left to say is I am sorry, from the bottom of my stupid heart.

Khayman's A Drug Addict!!!!!!
21:41 Jun 22 2005
Times Read: 862






DAIRY FOOD ADDICTION





GETTING LOST WITH DRUGS



Heroin users "get lost" after injecting chemically processed poppy juice into their veins. Homer reported that Ulysses "got lost" during his odyssey after being lured into a gentle sleep caused by opiates. When Dorothy laid down in a poppy field in the Wizard of Oz, she fell into a very deep sleep. She followed a yellow brick road into a sleepy world of marmalade skies, cellophane flowers and marshmallow pies.



Opiates are narcotics, and they produce intense feelings of pleasure followed by a calm drowsy feeling. Opiates are addictive. Smokers of opiated hashish gently lose their way into narcotically-induced dreamlike states (no, not Colorodo or Vermont). The most wholesome cow's milk from organically raised bovines naturally contains a powerful opiate in the morphine family called casomorphin.



Concentrated milk products (cheese, ice cream, and milk chocolate) contain concentrated quantities of these addictive narcotics. Now, you too can "get lost" by consuming America's most delicious legal opiate, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Hershey Foods is about to launch a new advertising campaign giving their best-selling bite-sized snack a new slogan: "Get Lost in a Reese's" Hersehy's will spend $10 million to promote their chocolate high to children.



Who is their target group? Hershey's explains: "Young males are among the biggest eaters of candy, and Reese's is no exception." One ad portrays a growling dog that bites a young man in the leg. The boy feels no pain because he is munching on a Reese's. A second ad shows a kid whose pants get caught in an escalator, oblivious to the fact that he is about to be stripped to his underwear.



What causes the drug-induced chocolate "high?" Could it be morphine, an opiate? Do chocolate manufacturers know that their product contains drugs? Let's examine milk chocolate. The three major ingredients of milk chocolate are, in order of abundance, sugar, milk, and chocolate. Florida researcher, Robert Cade, M.D., has identified a milk protein, casomorphin, as the probable cause of attention deficit disorder.



Dr. Cade found Beta-casomorphin-7 in high concentrations in the blood and urine of patients with either schizophrenia or autism. Eighty percent of cow's milk protein is casein. After eating milk chocolate, casein breaks down in the stomach to produce a peptide opiate, casomorphine. Visit http://www.severaid.org and find the dairy connection: "Exorphins appear to produce...lack of awareness of events, anti-social behavior, and decreased verbal skills.



Many of these behaviors are similar to those noted on chronic heroin addiction. Studies by Karl Riechelt indicate a very strong association between certain autistic behaviors and ingestion of dairy..." Government statistics suggest that America is home to 64 million nicotine addicts (cigarette smokers), 18 million alcoholics, 12 million marijuana smokers, and 2.3 million opiate and cocaine users.



Opiates in chocolate have not yet made their top ten drug list, but make no mistake about it, folks. Drugs work, and milk is physiologically addictive. Nature's way is to include chemical messengers that make nursing pleasurable. That same mechanism is what also makes weaning so difficult.



Most American adults have never been weaned from the addictive effects of milk. Get lost with milk chocolate? Hersehy's relies upon addicted children to generate increased candy sales. So, "Get lost" with milk chocolate and satisfy a physiological addiction to casomorphin. Are you a chocolate junkie? Get Lost with Reeses!



Robert Cohen

http://www.notmilk.com

Interesting.........
23:00 Jun 20 2005
Times Read: 869

In one of the quizzes below, it said that I was 20% Leo. Well, I'm 73% Pisces. How the hell did that happen? LOL

You are 73% Pisces

Yet another quiz I have taken from somebody else =)
05:15 Jun 19 2005
Times Read: 880



Your soul is caring.
Other people are your concern, even if you
don't know them. If you see a person trip you
worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones
first and you're very mature. When someones
sick you're nurturing and always try to help
family and friends when failure strikes them.
You can be called the motherly one, if you are
in a group of people, which doesn't have to be
bad. Love is something that's already in you
and you have a lot to give whether you believe
it or not. Your friends probably love you very
much and come to when they need help since
you're reliable. People can feel secure with
you and generally like you.



How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

To be a bitch or not to be a bitch!
16:32 Jun 17 2005
Times Read: 887

See Jason? This quiz proves otherwise! :-P ROFLMAO!



Though I do have to say this, I really wish I was a little more bitch. It would make my life easiers. heh

Rules for Kids......
20:47 Jun 16 2005
Times Read: 895

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things students will not learn in school. He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Parents, if your kid hasn't heard these rules...pass them on.



Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!



Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.



Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.



Rule 4: If you think your teacher or parents are tough, wait till you get a boss.



Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.



Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.



Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't boring. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.



Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.



Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.



Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.



Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.



If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

If you are reading it in English - Thank a soldier

2 Statues.........
18:54 Jun 14 2005
Times Read: 905




There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.



The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for

thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."



He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling

ensues.



After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, "Would you care to do it again?"



He asks her. "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.



This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and you

shit on its head."



AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?! LOL

hmmmm
07:39 Jun 12 2005
Times Read: 919

I've really let loose today on the forums. I'm suprised at the amount of flirting I did. I don't usually do that sort of thing. LOL It was fun though. Everybody was great and I had a blast. I send out my thanks to those who chatted the day and evening away with me!

Who woulda thunk it?
01:34 Jun 12 2005
Times Read: 922

I didn't realize how conservative I am. I thought I was more liberal / middle of the road. I'm 50 / 50 in a coupls of areas. But in others I"m ultra conservative. Interestng.

Your Political Profile

Overall: 65% Conservative, 35% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Guess it's quiz day.....
01:24 Jun 12 2005
Times Read: 924

I'm really glad it came out Italian since I love everything about Italy. I would love to live there again.

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is.

I knew it!!
01:05 Jun 12 2005
Times Read: 925

Technically I;m a Leo though I've never really felt that I was 100% like the sign.



This proves it!

You are 20% Leo

I belong where??
00:30 Jun 12 2005
Times Read: 926

hmmmm no U.S. Navy bases in Austraila. Darn!

You Belong in Australia

Ace! Sunny, upbeat, and cute You make the perfect surf bum Now stop hogging the vegemite!

Where to live?
19:41 Jun 11 2005
Times Read: 932

Hmmm Maybe I should move! LOL I'm up for new orders in 12 months. Maybe I could get stationed in Hawaii! Woo hoo! LOLOL

>

American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% Austin

70% Denver

60% Seattle

55% Honolulu

55% Las Vegas

*Sigh*...................
19:15 Jun 11 2005
Times Read: 933

I was supposed to be at work today by 7:30am. But I couldn't sleep last night and didn't get to bed until 3:30 this morning. I got up at 1030. My work called twice. Then I called back to let them know what happened and I got the voice mail! I left my number and I have yet to receive a call back. Hopefully I won't get into too much trouble.

Kids are funny
03:56 Jun 11 2005
Times Read: 940

I was on the phone with my mom tonight. We were discussing family. I was telling her that my daughter is very lucky because she has 2 sets of grandparents and 1 set of great-grandparents.



I asked my mom, " What more could a kid ask for?"



My daughter answered for me: Ice Cream?



LOL What a nut!

What Starts with F and Ends with K???
00:11 Jun 09 2005
Times Read: 953




A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"



Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"



Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the

principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.



Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".



Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".



And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed.



Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."



Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"



The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!



Harry replied: "Pockets."



Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"



Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Harry: "Coconut."



The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.



Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: "Bubble gum"



Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."



The principal was trembling.



Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck"



The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

Too funny
00:03 Jun 09 2005
Times Read: 954

http://www.omdenbrode.nl/smile/smile.html

Oooooo I is smart! heh
14:23 Jun 08 2005
Times Read: 959

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

hmmmmm
06:22 Jun 08 2005
Times Read: 965

In her journal, Requiem asked if anyone knew that little tidbit about Edge from WWE.



For the record....hell yeah, he is definitely lookin whacked out.





I also have a "Did you ever notice":



Ever notice that Chris Jericho and Jason look alot alike as well?

This Weekend.......
17:39 Jun 06 2005
Times Read: 977

I went to visit my best friend Charity this weekend.



Her ex-husband that used to beat her and was willing to let her keep their son as long as he could have the Harley, was visiting.



Her new husband couldn't make the meeting and I didn't want her going alone. Her ex is a BASTARD!! We were both afraid he would try to kidnap Ian (Charity's son).



Ian will be 4 in September and the last time he saw the sperm doner was when he was 6 weeks old at the custody hearing.



Her ex has never cared. So why bother now? Well he has a new girlfriend and we think that she urged him to do it.



The visit went smooth actually. Friday night we saw Madagascar and he talked to his girlfriend the entire time.



Saturday we all went to Six Flags and he spent most of the time riding rides with his girlfriend. But hey, he bought some gifts. Nice, huh?



I'm glad it went well and I didn't have to open up an industrial size can of whoop ass on the fucker. But I wanted to ..... I reallllllly wanted to. =-)

Goody Two Shoes?
17:31 Jun 06 2005
Times Read: 978

Interesting.

How evil are you?

The Circus is Coming to Town!!!!
22:02 Jun 02 2005
Times Read: 996

And no, it's not my grandparents Jason. ROFL!



I haven't been to the circus in almost 20 years. Now, I get to take my kids! I can't wait! Center stage, so to speak, 6 rows back.

UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE : BITCHING ABOUND
18:33 Jun 02 2005
Times Read: 1,001

Backround: In the Giant thread that Dami started:



Unkyjuan69: who needs sleeping pills when you have damis stories. who the hell cares!! you really have no life do you. do you think anyone but your suck up friends want to read this boring crap? talk about a waste of thread space.





Moi: Wow, how rude!!!



I happen to think this is a terrific subject in which to discuss. I do not know much about vampires and the like and enjoy learning as much as I can. I for one am looking forward to seeing what else people can find on the subject.







Unkyjuan69 :him if anyone cared they would look it up themselves

all her suck ups say the same thing "oh its very interesting" what a pile of crap. no one tells her the truth cuz they r scared of her dumb ass. just cuz she thinks shes a big shot doesnt mean she is



Moi: This is unbelievable. Your comments are inappropriate for a forum. If you have problems you need to keep it to yourself or put it in your journal.

This is a good valid thread. Don't ruin it.



Unkyjuan69 : she herself bitches about stupid threads all the time and just becuz her and other losers who believe in this crap find this interesting doesnt mean we all do

and i have a right to my opinion

---------------------------------------------------------



Jesus H. Christ. Unkyjuan69 really needs to learn some manners. Ok you don't like Dami. Who fucking cares? I don't care how you feel about her and most other people don't either. The forum is NOT a place to express your negative feelings about someone.



If you have nothing helpful to add to a thread. DON'T DO IT FOR FUCK'S SAKE!



--------------------------------------------------------



A great big thanks to the admin who deleted most of that from the forum. That was awesome of you!

Tribute....
15:36 Jun 02 2005
Times Read: 1,004

I was going through my old e-mails at work this morning trying to clear some stuff out of my inbox. There were ALOT of old e-mails. lol Anyway, as I'm going through I find one with this website:



http://www.fdnylodd.com/BloodofHeroes.html



It is a tribute to those who died in 9/11. Yeah, it's June. I really don't care. It is about 5 minutes long and worth every second. It really makes you stop for a moment and think. Appreciate what you have because it could be gone in an instant.