The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Going back to Socrates we have this idea that most people are doing the best they can, that almost nobody does the wrong thing on purpose. No, they believe what they think is correct, they’re doing what they think is right, what they think is what they’re capable of doing in the moment.

When we interviewed Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson about their book, The Self-Driven Child, they paraphrase an idea from Dr. Ross Greene that’s worth committing to memory: people do well when they can.

People are usually acting with good intentions. So when people wrong you or frustrate you or their actions perplex you, remind yourself that you’re not seeing the whole picture. People have other stuff going on. They don’t have the tools and the resources and the education you have. They don’t have your same sense of good. They aren’t perfect. They can’t do the impossible, so, as Marcus said, you shouldn’t ask the impossible.

Understand this. Commit it to your memory. People do well when they can. Most people are doing the best they can....TheDailyStoic

Believe it or not, there’s a pretty magical way to start making better decisions. It’s a secret that will also make you feel better, look better, and live better. You’ll live longer, think more clearly, and do less that you regret.

What is it?

Stop drinking. Or, at least, drink less.

Heraclitus’s line was that “a dry soul is wisest and best.” He’s right. Have you ever done anything you’re really proud of while drinking? Is anyone their best selves while drunk? Of course not. The best you can hope to say after a hard night of partying is that you didn’t make a fool of yourself.

Now, the Stoics are mixed when it comes to drinking. Cato was said to like to relax with drinking. Seneca clearly liked a good dinner party, but at the same time he wrote critically of people who obsessed over wine or bragged about how well they could hold their liquor. Marcus and Epictetus probably drank the least of the Stoics, though they did not say too much about the subject.

So while we can’t say that the Stoics were hardline teetotalers, their insistence on clear thinking, on self-control, and overall sobriety, makes it clear that they would have looked suspiciously at alcohol. As should we.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying life or a nice glass of wine, but we should look honestly at our own habits. We never want to be dependent or a slave to any substance, no matter how good it makes us feel in the moment. And we should be wary of anything that impairs our judgment and decision making.

So if you want to be the better version of yourself, there’s a real straightforward change to make: Drink less. Or better, don’t drink at all. The Daily Stoic