18:38 Jul 26 2008
Times Read: 795
Today has been hectic...
I thought it was Friday and it messed my whole day up.
I took my sister out with Ryan to go swimming this morning, then my baby had his nap and we finished watching the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. When he woke up I realized it was Saturday, all pharmacies in the neighborhood were already closed and Ryan needed milk... So we had to catch a bus to another town, hungry because we hadn't eaten all day... Oh nothing just went as planned today and I feel like I haven't spent enough quality time with Ryan.
I hate days like these.
I wish I didn't have to clean, cook, shop or anything and could just spend every minute playing with him.
My boy is so wonderful.
Now that I've let go of my weight issues, I am much more focused on just loving and being with him. He is growing up so quickly... nearly 9 months now.
He's saying "da da" now as well. :)
He's not crawling though, more wriggling like a snake on the floor... lol. But then many babies never learn to crawl so I'm not worried.
I've finally managed to get a routine on solid food, each morning begins with cereal and fresh fruit, later a bottle of milk, then some teaspoons of vegetables or chicken in the afternoon. He likes it... whenever he munches on something he goes "namnam"
I'm trying to speak as much Polish with him as I can, combined with English.
And I'm trying to read him stories every day as well... And go for walks, and give him tummy and bathtime, and some time in the walker, and playtime, feeding time, and and and... the day only has so many hours and it's hard to keep up, I'm stressed out most of the time.
Then he's such a tittie boy, what he wants most of the time is just to suck milk out of me. I have a feeling he won't let go of the breast easily, not that I mind, I love it.
His upper teeth are showing now as well, so he looks like a little bunny. :P
I love everything about him, he's my perfect little miracle. He's so sweet, kind, loving, cuddly, confident, sociable, friendly, babbling, curious, intelligent, beautiful...
And he loves to clasp his hands now too, I sing a rhyme to him in Polish and he starts clasping...
And he's always smiling, playing with his feet...
Yesterday I made the mistake of leaving him to sleep alone while I was in the kitchen keeping Yendor's mom company... I was afraid of getting comments on how I let him sleep in my arms and yada yada, so I went against my better judgment...
Then I hear Ryan waking up with a loud cry, so frightened... I ran to him and he was all teary-eyed and shaky, he could barely grasp his breath through the tears and didn't even take the breast... It took me about 15 minutes to calm him down, once he did he stayed cuddled up to me, quiet for a long time before he recovered and got back to his old smiling self.
I'll never make that mistake again, it broke my heart to see him upset like that.
No, he sleeps with me and it is going to stay that way. Some say I have to let him go, be away from him, let him grow independent. But that time is far away, yet to come! He's still a baby, he needs me close, what are these people saying?? Babies are sensitive to separation until about 2 years... Ryan is so attached to me now that he can't settle for someone else.
He never used to mind going to stranger's arms, but now it happens that he cries when he's taken by someone else... I don't know how I'm going to leave him in the care of my mother while I'm in Sweden, I was planning on enjoying some free time with my best friend... but I doubt I can go through with it, 5 minutes without my son and I go crazy missing him.
I do everything with him, I even take my baths with him and brush my hair and teeth while holding him... I only have free time when he naps, and then he sleeps close to me.
It doesn't bother me anymore.
I don't know if it's good or bad but I don't have the need to do stuff for myself anymore, I don't need to do my nails or do yoga... or whatever. I just want to be with my son.
Oh well, I'm rambling.
I haven't been reading lately but spent time with my sister.. and then I don'y know which book to read now.
Ryan woke up, see ya later.
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