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*This is my story. I wrote this because i wanted too. despite your comments and despite my age. its published. its on this website. like it or not.*



His skin was the palest white i'de ever seen. i was nearly jealous.I'm american emo. Everyone told me people couldnt be emo, but here i was in the flesh. Emo wasnt a race. it was a way of life. not a gender, and not a religion. It was Emo. It had nothing to do with goth. It wasnt somethimg about worshiping the devil. Some people were just ignorant enough to believe rumors. Not All emos cut themselves. In fact self mutilation had nothing to do with emo. Though i knew many Emos who did. I did. I was me. My own person.



It was raining as we sat under a conopy. I liked the rain better than daylight. It was a beautiful song tocapture the true beauty of the earth.



"Whatare you thinking about?" He whispered. I met his gaze as he watched me through hisjet black spiked bangs.Ijust nodded, saying noyhing els. He still waited patientally. I wasnt going to ruin this moment withwords.I was going to enjoy the silence. "Please tell me," Holloway leaned closer to me resting his head on my shoulder. "Holloway...." I didnt know how to finish. He is annoying. His pale beauty stuns me. He is not the tan blonde so many girls drool over. He is this sensitivve person i know so well.He turned his slightly to look at me. His big browneyes were beautiful surrounded by allthat black eyeliner.I leaned away from him so i could look him in the eye. I was completely lost for words. What cold i possibly say to this beautiful dark angel?



" I..........." I couldnt find my voice.



Just then he placed both hands on my cheeks, and looked me dead in the eye. His brown eye were gorgeous. I stared back at him blankly. It took me a moment to realize he was telling my everything with his eyes. With the silence. Thats when i realized i didnt need words at all. Slowly ever so slowly, he leaned into me, pressing his soft angels lips to mine. i was lost into him. We didnt need music at all. the rain was a lulaby of its own. His lips moved fom mine to my neck. Caressing some places, bitting others. My mind went num and i was going on pure instinct. Inhaling him, tasting him, feeling every inch of him. i now lay back on the grass as he hovered over me. My breathing was deep and heavy as he unbottoned my black cardigan revealing a black lacey Victoria Secret bra. I caught a quick glimpse of him smiling, but it quickly faded.



I pushed back his soft black hair as he kissed between the two cups of my bra and made his way down my abdonen. I was a pretty descent bra size. 36 c wasnt exactly small. The only sound was the pouring rain around us and our heavy in synch breathing. Soon he was slowly slidind down my jet black pleated mini skirt. I was thick I wasnt very curvy, Tall, Busty, and thick. And i was all those things but i was always insecure about my size. I was now in my underwear and i could feel him hooking his fingers inside the elastic band of my panties. Quickly sat up before he could proceed. In a panic i grabbed his face and beagen to kiss him. i guess he realized my panic because i was soon back lying down and he was back on top of me.



I unzipped his black and white stripped hoodie and layed it next to my head. He sat up so he could remove his T-shirt. His Body was paler than the rest of him. God he was beautiful.



Hours later we were still at it, and the rain still poured around us. I dug my nails so deep into his back he was bleeding. The penatration of him was so unbearable and pleasuring i couldnt breath. I was heaving and gasping for air, and bitting my bottom lip. My hands were covered in his blood. Everytime he went deeper, my nails dug deeper and he groaned louder. my legs were wrapped around him so tight i wondered if i was cutting off his circulation.



I was moaning so loud i was surprised we hadnt got caught. This was an extacy and i was lost. Focused on the sound of our breathing, my racing heartbeat, and every single stroke of pleasure that coursed through my viens. The feel of our skin on skin contact was the most indiscribable, pleasure i'd ever felt.I barley noticed his labret peircing. And heseemednot to notice my tongue peircing. I was just shocked by how many peircings he had. Especially the ones you couldnt see while he had his cloths on. I saw every part of him and there was no secret left between us.



My lips touched about almost every part of him. I Had the most joy in biting his neck. He told me i needed to file down my nails after a while of blood.



When we were finished we layed side by side next to each other. I was perfectly at ease laying back in the grass; my long cardigan wide open, and my bra practically displayed for anyone to see. Halloway choose to be completely shirtless and, trust me, i did'nt complain. I did'nt feel as insecure anymore. I felt confident. i knew i wanted him. And for once, i knew i loved him.

COMMENTS

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PAGAN
07:29 Nov 15 2010

...and, its good, you write really well :)

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The wound left by the blade of steel bleeds out as she lies head in hand.

Wondering why her once seemingly perfect life took such a terrible stand.



She cries every night craving what her old, perfect life used to hold.

Her friends, her smile, her family, her unbreakable stronghold.



Her heart is broken by the one who she thought she loved more then anything.

He took her heart, her trust and her love and threw it away, now her wrists are aching.



Her love he threw away was all that had kept her safe, kept her alive.

Now without the feeling of being cared for she can’t find a reason to survive.



She wants to live, she really does but, without his love she doesn’t see the appeal.

Any way out, any plan for escape she can’t find anything to do, this seems unreal.



Her world spiraling out of control as she just makes another blood covered line.

She didn’t know all of this would happen when he left, she figured she’d be fine.



But, without his love and affection her life that used to be perfect was now pointless.

She didn’t know anything would come out of her blood red marks, she figured it was harmess.



You try telling her they’re harmless now as she lies dead, six feet underneath the ground.

She was crying out, screaming at the world, just hoping to be noticed, hoping to be found.



Her “harmless” cuts were just the begining, they let her depression consume her.

If only someone had heard her cries out for help, maybe her life would’ve ended better.



All because he didn’t love her back, he didn’t feel the same emotions that she lived on.

She took those emotions way to far, she sacrificed her life over this one person being gone.



She love him so much but, He never knew all of the pain that she went through.

He didn’t know how much she cared, he never could see how he had made her new.



She loved him with her whole heart, but love doesn’t get translated from the grave.

If only she would have held on if only she wouldn’t have given in and caved.



She would be alive, happy and maybe even in his arms if she hadnt made that cut.

After that her life wasn’t happy or better or anything, infact it was anything but.

COMMENTS

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PAGAN
07:25 Nov 15 2010

I really liked the emotion in this. Keep writing, Im a fan :P

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