The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am a human looking for a hot bite. I'm not a goth and I am obsessed with graphic and naughty romance books. I grew up in an impoverished dysfunctional family, but I learned much from it and now I know what NOT to do. My friends say I have an extensive vocabulary and they also say that I try to fix everyone elses problems first *cough cough* I bite off more than I can chew *cough* Not in a dirty way either you gutter balls. Also I can be very sweet, kind, loving, and I am absolutely fantastic with strangers. I'm the type to say there are no strangers, just people I have not met. During spirit week at school I guess you could say I dress very....spirity... I can't stop laughing right now because I have to read everything out loud in a British and a hint of an Irish accent, don't forget that sometimes my accent is french... oh i think there was some Scottish in there too. but that's just me... i should totally record this with voice... hahahahaha. Oh my dad is a religious nut job who likes to sprinkle holy water on people so he can see Jesus... and tell the store cashier about his visits from his angels. he has three apparently... and my mom... oh don't even get me started, most people think she is my grandpa that's right, my GRANDPA. She talks like a little kid and eats cake for breakfast lunch aaannnddd dinner. makes her look kind of like that blue berry chick from willy wonka and the chocolate factory. Too bad there is no juicer to squeeze her back to size... Also, she works in a school cafeteria and likes to poison the pizza, seriously... She killed my best friend last week. I have a new best friend every few days... I am surprised that our school population is as big as it is... poor foreign exchange students, go to try pizza for the first time and it is so good it kills them... This thing is so entertaining... Any who, that is something bout my non-Gothic, romance novel loving, mother hating, father.... being weird disguising, accent professional fashionista self.