I'm an addict. I can never get the rich taste of blood out of my mind
Set at 06:36 on June 18, 2012
Quote: “Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.” -Stephen King
Mentor:
Coven:
Alliance
This is a place of reckoning. The only way out of the darkness is to accept the light. The world will only bring what you offer.. Walk through the world of my own and see the life of a darkened angel. I am the light of the dark...
Welcome to my illusion
No mere words can describe who I am. I can not tell you anything about myself, because that's a battle I haven't won yet. Though not much I will tell you this. I have lived the duration of my life alone and in solitude. I not only enjoy inflicting pain onto myself and other people, but I have this strange addiction to blood. I don't go around biting people on the neck, I simply enjoy the irony taste that blood provides.
I've been told that my lifestyle and thoughts are sad. I tell those people that it is my life, if I choose to life it in misery than let me be. I suffer everyday struggling to figure out who I am. Every time I think I'm close, it slips away from me, and all that I see is black. My illusion of life, has been nothing exciting. My thoughts frighten me, to believing that I will never know it all. My dreams send me on a journey far beyond this world. And my actions are inexcusable. I've done a lot that I'm not proud of. But like they say without the past there is no present or future.
I suffer in silence everyday. Vampires are my escape, from this crazy messed up world. Their lust for blood reminds me of myself. Their crimes of evil, remind me of the thoughts that race through my fragile mind. I can relate to vampires more than anything else. They bring me comfort because they make me feel....alive. No numbness or emptiness. Well I guess that's really all that I can say. When I know more I'll be sure to let you know.
I've seen the world as dark for all of my life. I enjoy the suffering of others, to see their blood spill brings enjoyment to my eyes. I have the believe that as much as I love the darkness, the shadows are showing the same love for me. They give me glimpses of the future in my dreams, they allow me a preview of what's going to happen. As I fall asleep at night, there's a dream which is more realistic that you can imagine. You literally are there, and you feel as though it's real. When you watch a movie, and someone is seeing things that they don't wanna see and they keep telling themselves that it's just a dream. Their heart begins to race and they begin to feel scared that it just may not be a dream. But in the end it really is. Well that's how I feel almost every time I close my eyes. Sure you can call me crazy, but I know what I've seen. The bizarre thing is these events don't come up until months later, and I get this sense of dejavu, and then I remember. Enough about this, on to something else.
Music is an escape from this cruel world. They say that music speaks to your soul, embracing who you truly are. Deep down, you know you can not hide from the world forever. I find music, my savior, without it, who knows what might have happened.
Hell is home
My interest in hell, may have developed as my love for fire increased. I am a pyro and will burn anything, anytime, anywhere. If it can burn, it will become ash the instant it reaches my hand. I've attempted to burn off my fingerprints, but I learned the hard way that they do come back :( so that was both a success and fail attempt at erasing my identity. I was no one up until the moment my fingerprints returned. I've burned myself, animals, other people, leaves, sticks, old unused items, pretty much anything I can get my hands on. I like fire like a child likes candy.
I can't stand their voices, going on and on, when will it stop
They sit there, taunting me, telling me they know who I am
When will people understand, I don't need them to help me
I hate how they stare at me with confused eyes, telling me it's alright
How does anyone know what I'm thinking!!! They don't! You don't, and you never will!!!
I can help myself, I know more than they ever will
I've gone through so much shit, I can tackle my cravings alone
I can live my life alone, I want to be alone, all I feel is alone...
Let them in the front door, they steal you for everything your worth, running into the mist, never to be seen again.
The screaming continues to pierce your ears. Do you hear it....they try to pull me in. The gate way to hell is open. I've sold my soul, all the angels can burn! BURN BURN BURN BURN!!!!
This entire planet can suffer, and it will never amount to what I've seen. How does anyone know what I've gone through! They don't! You don't, and you never will!!!! But the question continues to haunt me....
WHO I AM?
I am the silent cry in the ghostly wind. The shadows on your wall. I breath down your neck, listening to your racing pulse. My teeth sink into your flesh. A river of blood begins to flow into my watery mouth. There is silence for a moment, then I am gone. What happened? Was it real? The shadows keep me safe, I remain there, watching as you struggle...then...death!
Inner Demons
I'm always fighting myself, attempting to make sense of all the chaos that has been thrown into my life. My family laughs at me behind closed doors, friends plot against me in my absence, shadows stalk me in the dark. Is this true or is someone telling me. Various moments in my life, I know that I don't feel in control. My thoughts are flashing in front of my eyes, displaying a lot of images I don't want to see. But then suddenly, the images begin to comfort me. I see the world burning, people screaming, flames so high they reach the sky and beyond. Blood covered streets and red flowing rivers. Animals falling, everyone and everything is gone. The world is falling apart from the inside out. I stare out my bedroom window, smiling, watching as I cease to be unharmed. I see hell being born outside, I am alone. I smell the flames approaching my bedroom door. I no longer care. Everyone else is already dead, and it's because of me. With a final moment of silence I open my bedroom doors allowing the flames to finally consume me.
Death is not frightening, I want to die, but only after I've made my impact, my mark on this world. I want the people to see there is no hope. We are all cursed, we are all evil. Watch the world passing by, see all the damage humanity has done. You say your against child abuse, murder, theft, discrimination, the death of mother nature. Here's a news flash, just because you say you don't like, isn't going to make it stop. My answer, just kill them all. I mean after all, who's going to miss them, if they really are so very bad.
| Member Since: | Jun 29, 2011 |
| Last Login: | Jan 16, 2014 |
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