Blixen's Profile at Vampire Rave.

I have come here, seeking to tell my story. It's very difficult for me to destroy the hopes and dreams that you have all put into Christmas, but, the story has to be told. You good people have put Santa Clause up on a pedestal. So high, that, when he comes crashing down, the world as you know it will shatter.

It all started, about 200 years ago. Life at the North Pole was everything you good people think it is. But, that was a different time, a different place. Mrs. Claus, she was getting on in years, and Santa, with all his magic, while appearing to get older, inside, was a very horny man. Mrs. Claus told him one day, that their marriage was wonderful, but, she could no longer satisfy him sexually. She was too old, too tired, and could barely keep up with cookies and milk for the elves.

This did not make Santa happy. He loved his wife, but could no longer take the chance of bringing in anymore hookers from the real world. People down there would start to talk, and his reputation was everything. Besides, Mrs. Claus, she'd almost caught him one time with those two hookers from the President's press junket. No, he couldn't take the chance.

That's when it all started, we all noticed that some of the female elves were no longer happy. This is not normal for an elf, not at all. They would hide, especially when you heard Santa over the workshop intercom yelling "HO HO HO." We later learned that this was a code word for a very small group of twisted elves to bring Santa his "Ho's" that he had chosen from the females. They were brought through the workshop, paraded for all to see. Santa had no shame. Santa liked his "presents."

After 50 to 100 years of this, Santa started going on binges. He'd drink, have wild orgies with the elves, many of who were forced to participate. He would send his little group of minions out with his sleigh, and have them bring back huge quantities of weed and booze, but, only the best. Nothing was too good for Santa. Those he bought his party supplies from. They were guaranteed never to be put on his naughty list.

There were days upon days, when Santa had to be dragged to his bed. We thought that many times, even though it was only one day of the year, Christmas would have to be cancelled.

Now, Santa got bored with the elves. It's true, that's when his warped and twisted mind turned to the Reindeer! One day, while on a drunken, weed induced binge, he came to the stables. It was horrifying. He eyed my mother. No, I won't mention her name, she's been through enough. Not even the snowmen could protect her. Many of them had all run off, or simply tried to find a heat lamp. They couldn't take it either. Santa had turned most of them into his evil little army.

We threatened Santa, we did, but he just laughed. "Go ahead, call PETA, I love them. People Who Eat Tasty Animals!" He shouted. "I OWN THEM!" It seemed hopeless. Santa, all powerful all knowing. He could get away with it all.

My mother ran away with Frosty. I've not heard from her since. I don't blame her. I spend my days, hiding from Santa and his minions, trying to tell the world the real story of what goes on at the North Pole. Santa, he never leaves the North Pole anymore. That's why you see all these fakes, in their cheap costumes, standing on corners during the Holiday season.

It's OK for you to hate me. I know you love Christmas. I know I'll get hate mail. But, someone, someone has to know what really happens at the North Pole...

Member Since:	May 25, 2011
Last Login:	Jun 26, 2011
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