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For those that practice alternative, non mainstream spiritual paths, religions, or nonspiritual folks.How do you cope with lose of a dear or near friend? How do you respond to the question, "Arn't you afraid of what happens when you die?"

I was raised to believe in the honor of the circle of life: birth, infancy, childhood, youth maturity and old age and also death. Although the body changes through these cycles the Spirit does not. When the body is no longer visible though burial the spirit ascends. Communication can continue though dreams and visions. Where it is a time of loss, grieving it is also a time of joy for the Spirit is now free to join our ancestors. We are respectful to acknowledge that time will heal the wounds of immediate loss but that the memory of the person will not depart. In believing this when someone I love dies that its alright to feel the loss, to be sad, but to also know death is part of the circle and that this life here once it is over there is another place... helps. And that there is honor also in death. I hope this helps.

well i believe death needs to be a thing of joy and not sad for even tho we miss the person as they are gone . we can have joy and know that they have moved on to better place and knowing that the pains and tears and fears and upset feelings we have in this world are all gone we can not take the bad with us to the other side and if we do well then we make the other place like here and that is not a good thing . as life goes on with out thos who we have loved and lost . we fear not for them but for our own souls . for they are in there rest . they have made their life here and i do believe we only get one chance not come back here and do it again . to me that would be a bad thing not good this world to me holds only things that upset us . we try to do all we can to make things good for all man kind but we only make things worse . i do believe this is the way of death too lots make so much money on it . the grave . the funral . the time it takes to get all the loved ones here . and all the hospital and medical bills left over . we here in usa have made dieing a money maker . and this makes my morning a loved one even harder .

Instilling the fear of god, a supreme being, an entity that rules all our lives, is something that many would find quite difficult to shirk off. This is even more difficult to shrug off when one has a deep-rooted relationship with the dearly departed. I admit, it is quite a struggle to "see the whole picture" when one is being subjected to the experience of losing a very intimate relation. I can't speak for anyone, but it really depends on the Culture. Pragmatism has a tendency to pull even the most delirious, back to earth.

in the fullness of time, how someone dies more likely than not affects others less than how they lived

so, someone leaving is an opportunity to get together with their friends and family and remember how they affected us.

it's a time for reflection and a reminder to live every hour as if it's your last...

Carpe Noctum

i smoke a joint or drink some rum but thats just me, i think a lot of people delve into ways to kill the pain of losing someone

yes is true we all deal with death in our own ways but most get togther to say see you soon not see you never again . it makes it a lot less painful but its all in what one believes . yes and i guess it is more sad if one believes that this life is all there is . for we only live for so long . but think of it if the truth of the matter is we live and dont die at all just change the way we look . then you can say we do come back . but am not so sure of this. to have pain from the death of others is ok but what of ones self then do we mourn ourself if when we die we come to the fact after we die that there is a after life and then its to late becasue now we have to live out forever knowing we believed wrong are whole life .

Each of our toughs, belief and faith we all have our own way, and we all have different ways to approach or avoid, or run, what happens to us or what we have to face... especially death of a loved one... either be a friend or lover or family member... its never easy.

Some take more times then other, there is no "standard" ways or time frame to 'deal' with the lost, we can call it "deal' with it, or to "face" it or to simply live with it.

We got no way to predict, even if we are aware that sometimes it will "happen" like when someone is dying of a disease... even if "we know' it still hits.

Pain is like a puzzle to which you got no picture of it and no pieces seems to fit with another... but in the end you still do the puzzle, day by day... sometimes you see a picture, other times only part of it... sometimes you just look at the pieces and do nothing... its ok.

In the end you know its a puzzle and its yours and you can get help to build it, to complete it and finish with memories, souvenirs to look at that will remind you good moments, even if the pain remains, you can make sens of it and you can still see the good memories

I'm not sure how "alternative" I am, but I find myself increasingly asking questions. I know it's not possible to actually really **know**, and that it really is, ultimately, an article of faith when you get into life after death, the existence of a god or gods, etc.

I used to be very firm in my belief that there was something after death, and I certainly hope there is. But I'm not so sure about any of it nowadays.

When it comes to the question, all I can do is hope and focus on the thing I do know exists - the memories of the person who has passed. So long as memories remain, even as long as their name remains (be it from memory or reading about it in some history book or old journal from centuries ago), then in a sense that person is still not gone from this world. And in a way, they're immortal. That is especially important in today's digital world where our lives online, our pictures, messages, etc. may indeed last for as long as the Internet exists.

i am not afraid of when i die it is the if i die' part that scare's me most i have died twice now and came back and now i have gift and see hear thing's most would freak out on. giggles!

well i do know grieving is a important thing when it comes to a family member . but the thing is we all take it so differently and i just have had so many in my family die . its like i guess i am more worried i will be the last one in my family to go . its a very scary thing to think about .

well its not the unknown when it comes to be . i am younger then my sister and dad and they are all family i have left . so i will out live them and i dont know how i will take them leaving this world behind.

I know this sounds wrong but honestly when I lose someone I am happy for them.....the pain and suffering of the world around us is over for them.....and I hope one day to see them again but I do not shed tears for them......they would not want that they would want me to stay strong and move one.

Nope I know exactly what happens when we die as it is taught in my path

Its kinda an independent thing everything is different for anyone so i just go to services and a funeral burial and then go home and take some timefor meditation and talking to the great spirit of the skys

In my home village we burned a candle, like a pillar candle - during the time the candle burned we could do anything we needed to cope with the loss: cry, break down, get drunk, sleep - but once the candle was finished, it was time to move on. It helped me greatly

As for the original question about being afraid of death: everyone fears the unknown and death is always going to be the last great unknown. Death is certain, so it is pointless worrying now about what will happen - I am more afraid about the manner of my death (hope it doesn't hurt)

the death is not what herts the most . its just that not seeing that person for a time . or maybe feel bad about not doing something . i dont know i am only human . but its a very painful thing or should be and i guess that life has got me so busy and i am more worried about ending up on street that i have no time to think about my loss.

@ Vampyrian , NO one knows 100% what happens to us when we die. We all have our beliefs and what we would -like- the here after to be but to post you know is wrong.

Even with the what I went though that I had at 6 years old as an adult I can look back on it and see it as, I had brain damage. My favorite aunt had passed away. I missed her. I had a dream about her while I was in a coma right before I woke up. Now, I would love for it to be what I want it to be. That I was passing over and my aunt who I loved told me it was not my time and told me I had to go back. But do I know what happens when someone dies? No. No one knows for sure. So with your claim you do know, expand on that comment.

The hardest part about death is the loss, missing that person just like someone said here. The only thing we knows for sure about death is one day we ALL will die. One day we all will know what happens but we will not be bale to tell those we love where we are or what death is. I do like I said believe it is part of the circle of life. I do not fear death. I sometimes fear life more.

I grieve that I won't see a person anymore, but little else. Sometimes death can be a release so don't grieve that a person is no longer in pain.

Some very well post here. Thanks all. With a few smug exceptions there is a fine example of healthy contemplation on the topic of death, and morning. Just wish there was a thumbs up feature in our forums.

everyone handles death in their own way I go silent and just vanish

I must say I think that facing death is different also for everyone, being afraid of dying, or what do we think happens after or what we know or not know...

I guess depends on so many factors we can't even list them or never ending listing them, I mean in pain no pain, sick not sick, sudden slowly, alone with others etc.

So its really a deep question and one to think a lot deeply about when you ask yourself those questions.

Wankatanka here
Everything is living, give back what you take

O dark dark dark, they all go to the dark! T.S. Eliot

The sap dying gets off easy, it's the mourners that get the burden. -Unknown Mortician-

•The difficulty about all this dying, is that you can't tell a fellow anything about it, so where does the fun come in? ~ Alice James

•If your time ain't come not even a doctor can kill you. ~ American Proverb

•He would make a lovely corpse. ~ Charles Dickens

•I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary notices I have read with pleasure. ~ Clarence Darrow

•To you who have never died, may I say: Welcome to the world! ~ Clive Barker

•But the peasants -- how do the peasants die? ~ Count Leo Tolstoy

•If even dying is to be made a social function, then, grant me the favor of sneaking out on tiptoe without disturbing the party. ~ Dag Hammarskjold

•We all have to die some day, if we live long enough. ~ Dave Farber

•Death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down. ~ Dick Sharples

•Death - To stop sinning suddenly. ~ Elbert Hubbard

•A person doesn't die when he should but when he can. ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez

•They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days." ~ Garrison Keillor

•I don't mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day. ~ George Axlerod

•If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? ~ George Carlin(When will Jesus bring the Porkchops?)

•Good news for senior citizens: Death is near! ~ George Carlin(When will Jesus bring the Porkchops?)

•Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. ~ Groucho Marx

I will honestly say that I have no idea what happens. One of the reasons that I am here.

everyone handles death and pain in different ways I tend to block off my emotions and deal with my own problems when I am alone....around others I try to hold the appearance of steel

I do not handle the death of friends or family very well to be honest. I don't know for certain what happens to us once we die and that really scares me.

The Universe is indifferent, and pitiless, We are just a biochemical form powered by a slight charge, we are that charge it stimulates the function of the brain, the pulses and how and where they are routed determines out id, and consciousness. We are sentient, or self aware. Once that "spark" of bioelectricity is traumatically extinguished or slowly fades. That is it for us. We are no more. Our "soul" is that "spark". That is what we are, it manipulated out genes, and "coded" us, it is our "software". our body .. the pumping of our heart our pulmonary system breathing is the generator the "hardware". To me heaven and hell relates to the state of your mind and consciousness when you are in the shut down process of dying.. Namely the oxygen being cut from the brain, as I mentioned in the NDE thread Test pilots at 8 gs experience what they swear to be 5 to 8 min "visions" or deep dreams, a symptom of oxygen deprivation If you harbor bitterness, or great regret/guilt/conflicting thoughts then that will contribute to a negative "final vision". if you are clear of conscious then you can pass comfortably with the pleasant vision concocted by your subconscious just for the occasion of passing, to take your mind of the trauma. I've chatted with numerous people in a PTSD forum where a good number have suffered traumatic experiences and the resounding refrain is that they "went into a dream" long enough to get past being fully alert. I am in the group because I suffered when my heart crashed and I went code blue and they lost me for a brief time, First the endorphins hit you. You tingle all over then go numb that's when I felt out of my body. Then I started my vision, hazy at first with a static current /veil around me. I willed myself thru the veil and came to a vast expanse with a gargantuan coil like fiber optic cable made of streaming lights, and lights flashed over my head from behind me. Along the ground struggled dimmed lights grimy with a darker static, and trailing tendrils these lights struggled to reach the coil/stream. I didn't feel like my spark was strong enough to cast so I willed myself back. I later interpreted my vision, The lights flashing overhead were "enlightened" sparks, while the grimy and dim ones were sparks that wasted or spent their spark foolishly or attached themselves to interest that drained and entangled their spark. So I don't claim to know what happens once you are dead and function ceases. But I have had experience with what happens on the way to dying. That is good enough for me. So with that in mind I chose to live my Life as if this is it , no "pie in the sky" no after life, no second chance thru reincarnation. So when people ask my how I comfort people after the lost of a loved one I tell them to celebrate their Life and to surround themselves with friends, and families of the deceased because their they are in part in every person they encountered they left an impression. I tell people to share thoughts and experiences while alive because probability is that one of you will die an untimely death. Grim? Maybe but by being so I am more apt to push the envelope in relations and associations, because while you may not be close or friendly with a certain person you maybe called on by a mutual acquaintance to share about them, and that sharing is that persons way of grieving and getting thru the mourning process. I took me much reading of various cultural grieving to real get my head around the subject. What I want to relate most is that established religion goes not own a monopoly on comforting the grieving and consoling the dying. But how to console dying person is a topic for another thread. This one was inspired by .. you guessed it me losing a friend to an untimely death.

The following, written by NPR commentator Aaron Freeman, is a gem!

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you'd hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him/her that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let him/her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her/his eyes, that those photons created within her/him constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you'll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they'll be comforted to know your energy's still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly.

Amen.

We have abundant proof that there is no “life” after death. “Life” being defined as a conscious state of mind, where one can see, feel, and interact with others. If there is a state where one is not aware of his/her individuality then one cannot regard that as life after death. What is that proof? My mother died of Alzheimer's disease. Slowly her brain deteriorated, her memories, her personality, her ability to reason, sadly, slowly but inevitably changed and finally disappeared while her body was still alive. In the end there was not any awareness or any control of her body movements. The brain died before the body. Medical research has shown that, without a doubt, the death of brain cells was the cause of this dreadful outcome. Conclusion: When the brain dies, self-consciousness, and awareness dies with it. No amount of wishful thinking and wacky theories can change that. Many, well educated people, cannot accept that death is the end of one’s personal awareness and dream up theories that seem to make it possible for a form of afterlife. One that comes to mind is the claim that since energy cannot be destroyed, the energy that leaves the body reformulates itself in some other realm and thus one’s awareness can survive. Indeed Energy cannot be destroyed but it can dissipate. The energy, which is released in the environment, is not destroyed but absorbed by other substances without keeping its original chemical/electrical composition it had in the living brain. When we scramble the zeros and ones in a computer, we still have the same number of bits but the information is lost forever.

As a budding practitioner in elemental witchcraft, I'm not sure how to answer the question. If you'd like specifics, my first major loss did not bode well will my mental state, especially at a young age. Now as it's been so long, I've slowly come to terms with the damage that was undoubtedly destroying my chances of having a successful future.

Ever since that strong passing, I've grown to understand a level of reality. But perhaps, it isn't the one that everyone originally thinks of. I am very clairvoyant and am growing in my psychic prowess, and knowledge. Even as faith may put it, 'loved ones will always remain in your heart.' Taking that literally, I've always felt that my mother never truly left me. The strength of her 'signal' has died down a bit, or I'm just too busy not paying attention.

I'm not sure if I am communicating with those that have passed, or not. It could all be in my mind, do to many things. But which one should I believe? I'm sorry, I'm getting off topic.

Strangely enough, I don't fear death. I fear the process of dying, but the end result doesn't matter to me. What good would it be to fear the inevitable? Only to cause unnecessary added stress? I don't think so. I do hope that I live a very prosperous life, long and healthy, but I won't be devastated if my journey comes to end. It will just be my time. (Not trying to sound morbid and depress you readers.)

I do not fear death. It IS inevitable. I try to not waste energy on things beyond my control. But instead focus on living life to the fullest.

I deal with loss by honoring their memory and remembering the good. We mourn when we realize we'll never see them again.

I lost my sister in August of 2012, we had a memorial service n then had a bbq n partt afterwards, we celebrated her life...I lost my daddy in december of 2012, we celebrated his life with another party...I lost my momma in July of 2013, we once again had a celebration of life n a party. We had all three creamated n I have their ashes sitting on my shelf where I talk to them every day n night.
To me death is a celebration of life, not something to be afraid of. I have had extensive talks with my children about what I want when I die, they don't really want to think about me dieing and I can understand that, but I also know it will happen and I'm not afraid of it.

Death is a Journey, no question about that. We all are going to die...sound bad, but, is reality. When someone enter into the Journey, the people left behind, feel an impulse to feel sad or to cry. Is normal to be human. If you feel that grieving is good, then do it. For me, I don't grieve. My reason is, I am aware of who we are and where we are going.

There is no wrong or right way to grieve no matter your Spiritual preference. Not everyone will experience all the steps to grief nor will they experience it in order.

I have had clients that are still grieving after 5 years...that is the pace they are comfortable with and most of it does not have to do with a fear of death it is mostly the thought of that person no longer in their life. I use a person-centered approach and let all clients know that what they feel is normal. I try to teach them healthy ways to cope and process the death.

"Grief is like the ocean,
It comes on waves ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes the water is calm,
And sometimes it is overwhelming.
All we can do is learn to swim."
~Vicki Harrison

I do not cry when I grieve, I dont not know why it is, But i feel sadness just no tears ever come out..

i have no more tear to fall from my face i grieved much in my early years but as time grew older for me each time i have seen another loved one of mine die in my presence as i see them take their last breath the only thing i feel is that it is normal and it won't be the last perhaps that is why i secluded myself from others for many years my heart could not bear another close to me as far as if i am afraid to die the answer is no i have waited for it for some time now and keep wondering when that will come

I have never felt grief or sadness at any life's passing simply because life matters little to me. This world could be purged of all life for all I care, preferably human life.

Grief, like guilt is a useless emotion that cripples and hinders the human animal. Survival and the future is what matters, not the past.

funerals and graves are a pathetic waste, first off.. those bodies are a source of meat that could feed a group, secondly such funeral rituals doesn't change anything, dead is dead.. Nor does visiting a grave have any use in nature.

Not big on grief, sure you can miss someone all you want but the emotion of grief doesn't really help anyone or yourself. Talking to gravestones is just the same as well. The dead cannot hear you.

Do I fear the big D {Death} no what I fear is how I will die

Grief mourning we all do it in a way that brings us peace and comfort
My way when was living in my hometown was on holidays, their birthday, anniversary of the day they died and then the day we had their funeral was visit them at their graveyard and talk to them let them know how I am doing and the rest of the family
Later that day would take a look at my photo albums and remember the day it was taken if there and all the times we had both good and bad {the photo albums are lost now stolen by a family member I no longer have contact with in the last 16+ years} and then cook their favs for dinner and salute them and glad that they are no longer in pain etc and remind them we will meet again in another lifetime when its my turn to die

Today when I lose a love one I have a dinner of their favs, talk about them to others that knew them and celebrate that they are no longer in pain. Their physical bodies might be gone but they are still here with me in photos, letters and in my heart

The last death I had to experience all happened in 2015 ending with my 5 hour granddaughter who my son got cremated which is the way I want to be

I say celebrate their lives and the way they touched you while they were among the living and do it in a way that you want no one has a right to tell you what is right and what is wrong in the way you do it and on the day of their funeral or when you bring back their urn from the funeral home have a wake and if you have their urn think carefully on what you want to do with their ashes if they have not left any instructions in how they want their ashes distributed

That sounds more logical, fearing the cause of death rather than death itself. Death is not always quiet and painless, it can be brutal, painful and ever so slow. If in a circumstance death was absolutely certain one way or the other, nearly all would choose to go for the one that would cause them to suffer the least.

Still grief is unnecessary, it seems like baggage to me. Grief is not needed to remember the fallen.

If you look at vampirism, for example, there rites and incantations to a funeral rite, for instance, are laid out in black and white. The rational behind the words of the incantations are also explained in clear terms. In this sense, it provides the reader with some prior knowledge, the "just in case" scenario. I don't know, it is very difficult. In some religions, crying is not allowed upon the demise of a loved one. No one sheds a tear. It is a joyful event where the soul of the dearly departed is believed to transcend the boundaries of this world to a happier, better next dimension of existence. So, it really depends. I don't wish to name names here... but, if you look around, funeral rites are a way of getting an idea of how a specific culture deals with mourning and grieving.

Just my two cents. I hope I did not offend anyone.

Speaking of funeral rites, any dead person suspected of being a vampire or going to rise as one, would have their head chopped off, garlic stuffed in their mouth and even staked.

I don't go looking for death, but I don't fear it either. Do I fear what happens to us after we die? My answer is a firm NO! Why should I fear that which I do not know?

Honestly there would be no point.

There are a lot of strange mourning rituals out there, some channel it into anger or hatred which more often than not ends up being aimed at the wrong person. blaming others is actually how some people cope, its illogical but there we go.