♥
Something to look forward to and something to love. Life ain't perfect, yet I can ignore everything else right now. I'm generally happy at the moment. :)
I woke up with a bruise on my thigh. I wonder if I do anything else at night that I don't know about. I already know that I sleep order food. And with that last line, you all now know I'm Ms.Fatty. lol "Can I have fries with that?"
lol I gotta pay 50 bucks in the end for the 3 week class, well fuck. >.> My broke ass is about to be fucked over this month, oh yeah. x_x
I have so much annoying paper work to fill out. >:/ And now another document says I have to pay more. Dammit. This better have a good outcome in the end. ;_;
The bad news is- I need to do a ton of retarded tests from my doctor before I take the classes and next month is only a few days. I'll end up missing this months classes and waiting a whole other month before I actually work. That's two months of no work, great. ._.
Scratch that last entry! I'm the happiest mo'fo' in the world right now. Seconds after I turned off the computer, I got a call about the free job training I wanted. :D YES! MY LIFE IS GONNA GET BETTER! I just know it. :3
One of those days where I just *know* I'm going to be cranky. I went to bed for 4 hours. Going to bed and actually sleeping are two different things. For that amount of time I couldn't sleep. /: It has to do with the fact that I slept 11 hours the day before and woke up at 7-something PM. I'm totally backwards, wasting my time day-by-day.
Arg, I need to do something productive. I can't stand myself.
But in other news, I thought, wtf, who did I kill? As I looked into my small pile of tissues, stained in red, I had forgotten I used it to dab excess paint.
Lol. Yet another person who assumed I wasn't from here. Maybe I look exotic somehow? I don't think so. xD I'm American!
Oh. Oh?
Hmmm...
Well, it couldn't hurt. (It very well could hurt, who am I kidding? LOL) Gotta get back out there and try, or I'll never know.
Good first conversation. :) That's all.
I fall unsure because I truly believe at this point that everything is my own fault and I don't deserve some company. Really, who am I kidding? Everyone else is "lucky" or something. Bah humbug.
You know you're afraid of the cold when you turn down 'all you can eat pancakes'. I ain't going to IHOP in this weather. My sickass is sleeping all day in warm covers. ._.
Can't believe I screwed myself out of doing anything today. xD I know I had went to bed early the other night. Got up early, went to do what I had to for the morning, like make breakfast. Told myself 'I'm only gonna take a small nap, I don't feel so good..."
Woke up at night. T_T Didn't make the calls I needed. Ate pizza and salad though. Who doesn't love waking up to pizza?
Ever skip night of sleep and end up feeling uber hyper? I'm like weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D
Working on a painting right now and feeling super, crazy, awesome. I can't wait till I crash because I need to help someone get up early tomorrow. xD
I missed watercolors so much I could just eat 'em up. Not literally. >.> I usually pull my best work when I'm restless. Going to include a small bit of ink.
Errr... I am nervous but I *need* to do it. I need to start calling places. Tuesday, maybe? I have everything bookmarked on here. I pray one of them will take me in. I'm not as moronic as most. My only flaw is not knowing more than one language. If they need that? I dunno, man.
It's going to be a shit job if I get it, but anything is better than most choices out there with less. I need my life to change, c'mon, I can change it for the best. Something will go right! I feel I deserve that much.
I have a question for anyone with a pierced septum- Do bigger rings make you want to cry when taking them out or putting them in? >.o
Cause the new one I got was smaller and gave me no problem at all, where as the original one I had when I first got my septum pierced, hurt like it hit a nerve every time it was put in/out.
I'm really happy with the one I got. It's a nice, plain black. I should have gotten more, but the other mini-store across where I got this one had even cooler ones, however, was closed. D: D:
I thought about going to a fancy body jewelry store in the village, then remembered that they jack up their prices. What I got for 4 bucks today would have been 8 or 10 bucks there. Seriously. Lol
The place I got my stuff was mini underground mall in China Town called Elizabeth Center. It has all sorts of anime related items or cute Asian tchotchkes. Depends on your taste and what you want. The store that was closed had a sale of 3 horseshoe rings for 5 bucks. Also had those cool little bells that you stick on your phone for 3 bucks. I want that. xD Even though I own no phone.
I got various foods to bring home and stocked up on art supplies using my winnings from the contest I entered last year. With only 25 bucks I got my special water color paint, a new small sketch pad and a few other things that I owe someone. I'm left with 5 dollars... and the want to buy one of their cool aprons. Which they didn't have. >: Damnit, I don't know why but I think aprons are sexy. >_> I want my lame art apron with their logo. xD
There's always next time! :) And boy, I can't wait to go back. I LOVE China Town.
COMMENTS
The smaller rings (I have a smooth segment ring) feel better in, but hurt to PUT in. I have a septum retainer (looks like it has prongs) and it's huge, and it hurts like a mo' fo'. Not comfortable at all.
So, yeah. The smaller the ring, the snugger the fit, but they usually hurt to put in because of the sharper corners.
Bigger the ring, it stretches (straightens) the actual piercing and it doesn't feel so great.
Not trying a segment ring any time soon. xD Thanks for the info. :P Smaller ring actually felt easier to put in for me.
The larger ones... oh man, it hurts. xP
Got back from the doctor's. The testing showed what it was. Nothing serious. :)
He took the bandage off himself, then felt it. Asked me if it hurt. Only when I bend my knee. (Which is why walking on steps has been the only thing hard for me.) His assistant re-dressed it. He said it's okay to get wet but don't submerge it in water (Sounds like a tattoo). I take the dressing off in a few days and come back to him in a few weeks.
It looked all bloody. o: Can't wait till it's healed! :D
I'm going to take it easy for at least one more week, then go about calling up for job training. Should be ready and set to take on anything. ;)
Don't ya hate when a pen bursts in your hand?
Mumble... there goes one piece of paper.
I'm not going to be on for long since it hurts more when walking and bending but I thought I'd come on when eating dinner. Waiting for what I took to kick in, I'm so out of it. No walking for a while is gonna drive me nuts. >.>
I only noticed now, as I took off my pants that one leg is orange. xD I have no idea what that stuff is.
I left out a few minor details in the last entry, they hadn't put me to sleep. The only reason why I slept a little was because I was relaxed and didn't sleep the night before. They numbed me and I didn't see what they did, since they covered my face with a sheet.
They gave me a choice between that or an epidural. I was like Hell No. Even if I end up pregnant one day, I'd NEVER get an epidural. Those damage your back and I like my back very much, every amount of pain is worth NOT having that done.
Also, the creepy part when one of the female surgeons said sorry if my hands are cold and connected one wire under my boob, where the ribs are. Like, wtf... xD YUCK! I'm sure she didn't mean that to be creepy but of course I found it so.
Sooo, passing out honor for the night and hopefully resting up. :P Thanks for everyone who wished me well.
COMMENTS
That orange stuff most likely is iodine used to disinfect before operations. Glad it went well Rose :)
For those of you who wanted to know how my cyst removal surgery went on my knee-
I don't think my ears were ready for their piercings to be taken out. We tried hard and got most out, except for the tongue that is.
Still not feeling well, everyone went out for the morning to help me on the way to the hospital. (I'm a little angry at sister for using this air freshener spray when she knows I've been having trouble breathing, but I figured if I die, at least it was on the way to the hospital.) The sky being a comfortable cool level, dark, with thick fog. The bus came, I went by public transportation. Mom, being the adult who was supposed to be with me. As an adult has to accompany me to the surgery room. Sister went off to school.
I waited and waited and waited...
It seemed like a few hours passed. Everyone else got their nurses explaining everything except me. >:
Then by the time the doctor was there, only THEN do they send me a nurse. Fucking dickheads. He uses a marker to mark the spot. They give me two wrist bands. One with my name, another explaining that I'm allergic to Iron pills.
They tell me to pee in a cup, then change into their hospital gowns. I have to take every article of clothing off. EVERYTHING, including my underwear. I'm left wearing two gowns, a hospital cap and their gray socks. Then it's off to the surgery room.
The room was bright. They stuck an IV in my arm. Saying it was hard to find a vein on me. Oxygen wire up my nose. Strapped me down on their table, told me to take off one gown. I wasn't exactly happy by that, since I'm not even wearing undies. D: My poor backside. lol Which was the least of my worries. I had wires all over my chest and one weird cold thing on my tummy. The chest part made me feel violated but then again, I'm half asleep with that IV in my arm. xD A little too late to fight back or be shy. (In fact, these button like things are still on my chest. I can't be bothered to take them off yet.)
They put a cuff thingie on one arm and leg, while they worked on the other leg. I fell asleep a little. Didn't feel a thing. They wrapped up my leg in this ace bandage then told me to slide onto a new bed so they could wheel me out to the recovery room.
I was awake when they moved me. Once at the room, they covered me with a blanket. Then said I was shivering, they got this heat machine to warm me up. I was connected to this other machine, with the wire being on my middle finger.
Mom showed up saying it was a bitch to get to me and stuck my tongue bars in my tongue. The right hole was closing up but she rammed it in and it's all well. They said I needed my rest and sent her back to the waiting room. She said I was up. Hell, even I said I was up and wanted to leave. But of course, the dicks made me wait. >.>
This Asian woman questioned me a bit. I'm not going to take the time to sort out who says what but I'm sure you can follow. How did you get here? By bus. Do you have a brother? No, I have a younger sister. How are you getting home? Someone driving or car service? No, I'll go by bus. You can't go home by bus! You're sick! What about your father? Hmm, I haven't seen him since I was 7, my parents are divorced. I don't know what was up with this lady but just because there aren't many males in my family doesn't mean the women don't kick ass and take care of each other. o.O
She asked me about my tongue piercings, I told her they almost closed up. They connected the IV to pain medication. Then after a while, she gave me a little juice and I felt so alive. I've been dying for a drink. x_x
They helped me off the bed. I sat down, got dressed. They said they called my mom but she was taking forever, according to them. Which I know was bullshit, they were being bitches and not helping her get around. I had to pee. By the time I got to take a piss, she came. I walked out to her.
Another nurse there asked if I wanted a wheel chair to get downstairs in. I said no, I can walk. Then they asked if I was taking car service. Mom said they were supposed to pay for my car service and blah, blah, blah. I just fucking had it, told the woman, SURE! :D We'll get car service. And don't you fuckin' know it, I told mom, NOT. LOL Then we both went out of the hospital instead of wasting our time.
Sure, I am not supposed to put pressure on this leg but I feel amazing ever since I had a few of their cakes and juices. It's all I've eaten today. Junk. Damn good junk. :P
They warned me that I'd feel ill but it was like, fuck it, I'm totally badass. We took the bus home. Can't begin to tell you how many people were going to bump into my bad leg, so I stuck my fist in front of my knee and anyone daring to slam their bag or whatnot, fucking fatass jerks that people are, they can regret wanting to hurt me and run into my gloves, spikes. ;) Cause fuck you people! :D
I made it home. Went to put in my industrial and the holes closed. :| I guess it was too early. So I fucking stuck those mother fuckers in. Then I had trouble getting my septum in. My head is pounding from my hurty piercing places. ;_; Shit will just have to re-heal. Think my favorite piercing by far is the tongue for being so easy. o:
My leg doesn't hurt so bad, least for now, but I need to rest. They said I can't get it wet and that I'll take it off by Friday. I should be getting a phone call tomorrow, asking how I am. Then by Thursday I'm going to see the doctor, to know the results of what it was that they took out.
I still feel like crap with a cold. Sister ticked me off but I shouldn't hold it against her annnnd I should take my pain meds soon. Otherwise, all went well. :) Now to heal!
Some things in life are like wanting a job. Not everything is appealing and not everything works out. To know what I want and what I don't want is entirely for my benefit. It's not being able to have what's hard to find that brings me down. A crave for something insignificant and a power of influence all at the same time. Time. People say you have all the time in the world, yet they're living happily ever after and sometimes, I do get jealous.
A career is better than a simple job, I guess is what I'm trying to say in an entry that goes no where. Though it's not the topic I'm dreaming of. And after a while, alone, you start to think you're wrong...
Sibling rivalry at it's best-
R- "You look like a redhead in that hat!"
D- "You're a black head!"
R- "Did you just call me a zit? LOL! Good one sis."
Has anyone ever been to the "No Pants Subway Ride", in NYC? I haven't, but it looks like a ton of laughs. xD
http://www.voiceplaces.com/no-pants-subway-ride-new-york-3929095-e/
Talking to someone about piercings for the hell of it. She was asking me which ones I wish I had. She asked about the eyebrow, labret, and bridge. I said, eww, super eww and mega eww. o: LOL Then she was all, what about your septum?!? I replied, it's pretty. :P I'm a picky brat. haha
They wanted to see my tatts but I was like, nah, too lazy. v_v
Heh, I was in a bad mood earlier. It's amazing what a long walk and 3 slices of pizza can do.
I'm like those grumpy cat memes. Someone told me about their break up and I said, "GOOD!" :D Cause I'm a bit bitter at most mushy conversations. I can't help it at the moment. Life sucketh!
Soooo my surgery is in a week. They said the inevitable, that I'll have to remove all my piercings. I'm worried about my tongue, everything else won't close up as fast. Please body, do your usual and heal slow. I swear, I'll end up pushing them through the hole anyway.
I should ask someone to slap me and say "WAKE THE FUCK UP!" after. xD So I can remember to stick them back in, lol.
COMMENTS
I've been trying to learn the numbers one through five in another language when it took me months to see I was doing it wrong. Right to left instead of left to right.
Questions to puzzle me- If I grew up learning something other than English, would I still be dyslexic in reading it, if it were "backwards"?
Another thing that has been on my mind. The other day someone was watching The Devil's Arithmetic. I've seen it many times but haven't questioned the title. Why are Jewish people in the movie calling people the devil, or telling people to go to hell? There is no such thing. Heh. (In their belief- No hell.)
This has nothing to do with the movie- I also find it funny that Anton LaVey, a Jewish man, made the "Church of Satan."
Random, random. >.> Had to get that out there.
It's so weird. When someone you grew up with is no longer around to talk to. When you can't begin to realize they're gone. No more words.
The funeral isn't being held here. Ah well.
Dates for me to remember this year- The Zine fest!! :D It's been YEARS since I went. Think the location is changed. Oh how I do love indie comics. ♥
http://www.brooklynzinefest.com/pages/about-us
So many ideas of what to do as far as job training goes. I wonder if I'll ever get it. They hire the most moronic, idiotic people out there daily, for years. When will I have a break in life?
I took the time to think about it- how hard would it be to help people when I help for free all the time? Sure, some situations might be much worse, but anything would be better than work at a local McDonald's. Food work has given me more nightmares than the thought of taking care of people. And no, I never have worked at McDonald's. Can't bring myself to do that.
Hell, I think I'd even like the idea of living in for days at a time to take care of someone. Would sure feel better than wasting my time at home feeling bored.
Some places say job training is 3 weeks, others say 4. Some want you to pay 40 bucks for books. I hope nothing much more after, I don't have much out of my pocket to spare.
The 14th should hurry up already. I'm tired of waiting on something in order to call up these places.
Tomorrow isn't going to be much fun. Possibly the last time I'll see someone... :/
It's been a really stressful start. I can't sleep, I need to go for a walk or have a nice hot shower. I'm in tears over something that hasn't even happened yet. I wish I could tell myself to get my act together but it's not that easy.
I had my little fun, for like, a few hours. I know my limits and it was quite nice at the end of New Years eve. A warm feeling. My writing didn't suffer at all. Hah!
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