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My views on life have changed. Things arent as bad as they seem. my relationship has seemed to have gotten better. My kids are so beautiful. One day I would like to make my fiances fantasay come true. Just once because i love him. I am just a little worried it will change or relationship. He has always wanted to see me with another girl. i just want her to be the right one. I enjoy being with my children. I would like to spend more alone time with my man. Sometimes I dont feel appricated by him. The computer seems more important than me. I hope if i fufill his fantasy maybe things will change. If not it will ruin us. I just want to know if we where ment to be together. I am completly oppisite of him. Is into the "gangster life" or what ever and I a dark person. He knew what I was like when we got together. Just dont know if he truely loves me . It is hard to tell. I have also decided that if this relationship dont work out I am going back to being with girls. At least they listen and understand me. I know my family wouldnt treat me any different. I am to the point I will try anything to make this work. I am not just looking for a female for his fantasy I am looking for a girl for me. Someone who understands me and will comfort me. Someone i can do the same for in return. I want a friend someone who i can trust. I hate liers an fakes. Feel free add me or whatever. Just remember i am very strange and differenet.

Heres and update my fiance got out of jail kicked me out and took my kids i gotta get a lawyer to get them back. life sucks dont wanna continue living it with out my kids. but i dont have a controlling man to tie me down thats the only plus outta this.

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