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Clutching my insides

There is no where to hide.

The time between us stands still...

Trust me, not by my own will.

I stare in wonder.

I stare in awe.

I watch my past

Begin to fall.

I feel secluded,

So un-included.

But watched at every move I make,

Looking through my faults and fakes.

I wish I could just look up from your face.

But even that would take me to the place.

I think most of you.



The way you did it,

You tore me apart.

I saw you with her,

A bullet through my heart.

I know I never told you

What you meant to me.

But don't you see?

Your kindness is too much for me.

It has to be more,

Than standing at the door.

Waiting to be let in...

I guess it's an impossible task.

It won't last...



I'll tell you,

Once and for all.

Not so easily...

Will I fall.

Thoughts going through my head.

Regular everyday dread.

Life hanging by a thread.

About to drop dead.

Nobody knows.

Nobody cares.

I walk down the hall.

Everyone stops and stares.

Not because I'm pretty.

Not because I'm popular.

I'm not.

I'm the outcast,

The loner,

Who dwells on the past.

Who lives in what happened.

Only bad things.

They haunt my thoughts

And penetrate my dreams.

They won't leave me alone.

Though I sit on throne,

In control.

They overpower me.

They see what I see.

They twist my sight,

Blind me with over-crowding darkness of my life,

Shutting out...

all light.