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I think there is something wrong with me, lately. I'm not feeling pain anymore... But I'm not feeling anything either, emotionally. I don't fear the people who want to hurt me every day, nor do I feel the need to hide from those who hate me to avoid confrontation. "Let the pain, the insults, their mocking calls, run down my body like water"... This was my frame of mind. Usually, I'd think this a blessing, and be thankful for this piece of respite, but it comes with a price.

Not only do I not feel hurt anymore more, neither do I feel happiness in any sort of abundance, I don't care about life, I feel regret or anticipation.

However the worst part in many ways is that I don't feel love. If I lost the one I care about (who is blind to my love), or for instance, if a family member died, right now, I wouldn't care. I don't care about anyone.



What is this? It makes no sense.



Or maybe if reached that stage of depression that can be described as not feeling. From those I've talked too who like me are suffering from depression, both mentioned this state. I'm blank, dead to the emotional world. This is what I think has happened.



So how, I ask, as a Psi-Vamp who feeds of pranic energy, or emotions, will this effect me? That remains to be seen. For now, I'll just go on living.

Psychic Vampires need to feed on the pranic energy of others to function on a daily basis; its a fact of our existence. Many Psychic Vampires do this unconsciously, often not even knowing what they are and what they are doing to those around them, until they are 'awakened' to the fact of what they are. This may never occur in a number of cases.



That I know of, unconscious Psi-Vamps make up the bulk of the (race...?), which means, therefore, that unconscious feeding is the most common type.



Because of the dark times I am going through that sparked the lack of Pranic energy in me and lead to my awakening, the few friends I have the luxury to have around me may be my victims, though I don't know it. It is highly possible that I feed of my friends and family without meaning to, possibly hurting them... This isn't a very nice thought. It would explain however, why I have chosen to tell my story on how I became depressed to an abnormally large number of people for someone as shy as myself. Psi Vamps can feed on the sympathy that people give to them, is it possible that I am using these kind souls who listen to me and try to help me?



I sincerely hope not.