The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Time for a little declaration of my own.



I, Alilyanna of Lotus, have severed or been severed from all House ties.



As you all know there was a collar around my neck for quite sometime. My loyalty to the Empire and its Empress were infallible.



I have been banished because of a game between lovers that ended up spilling out to poison others.



I sit alone once more, on a throne of flaming oak, watching the stars fall from the sky.



Sarah McLachlin's remixed Vox track off the Rarities album drifting in the distance.



You wanted me out....



Your wish Empress, your wish...

At 1:30am early Sunday morning I received a phone call from a very dear friend. He was sobbing, this is not normal.





There's been an accident..... Les is dead.....





Oh god.... Linda.





Les and Linda are the best people I think I know. Linda is Erics sister, and Eric is probably my closest friend.





Linda and Les were in the kind of love that we rent movies to stumble across for 92 minutes in our lives.





I love and will miss you Les. We will watch over Linda. Be purified.

9 things I hate about people



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch

when I ask where the toilet is?



2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.



3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?



4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!



5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.



6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?



7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.



8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?



9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Today would have been the 22nd birthday for my cousin Grant. I am going to call my Aunt today, as from this far away my voice is all I can offer her.



I love and miss you Grant, but I am sure that you are somewhere playing hockey....



Garth Brooks

The Dance



Looking back on the memory of

The dance we shared 'neath the stars above

For a moment all the world was right

How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye



And I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end, the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

I could have missed the pain

But I'd have had to miss the dance



Holding you, I held everything

For a moment wasn't I a king

But if I'd only known how the king would fall

Hey who's to say? you know I might have changed it all



And I'm glad I didn't know

The way it all would end the way it all would go

Our lives are better left to chance

I could have missed the pain

But I'd have had to miss the dance



Yes my life, its better left to chance

I could have missed the pain

But I'd have had to miss the dance

TAKE THE TEST...THEN COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!



1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.



2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.



3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigsfeet, or breasts. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.



4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.



5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never,ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there too.



6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA,

college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim,you are faggadocious.



7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it--you're hungry for a meat popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play with the bitch in the passenger seat.



8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vousle Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC-spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out

too quickly.



Oh Rednecks... then make the world go backwards don't they.

Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing - It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do!



When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion:



(1) The woman goes to the store.



(2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.



(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it tothe man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.



(4) The man places the meat on the grill.



(5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.



(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.



(7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.



(8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.



(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.



(10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."



And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter

and says:



"Hi... you know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I would really rather have a job."



The social worker behind the counter says:



"Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be

provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".



The guy says: "You're bull shitting me!"



Social worker says: "Yeah, well, you started it."





I thought that you would appreciate this one....

I would give all my power to find a naturally dominant person in real life. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be a strong sub. I have yet to meet someone (excluding you) that makes me nervous.



The dream in my mind is so crisp. Someone that holds you against the wall, with hands or even purely with eyes. Someone that makes your breath catch in your throat. Short, fast, shallow, rapid breaths. Your hair standing on end. Your nerves on fire.



God I wish for someone that I do not have to stand in front of. Send me someone that is Enough that I can naturally fall behind. Someone that is taller, strong, more.... How do I explain. It is so intangible.



(You know what I am talking about)



There is supposed to be a natural order... Make me yours.