The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires.



I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for >squirting out babies.



Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.



I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!



I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion. I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything

except numbers.



The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America

>and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.



I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off. When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the law of statistics.



I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I received sex from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal business. It would be "FIRED" immediately!



I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen you should have to speak English!



My father and grandfather should not have died in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.



I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the order "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.



I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount votes when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.



>I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other

business.



We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document and open to their interpretations.



I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television, and that doesn't stop you from watching them. I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is more

dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.



I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off , go and invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you..



It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid and smack his/her little ass when necessary and say "NO."



I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And please stay home until that new lip ring heals, I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me

french fries!



I am sick of "Political Correctness" and of all the suck ups that go along with it. I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa, so how can they be "African Americans"? Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and no where else.



And if you don't like my point of view, tough!

GET OVER IT!!! WAKE UP WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A COUNTRY TO WAKE UP TO.

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan .. what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.



Robin William's plan.(Hard to argue with this logic!)



I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.



1.) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.



2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the fence.



3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.



4.) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.



5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.



6.) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.



7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)



8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.



9.) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.



10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan.



"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses'.She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling,

'You want a piece of me?'"

Take the quiz: "Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You? "

Ta me air meisce
Ta me air meisce - 'I am drunk.'You enjoy a drink - or five - now and then. You can usually be found in a pub - it doesn't matter which one, because they all look the same after a few drinks - or hugging the porcelain.

TABLE BORDER=0>

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.



"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"



"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite."



"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"



"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."



Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"



"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"



The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.



"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.



"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers'

license It is like a report card, it has everything on it."



Later that night the little girl says to her mother,

"I know how old you are, you are 32."



The mother is surprised and asks,

"How did you find that out?



"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."



The mother is past surprised and shocked now.

"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"



"And," the little girl says triumphantly,

"I know why you and daddy got a divorce."



"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"



"Because you got an F in sex."

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?





My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.



This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is

now to begin the reckoning.



Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is

short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.



The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.



Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those

nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.



The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.



Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.



In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face

of the earth.



Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.



I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.



I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid

parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You

creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York



A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to

try not pissing us off for a change.



Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple

extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around.



Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your

oil.



Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.



It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.



Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."



Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on

the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup

Soccer from America.



To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.



To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.



God bless America. Thank you and good night.



If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

consisted ofleft over macaroni and cheese from Outback last night. It was so damn good that I didn't even heat it up. hehehe Too bad I made Alex eat so much of it last nght. ROFL

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a beer."





"Don't get up," said the American, "I'm in the aisle seat. I'll get it for you." As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too." Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Arab picked up his other shoe and spat in it. When the American returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.



As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.



"Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes...the pissing in beers?"

THE ONE FLAW IN WOMEN





By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"



And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on

diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a

broken heart-and she will do everything with only two hands."



The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model?



That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."



But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.



She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."



The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."



"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."



"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.



The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."



The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."



"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a

tear!"



"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.



The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."



The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."



And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.



They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they

are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take 'no' for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have.



They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear

about a birth or a wedding.



Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.



Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you this to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.



They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals.



They give moral support to their family and friends.



Women have vital things to say and everything to give.





HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT



THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Not more than 30 seconds after my last journal entry: Mommy! You wanna play operation?



Do I know my son or what? LOL

It is 9:35 am. I have been up for just under 2 hours. In that time, I have eaten breakfast, played a game of checkers, a game of yahtzee, started a game of sorry but Alex didnt wan't to finish it, and about 6 games of connect 4. He wants to play Memory but I'm still not 100% awake. Next, I suppose, will be Operation. He told me that he had found the "Charlie" Horse recently. LOL



Ok......time to go back to the games! Later.

The below story from yahoo news disgusts me. How could someone think that treating their children in this manner is ok?





A mother driving from Alabama to Loudoun County forced two of her daughters, ages 8 and 10, to take turns riding in the trunk because the four-door sedan was cramped with three other passengers and a dog, authorities said yesterday.



Cheryl Ann Schoonmaker, 38, has been charged with abuse and cruelty to children for allegedly rotating the two girls in and out of the trunk of the Nissan Sentra during the July 1 trip, which took more than eight hours.



Schoonmaker was driving from Alabama, where she has relatives, to the Loudoun home of her ex-husband, the girls' father, said Kraig Troxell, spokesman for the Loudoun sheriff's office. Also riding in the car were the former couple's 12-year-old daughter, a 12-year-old family friend and an infant in a car seat.



"It's amazing to me what some people will consider doing to their children," Loudoun Commonwealth's Attorney James E. Plowman said yesterday. "I don't understand -- they're children, not pets. Not that you would put your pet in the trunk. They're not cargo, I should say."



The incident was at least the third time in less than two months that local women have faced criminal charges after allegedly putting their children in car trunks. In June, a Frederick woman was charged with reckless endangerment after a police officer watched her help her 9-year-old son, her 3-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old friend into the trunk in a shopping mall parking lot. When the police officer pulled her over, the woman said the children had wanted to ride there.



Earlier this month, Tamatha Parker, 33, of Quantico was charged with child abuse after Fredericksburg authorities accused her of locking her two 5-year-old children in the car trunk as punishment for misbehaving in a store.



In the most recent case, Curtis Schoonmaker, the father of the three girls, said he was shocked when his daughters came to him the day after the July 1 trip and blurted out the conditions of their ride. He said that the children appeared unharmed but that the trip to Aldie "made them uncomfortable enough that they came to me and told me."



Schoonmaker said that he has custody of the three girls and that they had been visiting their mother for a five-day vacation. This was the first time they had ever told him about being put in the car trunk. However, he said that at other times, they told him about riding in overcrowded cars with their mother.



He said the girls told him that the 12-year-old family friend was allowed to ride in the car, as was the dog, a Boston terrier. "I don't think my feelings need an explanatory comment about that," he said.





He said that according to the daughters, the mother could have rented a larger car but chose the Nissan Sentra because it was cheaper. "She thought there was no problem with this," he said.





Cheryl Ann Schoonmaker apparently made some effort to ensure that the child riding in the trunk had air and light, Troxell said. He said the car had a back seat designed to fold down, allowing space for large packages in the trunk to extend into the passenger compartment. According to Troxell, Schoonmaker drove with the seat folded over so that there was an opening from the back seat into the trunk. Another child rode seated on the back of the collapsed seat.





Schoonmaker was arrested Friday and was charged with two felonies. Each charge is punishable by up to five years in prison. It could not be determined whether the other occupants of the car were wearing seat belts.





Plowman said the charges were appropriate, even though the children came through the incident unscathed.





"You're causing this child to be in danger. They're unrestrained in a hot, enclosed, dark environment with probably poor oxygen. If that car is in an accident, it would be extremely dangerous," he said.





Schoonmaker, who was released by a Stafford magistrate on $5,000 bond, could not be reached at her home. She will be arraigned in Loudoun Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court on Friday.

Just copy and paste.



http://www.roninofbrell.net/sigs/MasterCard.asf

Alex and his dad went to see Fantastic Four yesterday. When I spoke with him on the phone, Alex asked me, "Mommy, do you know what my favorite part of the movie was?"



I said, "What was it?"



My FOUR year old's reply was and I quote:



WHEN THE INVISIBLE WOMAN TOOK HER CLOTHES OFF!



HOLY SHIT!!! I almost died right there.