The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

My Favourite Movies - Chronologically:

1968

~Black Lizard: Akihiro Miwa. Japanese 60s comedy featuring a cunning female jewel thief, Black Lizard, played by a transvestite.

1971

~A Clockwork Orange: Malcolm McDowell. "If a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man."

1972

~Pink Flamingos: Divine. "Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!"

~Last Tango in Paris; Marlon Brando. "Your happiness is my hap-penis."

1973

~The Exorcist: Linda Blair. "Stick your cock up her ass, you motherfucking worthless cocksucker!"

~The Sting: Robert Redford. "If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you had some class!"

1974

~Sweet Movie: Carole Laure. "golden penis, sugar basted, knife stabbing, girl in suitcase, compulsive vomiting, psycho communist porn"

1975

~The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Tim Curry. "By the light of the night it'all be alright. I'll get you a Satanic Mechanic."

1977

~Annie Hall: Woody Allen. "Sex with you is really a Kafka-esque experience."

1978

~Animal House: John Belushi. "See if you can guess what I am now...::pop:: I'm a zit, get it?"

1980

~Caddyshack: So many names... "You know I've often thought about becoming a golf club."

1983

~Flashdance: Jennifer Beals. "When you give up your dream, you die."

1984

~1984: John Hurt. "If you want a vision of the future, Winston, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever."

~Police Academy: Steve Guttenberg. "From now on, you are "D" Squad; "D" for "dirtbags." When I say: "Hey, dirtbags!" that means you."

~Once Bitten: Jim Carrey. "He wants me because I am nice and sweet and pure so fuck off."

~Sixteen Candles: Anthony Michael Hall. "Can I borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?"

1985

~Clue: Tim Curry. "It's a matter of life after death, now that he's dead I have a life."

~Legend: Tim Curry. "What is light without dark?"

~The Breakfast Club: Judd Nelson. "But face it. You're a neo maxi zoom dweebie."

1986

~Labyrinth: David Bowie. "It's so stimulating being your hat."

~Ferris Beuller's Day Off: Matthew Broderick. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it."

~Pretty in Pink: Jon Cryer. "I just want them to know that they didn't break me."

~Little Shop of Horrors: Steve Martin. "The guy sure looks like plant food to me."

~Trick or Treat: Marc Price. "Whatever happened to the good old simple love song?"

1987

~The Princess Bride: Cary Elwes. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die."

~The Lost Boys: Kiefer Sutherland. "The one thing I never could stomach about Santa Carla, all the damn vampires!"

~Spaceballs: Mel Brooks. "It's my industrial strength hair dryer, AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!

~The Witches of Eastwick; Jack Nicholson. "I always like a little pussy after lunch."


1988

~Beetlejuice: Michael Keaton. "My life is a dark room. One big dark room."

~Coming to America: Eddie Murphy. "So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea. "

~My Best Friend is a Vampire: Robert Sean Leonard. "No problem! I'm carrying a can of invisible hair spray."

~My Stepmother Is An Alien: Alyson Hannigan. "Your attitude sucks."

~Killer Klowns from Outer Space: Chiodo Bros. "What're ya gonna do with those *pies*, boys?"

~Hairspray: Divine. "Look at your hair! All ratted up like a teenage Jezebel."

1989

~Batman: Michael Keaton. "This town needs an enema!"

~Major League: Charlie Sheen. "You may run like Mays, but you hit like shit."

~Scandal; John Hurt. "We all have something to hide, what a boring life it would be if we didn't."

~Heathers; Christian Slater. "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw." "You're beautiful." "Corn Nuts."

~Troop Beverly Hills: Shelley Long. "If you contributed anymore to this marriage, we would be on welfare."

1990

~Repossesed: Linda Blair. The Devil's back. But he's never dealt with an exorcist like this!

~Cry Baby: Johnny Depp. "The first thing a Cry-Baby girl learns is our bosoms are our weapons."

~Pretty Woman: Julia Roberts. "I'm gonna treat you so good, you're never gonna let me go."

~Madhouse: Kirstie Alley. The bad news is you have houseguests. There is no good news.

~My Blue Heaven: Steve Martin. "I had to learn to jump start ambulances, to get invalids to the dialysis machines."

~The Witches; Anjelica Houston. "You may remove your shoes! You may remove your wigs!"

1991

~Silence of the Lambs: Anthony Hopkins. "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

~Close My Eyes: Alan Rickman. After some years of tension a brother begins a sexual relationship with his sister.

~King Ralph: John Hurt. Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl.

~The Addam's Family: Raul Julia. "I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else."

~The Adjuster: Elias Koteas. Sex... Power... Obsession.

~Cool As Ice: Vanilla Ice. "I'm gonna go across the street and, uh, schling a schlong."

1992

~Wayne's World: Mike Meyers. "'Who's trying to kill you, Mr. Donut-head Man?' 'I don't know, but he better not.'"

~Batman Returns: Michael Keaton. "Just the pussy I was looking for!"

~Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Luke Perry. "You ruined my jacket! Kill him A LOT!"

~Reservoir Dogs: Steve Buscemi. "Torture you? That's a good idea. I like that."

~Cool World; Kim Basinger. "Noids do not have sex with doodles."

1993

~Dazed and Confused: Jason London. "Lick me, all of you."

~Dave: Kevin Kline. "He's not a President. He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person."

~My Boyfriend's Back: Andrew Lowery. "God, my boyfriend won't even pump gas for me."

~Point of No Return: Bridget Fonda. "I never did mind about the little things."

1994

~PCU: Jeremy Piven. "What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy."

~Serial Mom: Matthew Lillard. "Did you say pussy willows, Dottie?"

~Natural Born Killers: Juliette Lewis. "It's um whatchamacallit, fate."

~The Shadow: Alec Baldwin. "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"

~The Crow: Brandon Lee. "'Don't move Snow White. You move, you're dead.' 'I say I'm dead, and I move.'"

~Interview with the Vampire: Tom Cruise. "You are a vampire who never knew what life was until it ran out in a big gush over your lips."

~Beverly Hills Cop III: Eddie Murphy. "Axel please try to say Seh-er-ge. Surge? It sounds like a detergent."

~The Chase: Charlie Sheen. "You kidnapped me with a candy bar!?"

~Major League II: Charlie Sheen. "So a tough loss for the Indians as Pedro Cerrano doubles off a pigeon and is tagged out while administering CPR before the tying run could score."

~Swimming With Sharks: Kevin Spacey. "Life is not a movie. Good guys lose, everybody lies, and love... does not conquer all."

~Airheads: Steve Buscemi. "Wrong, dickhead, trick question. Lemmy IS God."

~Pret-a-Porter (Ready to Wear): Sophia Loren. I'm too sexy for this movie.

~Exit to Eden; Dan Aykroyd. "They have a Club Med for sex orgies?"

1995

~Vampire in Brooklyn: Eddie Murphy.

~Angus: Charlie Talbert. "I'm still here asshole!"

1996

~First Wives Club: Bette Midler. "Ladies, you have to be strong and independent, and remember, don't get mad, get everything."

~Foxfire; Angelina Jolie. "Do you want to come inside my house. Do you want to show me things I've never seen before. I don't want to tie you down, I just want to tie you up. Do you want to come inside my house."

~Set It Off: Queen Latifah. "The only breaks you get are the ones you take."

~Freeway: Keifer Sutherland. "Holy shit! Look who got beat with the ugly stick!"

~The Birdcage: Robin Williams. "You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian."

~My Fellow Americans: Jack Lemmon. "Hail to the chief, if you don't I'll have to kill you. I am the chief, so you'd better watch your step, you bastards."

~Crash: James Spader. "Prophecy is ragged and dirty... so make it ragged and dirty."

~Tromeo and Juliet: Will Kennan. "They found a peanut, all right, honey. They found a peanut of death!"

~Sgt. Bilko: Steve Martin. "I'm paralyzed from the hair down. Make the bad man stop."

~Happy Gilmore: Adam Sandler. "The price is wrong, bitch."

~Down Periscope: Kelsey Grammer. "I don't think we should trust a man with the words "Welcome Aboard" tattooed on his penis."

1997

~That Old Feeling: Bette Midler. "I haven't been this happy since it was okay to take drugs."

~The Ugly: Paolo Rotondo. "I was happy for the briefest moment."

~Wag the Dog: Dustin Hoffman. "This is all your fault you liberal commie convict hiring fuck!"

~Jack Frost: Shannon Elizabeth. "[I am] The world's most pissed-off snow cone!"

~B*A*P*S: Halle Berry. "I haven't used pork since Thelma on Good Times was gonna marry Ebay the African prince."

~Kiss the Girls: Morgan Freeman. "He's Don Juan on one side and Josef Mengele on the other."

1998

~American History X: Edward Norton. "Has anything you've done made your life better?"

~The Faculty; Josh Hartnett. "Just doin' my part for the deconstruction of America."

~Fallen: Denzel Washington. "And time is on my side..."

~Dark City: Kiefer Sutherland. "I have become the monster you were intended to be."

~The Velvet Goldmine: Eddie Izzard. "That man sitting over there in the white suit... is the biggest thing to come out of this country sinced sliced Beatles."

~Half Baked: Dave Chappelle. "You have smoked yourself retarded."

1999

~10 Things I Hate About You: Heath Ledger. "The shit hath hitith the fan... ith."

~SLC Punk: Matthew Lillard. "If the guy I was then met the guy I am now he'd beat the shit out of me."

~Fight Club: Edward Norton. "With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels."

~Jawbreaker: Rose McGowan. "It's not like we kill people... on purpose."

~200 Cigarettes: Courtney Love. "I've dated enough narcissistically neurotic men to know that you are all just a pack of roving babies in search of a giant teat from which to suck the lifeblood out of me until I am a hollow shell."

~The Boondock Saints: Willem Dafoe. "Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... FUCK."

~Deuce Bigalo: Male Gigolo: Rob Schneider. "Don't make me he-bitch man-slap you!"

~Magnolia: William H. Macy. "Respect the cock... and tame the cunt."

~Mystery Men: William H. Macy. "You must be like wolf pack, not six-pack."

2000

~Quills: Geoffrey Rush. "Conversation, like certain portions of the anatomy, always runs more smoothly when lubricated."

~The Crew: Burt Reynolds. Four retired mobsters plan one last crime to save their retirement home.

~Miss Congeniality: Candice Bergen. "I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!"

~Best in Show: Michael McKean. "I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts."

~Beat: Kiefer Sutherland. Sex and Drugs before Rock and Roll.

~Boiler Room: Vin Diesel. "I don't believe in fate, I believe in odds."

~Pitch Black: Vin Diesel. "I absolutely believe in God... and I absolutely hate the fucker."

~Bring it On: Eliza Dushku. “Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded.”

~Cabin by the Lake: Judd Nelson.

2001

~Wet Hot American Summer: The State. "I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters."

~Hannibal: Anthony Hopkins. "'Io fei gibetto de le mei case.' I made my own home be my gallows."

~Not Another Teen Movie: Jaime Pressly. "Who would've guessed that everyone in school was a professional dancer?"

~Down to Earth: Chris Rock. "I get hit by a truck, got a crappy body, and get shot. Now you want to take my soul? What are you the Blair Witch?"

~The Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le Pacte des Loups): Mark Dacascos. "All women have the same color when the candle is out."

~Maniacts: Jeff Fahey. "I will now demostrate 'Payback is a Bitch' procedure."

2002

~Cecil B. Demented: Stephen Dorff. "Family is just a dirty word for censorship!"

~Snatch: Too many names. "In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?"

~Queen of the Damned: Aaliyah. "She takes pleasure in only one thing: destroying life."

~Red Dragon: Anthony Hopkins. "Have you seen blood in the moonlight? It appears quite black."

~Death To Smoochy: Robin Williams. "But my stepdad's not mean he's just adjusting."

~One Hour Photo: Robin Williams. "The things you're most afraid of have already happened."

~Bowling for Columbine: Michael Moore. "Do you think it's kind of dangerous handing out guns at a bank?"

~Showtime: Eddie Murphy. "What are you gonna do, wrap me up in caution tape Top Cop ?"

~The Adventures of Pluto Nash: Eddie Murphy. "I met the perfect woman, so I had her cloned."

~The Laramie Project: Steve Bucemi.

2003

~The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Sean Connery. "If you can't do it with one bullet, don't do it at all."

~Underworld: Scott Speedman. "I guess it never occurred to you that you might actually have to bleed to pull off this little coup."

~Beyond Re-Animator: Jeffery Combs. "Religion has nothing to do with this."

~Flesh for the Beast: Caroline Munro.

2004

~Fahrenheit 9/11: Michael Moore.

~Inside I'm Dancing; James McAvoy. "You can shake me hand, or kiss me arse, but don't expect me to reciprocate."

~Bride and Prejudice: Aishwarya Rai. "You know what they say: No life without wife."

~Super Size Me: Morgan Spurlock. “You start getting the McTummy. You get the McGurgles in there. You get the McBrick, then you get the McStomach ache.”

~Harold & Kumar go to White Castle: Neil Patrick Harris. “Dude, what is the deal with Neil Patrick Harris? Why is he so horny?”

2005

~The Devil's Rejects: Sid Haig. "Did you hear what he called me, Boss? I ain't no chicken fucker."

~Hitch: Will Smith. "Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose."

~Mr. & Mrs. Smith: Angelina Jolie. "I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning."