For starters, I have a great love of knowledge. I might not be the smartest person in the world, but I love learning new things. Part of the aspect of my personal microcosm is what lead me to the study of the esoteric and the occult. I practice chaos magick theory which isn't exactly a form of practice in and of itself, and I am currently working on an occult textbook of my own to try to motivate me to stop being a crisis magickian and start actively practicing at (at least minimally) regular intervals. The text will more than likely be called "Liber Abeo & Liber Volubilis". I hope to one day complete it, but I very well can't finish the book until I've tried out all the different methods I'll be putting in the book. Results are what matters after all.
Other than the "occult" side of me (which isn't very occult - in so much as the definition of the word goes), I'm a member of the band EROS which is still in the practice stage right now, but we already have enough material for several cds, so hopefully we'll do something with it (don't think I'm delusional - I'm not giving up college for the band, but I still think it's ok to have a bit of wishful thinking).
And my pookey...
Currently, that's pretty much me, work, school, magick, and band. Now for some obligatory lists.
-i am jack's fear of mediocrity.
Things I’m into:
Magick and the occult, especially Chaos Magick Theory, golden dawn, Crowley, Austin osman Spare, thelema, maat magick, ice magick(be easier if frater U.D. would publish a bit more material on the subject, in English no less), pragmatic magick, glitterbombs, quantum mechanics, hp lovecraft mythos, Satanism(Lavey’s style), invoking the pandamoneaon, destroying the status quo, abolishing Christianity to pave the way for a new evolved human race that is not held back by the eggregore known as “god”, reading books, Robert anton Wilson, discordianism, grant Morrison, jhonen vasquez, slg comics, neil gaiman, genesis p-orridge, William Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg (as well as a shitload of other beat generation authors), hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, there’s a lot more books, and one of these days, I might just NOT be too lazy too add them, learning in general I like(if it’s a topic that interests me), the disinformation series, music(nirvana, NIN, the smashing pumpkins, tool, a perfect circle, sonic youth, beat happening, alice in chains, psychic TV, throbbing gristle, placebo, seether, rob zombie, as well as a bunch of other bands.)
So, mostly I’m into music, magick, knowledge…that’s pretty much me. I do play guitar, at least well enough to play a passable nirvana cover. If anyone wants to know what I look like(and I don’t see why it matters) turn to the back cover of your’ satanic bible(you SHOULD have one) and look at the picture of lavey…that’s pretty much me, shaved head/goatee. Anyways, thanks for letting me babble about myself, and bore the living dead girl outta you (what? ya gotta love zombie). But anyways, that’s me,(or if you know anything about cmt, who I currently allow my brain to perceive myself to be, as in this pathetic corporeal personality is just another step in a very long paradigmal shift that is know as life…wow, little deep there. Sorry. Anyways, also I do write music, so if you feel like checking the journals read some of my song lyrics and let me know what you think (I like good and bad criticism, just not indifferent). Also, from time to time, I might put up a banishing ritual or servitor creation idea etc. Well, nice typing to you.
-in chaos
(destroying the status quo, one christian at a time.)
Some movies I like:
Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Being John Malkovitch, Adaptation, eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike back, drawing flies, quills, stewie griffin:the untold story, Hype, stigmata, the 40 yr old virgin, saving Private Ryan, Mr. and Mrs smith....i'll add more later.
Some quotes i like:
"Nothing is true, everything is permitted."
-Hassan-I Sabbah
"At the age of six, my parents admitted there was no Santa Claus. The very next thing I thought, was, when are they going to admit there's no god."
-robert anton wilson
"do unto others, but do it first."
"only through absolute loyalty to each other, can the few control the many"
"nobody who wants political power should have it."
-peter carroll
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law; Love is the law, love under will."
-aleister crowley
"Find the others"
-timothy leary
"Ladies and gentleman, I have seen the Illuminati, and it is US."
-richard metzger
"christianity: hey, everybody's doing it."
-me
"this is a donna karan suit, fuck it! fucking punk rock man!"
-grant morrison
"you are being lied to."
"fuck consensus reality"
-disinfo
"who's right? no one is right."
-me
"i'd rather be free, than safe."
-me
"I'm an atheist, thank god."
-Aleister Crowley
Here are a few song lyrics... (not mine).
"Judith"
a perfect circle
you're such an inspiration for ways that i will never ever choose to be.
oh so many ways for me to show you how your savior has abandoned you.
Thank(fuck) your god.
he did this, took all you had and left you this way.
still you pray, never stray, never taste of the fruit. never thought to question why.
it's not like you killed someone.
it's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side.
praise the one who left you broken down and paralyzed.
he did it all for you.
oh so many ways for me to show you how your dogma has abandoned you.
pray to your christ, to your god.
never taste of the fruit,
never stray, never break,
never choke on a lie,
even though he's the one who did this to you
thought to question why
it's not like you killed someone.
it's not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side.
talk to jesus christ as if he knows the reasons why he
did this all to you.
he did it all for you.
"sober"
tool
There's a shadow just behind me, shrouding every breath I take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. Waiting like a stalking butler who upon the finger rests. Murder now the path called must we just before the son has come. Jesus, won't you fucking whistle something but the past and done? Why can't we not be sober? I just want to start this over. Why can't we drink forever. I just want to start things over. I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave, I will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down. Trust me. Mother Mary won't you whisper something but what's past and done. Trust me. I want what I want.
"Terrible Lie"
NIN
Hey God, why are you doing this to me?
Am I not living up to what I'm supposed to be?
Why am I seething with this animosity?
Hey God, I think you owe me a great big apology
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Hey God, I really don't what you mean
Seems like salvation only in my dreams
I feel my hatred grow the more extreme
Hey God, can this world really be as sad as it seems?
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
Don't take it away from me, i need someone to hold on to
Don't take it away from me, i need you to hold on to
Don't take it away from me, i need someone to hold on to
Don't take it
Don't take it
Don't take it
Hey God
Hey God
Hey God
Hey God
Hey God, theres nothing left for me to hide
I lost my ignorance, security, and pride
I'm all alone in this fucking world you must despise
Hey God, I believe your promises, your promises we're lies
Terrible Lie...
Terrible Lie
Terrible Lie
You make me throw it all away
My morals left to decay
How many you betray
You've taken everything
My head is filled with disease
My skin is begging you to please
I'm on my hands and knees
I wanted so much to believe
Hey God
Hey God
Hey God
"Heresy"
NIN
he sewed his eyes shut because he is afraid to see
he tries to tell me what I put inside of me
he's got the answers to ease my curiosity
he dreamed up a god and called it Christianity
your god is dead and no one cares
if there is a hell I will see you there
he flexed his muscles to keep his flock of sheep in line
he made a virus that would kill off all the swine
his perfect kingdom of killing, suffering and pain
demands devotion atrocities done in his name
your god is dead and no one cares
drowning in his own hypocrisy
and if there is a hell I will see you there
burning with your god in humility
will you die for this?
ASSAULT CONSENSUS REALITY!!!!
YOUR PERCEPTION IS UP TO YOU....
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH IT?
GLITTERBOMB A SCHOOL, EXPAND YOUR ANATHEMA, TRY SOMETHING YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER DO, WEAR DIFFERENT CLOTHES, BELIEVE IN NOTHING, WHILE BELIEVING IN EVERYTHING... THE ILLUSION OF "TRUTH," IS UP TO YOU.
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