The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

22:24 Mar 30 2010
Times Read: 778
















The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to heaven..... which part of your body goes first?





Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think its your hands."



"Why do you think its your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."



"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think its your legs".



The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. Now Little Johnnie, why would you think it would be your legs? Little Johnny said,"Well I walked into mommy and daddy's bedroom the other night..Mommy had her legs straight up in the air, and she was saying,



"OH GOD, I'M COMING!". If dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her!"



THE NUN FAINTED!

Heh!
21:48 Mar 22 2010
Times Read: 827


Irish Viagra



An Irish woman of advanced age visited her

physician to ask his advice on reviving her

husband's libido.



'What about trying Viagra?'

asked the doctor.



'Not a chance', she said. 'He

won't even take an aspirin.'



'Not a problem,'

replied the doctor.

'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'.



It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee.

He won't even taste it.



Give it a try and call me in a week to let me

know how things went..'



It wasn't a week later when she called the

doctor, who directly inquired as to her

progress.



The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith,

bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid!

Just terrible, doctor!'



'Really? What happened?' asked the

doctor...



'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in

his coffee and the effect was almost immediate.

He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye

and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!

With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups

and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to

tatters and took me then and there passionately on

the tabletop!



It was a nightmare, I tell you, an

absolute nightmare!'



'Why so terrible?' asked

the doctor, ' Do you mean the sex your

husband provided wasn't good?'



'Freakin' jaysus, 'twas the best sex

I've had in 25 years!

But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never

be able to show me face in Starbucks

again!

Close encounters of the Third Kind maybe..? heh!
17:11 Mar 02 2010
Times Read: 920

Found on a member's profile....

i am a symphath looking for a mate-bond. in the mean time i do enjoy rough casual sex with non human beings.