The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Day One 2004-01-04 21:17:29
22:47 Jul 21 2006
Times Read: 580

A Vampire Journal how quaint. But I really must admit I love the idea. To actually have a place to write my thoughts about this seemingly dreamy

nightmare I have put myself into. How do you share a dream if no one else will share it with you? Seems my cry is going unnoticed yet again. Always forcing my way in....If I force my way in should I be there at all. And, how much more will I screw up my children in the process?? Well

enough pity parties. Night time was always the easiest time for me. When I actually feel alive.

So this is day one...

Good night Fair Princess....

No more counting 2004-01-26 18:03:25
22:45 Jul 21 2006
Times Read: 581

And it is that I am still waiting to feed. Though less anxious than I was before. The feeding.....or should I say the wanting is still quite strong. I will be patient. Sometimes I wonder what a thimble full of knowledge would be. I am here asking all these questions of how, what, and why. But, I feel I am not returning

anything to the populace. It makes me feel sad.



Two hearts to none

Shall rise in the sun

The morrow gone awry

For heavens quake

And hell shall shake

As your heart lies with mine

Oh.. and I love to write...things just come to mind. ~points to whats written

above~

Thank YOU VA for the outlet and the haven, the comfort of others like me.

Today 2004-02-21 16:57:58
22:44 Jul 21 2006
Times Read: 582

I am thinking about my family, and trying to find where I fit in. I stop and think it is selfish....I have children. I am a mother that is who I am

supposed to be. But, who is that? If I carry this baggage then my children leave they will have it too. I want to be happy with me, so they will be happy with themselves. No help needed just to vent, and smile. Just to ask for help, every once in while. Wondering sometimes if I am doing what's right. Wondering when I can succumb to the night, wondering when I can wrap myself in the warm expanse of darkness within. Something free of this man made sin.

Missing part of me 2004-03-14 12:49:58
22:43 Jul 21 2006
Times Read: 583

The monotony of the days drag on and then...something goes wrong to break

that silence in our soul to break the world in our hold. We were bored to tears and now tears are all we see. When death comes knocking it breaks the monotony.

With the death of my mother only weeks behind I find it hard to want to be anymore. We were that close. But in Spirit she stays with me. I am afraid that I will call to her and she will be displaced. Do you have to cast a spell for that to happen?? I miss her.

Breaking Dawn 2004-04-04 14:28:35
22:40 Jul 21 2006
Times Read: 584




You know that dimmest light on the horizon when the sky is still the midnight blue but the thinnest light is there? My life is at this precipice. The steep cliff that is the sudden and blinding light of the sun at full dawn. I do feel somewhat better now. They have drugs to help you along. I was not wanting to stop the grieving...it seemed unatural to. But, then I just couldn't stop

crying....they have drugs to help with that. Sad huh?? But, better. Trying to connect with someone isn't the hardest thing, it is staying

connected that is hard. You grow, they grow, you both change and the connection fades. What is it about humans that we can never move on, move past something in our lives. We are horders....well some of us are. If we just realize to give up what we have grow out, or away from we would be so much happier.

Light that is the Dark 2004-04-10 14:08:28
22:39 Jul 21 2006
Times Read: 585

(These next few entries with Dates were from another site, before VR)



On the brink of something, fading fast like a dream.

Missing the point to tell you I fall into the impulses of my life. What is to love? The warm comforting feeling of being in someones presence? The sacrifices you make for them?

The touch, passion fire when you are intimate? To give yourself over wholly to be enjoyed by another. Love. And to take someone wholly enjoy them. Does this exist? Is it just out of the grasp of some while others find it and cherish it or throw it away?

It seems that this wonderful, life altering feeling can put in the pit of hell once it is through with you. And so the light of Love becomes the dark. Would you give yourself over wholly? To love or anyone who would portray it. What lengths would you go to to keep it? The ends of the earth? For love does surly bring you into its light but, if that light is not fed darkeness comes

on swift wings.

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

Who is already sick and pale with grief..."

Energy from Emotions???
08:32 Jul 16 2006
Times Read: 589

So..I am reading through a journal and isn't funny how you come upon "Ah-ha" moments. I know that I can feed off of peoples emotions. I do it all the time. But, I just realized...I start fights in the relationship I am in to feed. I don't think I do it intentionally, but now that I realize what I do will it be intentional. Not that I like the fighting...but I feel a bit invigorated by his anger....I write this with a small chuckle.

And, though I haven't studied feeding...as I should. I know I know naughty me. I wonder...is it bad to feed off of that kind of energy??

Bits and Pieces of Me.
07:38 Jul 16 2006
Times Read: 590

As I sit here and wade through the profiles on VR I find some okay...some that truly suck and then some...some that have bits and pieces of me. I wonder how it is that people can share the very ideas that is there soul and come up with what I am made of. They say that every snowflake is unique...no two are alike...but aren't they made from the same water??

Tonight I found two people that I would love to have in my life....I guess we will see what is in the stars.