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I Desire...
18:18 Dec 29 2011
Times Read: 409

I desire you

I desire you to understand

my position

my pain

my desire



What I have felt for the longest

was piled up inside

i can no longer contain

i am going mad



I may have drove you to..

despise me

to hate

to ignore



Because I desire your love

I feel terrible to make you feel those things

So I have the lust

to punish myself



For my stupidity

For who I am

I want to be stronger

For you and for myself



I reach for the blade every time

But I can't grasp it

I remember that I have made a promise

That was my old path

I was not to meet that path again



So i sob in despair

You cared for me so

You've always cared for me

You always tried so hard

To save me from everything



You've called me an angel

something precious

A God send

To save and love you



But look at me now..!

I grovel in the low levels..

of agony

and sadness



If only I was strong...

Strong as I was before

when I helped you fight yourself

I can't even think about my own life

Without tears rolling down my face



I love you oh so much

you've heard me before

and my situation

you understood

but you don't I'm sure



You are stronger than I

You desire to make me happy

You desire for me..

To not feel like this any longer



I Desire you

I desire you to understand

My position

My grief

My love

This was about me.. i still feel terrible
17:55 Dec 29 2011
Times Read: 410

Inside me.



Empty, is how you left.



Confused, scared, alone.



I am confused.



I am scared



I am alone



I am without you



You are heartless, without compassion



I will watch you die



I will not cry



Haze clouds these translucent eyes



Sweat creeps down callused hands



The lies outside I cannot feel



The pain inside bums



And as tears slip, she does it again



Scarred, bruised and broken



To the ground in tears I fall



Sadness locked inside me



Time ticks by, and soon I realize life won't end, it can't end



Not like this, not without sorrow and not with fear!



I know you are scared, cause I am too



And as tears slip she does it again



Haze clouds these translucent eyes



Sweat creeps down callused hands



The lies outside I cannot feel



The pain inside bums



I know you cared



Why did you leave?



From my knees I now stand



Begging for freedom from my cage



Now praising life for what I was given



From my knees I now stand



Bleeding for you from my heart



Now hating life for what was taken from me, by you



(END)

Bitter Sweet Winter
08:36 Dec 29 2011
Times Read: 414






AS I AM WATCHING

THE WHITE BEAUTY

OF THE SNOW WHIRLING,

AND BLOWING IN THE SKY

I CUDDLE UP IN MY BLANKET



AS I KEEP WATCHING

TO ME IT SEEMS LIKE

IF THE SNOW FLAKES WERE DANCING

RIGHT BEFORE THEY HIT THE GROUND

INSTANTLY MELTING



THAT TO ME FEELS IRONIC

AND IT DEPRESSES ME

TO THINK

THAT A SNOW FLAKE

SPENDS A LITTLE AMOUNT OF TIME

DANCING SO MERRILY

WITHOUT CARE

THROUGHOUT THE SKY

ENDS IT'S FUN

AND TO ME SEEMS LIKE IT'S LIFE

BY LANDING ON THE GROUND



BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT

ANOTHER SNOW FLAKE

CAN LAND QUICKLY

ON THE SAME SPOT

AND ANOTHER

AND ANOTHER

MAKING A PILE

OF COMPACTED SNOW

ALL TOGETHER MAKING A LARGE

FAMILY



THE SNOW FLAKE MAY MELT

THE SNOW FLAKE MAY END IT'S LIFE

BUT THEN ANOTHER

AND ANOTHER

AND ANOTHER

COMES AFTER IT

AND AFTER THAT

THEY MAKE A FAMILY

TO REPLACE THE PAST

SNOW FLAKES

THE PAST SNOW FLAKES



AS I AM LOOKING AWAY

FROM THE WINDOW

I FALL INTO DEEP SLUMBER

THE SNOW REMINDS ME

OF A HUMAN LIFE

ALTHOUGH

WE DON'T MELT AWAY

WE DO LEAVE

AND SO BABIES ARE BORN

IN OUR PLACE



WHEN WE DIE

THAT'S IT

BUT WE ARE NOT DEAD

NOT DEAD

WE ARE ALWAYS AROUND

AND THAT MAKES ME FELL GLAD

THAT MAKES MY OLD

HEART GLAD

I AM LIKE A SNOW FLAKE NOW

ABOUT TO END MY FUN

NOT ON PURPOSE



I CUDDLE UP IN THE BLANKET

OUNCE MORE

AND SMILE

BEFORE....

LIKE A SNOW FLAKE...

I MELT AWAY...