I have always preferred rain and snow...fall and winter. Gloomy days with storm clouds in the distance have always seemed to bring me to life. I always have more energy during this kind of weather and I could swear, it heals my soul. Of course this sounds dramatic and honestly it is but....
Lately, more specifically for the past 2 years, my want for this soul-healing weather has become more of a need. I find myself searching for it anywhere...in the early morning like today, where the sky is still a little dark, faint clouds loom stationary and for a split second, it feels like the stormy days I dream of. I find it anytime the temperature is lower than 80 degrees, I pretend that the summer heat has past and at last the cold mornings and cool afternoons are just around the corner....I don't ever remember yearning for fall and winter this much before. Hmmm maybe I am just going through some type of change, or maybe I am just delusional and am trying to manifest what my soul desires...to be lost and free in the rain.
All my life I have felt as if I was...missing something...like that I was meant for something...more. I mean don't we all feel this way at some point. We grow tired of the mundane lives we have/lead. But....it's more than that. I could feel something in my soul, telling me I was made for something so much Grander then I could even imagine.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this....maybe its something in a past life? Maybe parts of it were left behind. to where I am picking up faint...feelings, memories. But who knows right? I mean for all I know I am simply creating what I truly want deep down...something Grander.
COMMENTS
There used to be an old saying, Ava...
"It is usually when a person feels the sense of being drawn to something that they find out they are supposed to have some part of a grander scheme..."
In other words, usually, when a person only "fantasizes" about something not amongst the "ordinary", they find that there is something subliminally waiting for them beyond that "fantasy".
Then there are those who are subliminally called for whatever their "purpose" may be, in the most... unorthodox of ways.
It's been awhile since being here...Oh the memories. I am hoping things aren't as hectic as they were back then. I am looking for a fresh start. So many things have changed in my life, and most of them good. I have found happiness, and this will be my inspiration for all my works of art. Hope you enjoy.
COMMENTS
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EstrangedOne
12:59 Aug 03 2021