I was looking for some funny jokes from a few of my friends today, I obviously didn't think this through very well, I was the target. So marriage jokes it was and here's what some came up with.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
As I'm sure you can tell my soon to be husband was not impressed!
Ugh have to find new wedding dress as mine isn't beach friendly *sigh* oh well I'm sure I'll have some luck, :D
4 weeks till I'm married then off to Fiji for the ceremony. I can't wait I'm so excited....
From Urban Dictionary
My sis says its so true. lol silly girl
Alissa is really cool and everyone wants to be like her. She has the best friends, perfect body and knows how to win any guy over. She is always loving , if you dont mess with her, and once you go behind her back consider yourself gone!
Someone who loves attention. She is hot, beautiful and glamorous and extremely popular. She is outgoing and crazy at times. She craves attention, and she will go to the extreme to get it. She can be a huge bitch if she wants, or the sweetest cutest girl ever. But watch out.. she is fierce.
Alissa, the most beautiful girl on earth. amazing smile, gorgeous eyes, cute body. grabbable butt. is usually unnoticeable but once you catch her sparkling eye, your world flips around. loves attention and socializing. great kisser. boys bow at her feet. quiet and adorable, or loud and sexy. the best friend ever and the most loyal girlfriend you can ask for. don't lose an alissa, or you will regret it! :)
Boy 1: "dude, did you see her eyes? they're all gorgeous!"
Boy 2: "yeah, i did, man! who's she?"
Boy 3: "alissa. but don't bother, she has a man already. damn he's lucky. i'd do anything to have her!"
How can you help someone when all they do is bitch and complain?
My Mother dug herself a hole and now I have no way of digging her out. I've tried everything and nothing works. I've given her money, paid her rent, given pep talks and rubbed her back. I'm her shoulder, her rock, her muse, but still its not enough. I need to let her go but feel horrible for doing it. She threatens suicide if it wasn't for others she'd already be gone. What I wanna know is how do I deal with knowing that I did all I can if she ever succeeds and blames it all on me?
COMMENTS
Wow so excited I'm engaged and eloping can't wait to start my new life.
As I'm eloping this is really the only place I can express how happy I am.
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