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Quote: Turn the other cheek so I can eat the other side of your brains!
It was as the subtle, burning glances of His onlooking Roman captors, the remorsefully sullen followers became more stricken with terror, fright, and penance that Zombie Jesus returned to this world, forcing his broken, tired limbs, blood-stained from the mortal wounds he had suffered, to pull his undead carcass from the rough hewn Cross so that he might seek the most appropriate Earthly sustenance deserved of the sacrificed son of God: a crimson river of Flesh and Brains to satiate his heavenly hunger....
Away in a graveyard, a stone overhead
The zombie lord Jesus is raised from the dead
The bones and the corpses are at his command
And rise like their master to swarm o'er the land!
The women are screaming, then running away
Poor Mary and Martha are gnawed where they lay
I fear thee, lord Jesus, your curséd undeath
With worms in your bowels and rot on your breath.
Have mercy, lord Jesus, don't eat me today
Next year I'll be bigger, I promise! I pray
Some shaman or rabbi or priestess or such
Will stake you and save us from your deadly touch.
Some people believe that 2012 will be Zombie Jesus' last rising and bringing candy and undeadness to all those who tread against him. Those who help Zombie Jesus will also be rewarded with candy and a minor contagious disease (being turned into a zombie.) They say that in the "Bible" that an apocalypse will arrive when Jesus respawns in the next round of search and destroy (remember only one life in that game) and he will "Save our souls". This is a typo the "Bible" was meant to say "Rape-our-souls-and-hope-it-doesn't-get-pregnant". This typo has caused much controversy over Catholic's beliefs and Zombie Jesus decided not to do anything about it and see how they go in 2012. Mayan's also knew about Jesus' final rising from the dead and tried to warn the future humans.....
| Member Since: | Mar 07, 2012 |
| Last Login: | Nov 19, 2012 |
| Times Viewed: | 3,548 |
| Times Rated: | 93 |
| Rating: | 9.638 |
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As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul…
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