The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Well well the plot thinkins ' lest see i hear from maggie as we talk about him she saw him look at me basilcy the look and she saw it therd person who told me this and she knows we got feelings for each other' and told me that she and rondy and john had a thing and he was more in to it from rodny then her so it proves acal right and that every one sees it and it proves that ist not me at all and this in no way is my falut and maggie figuerd it out from the fake person i told her and that its just becomeing true that he is not folling any one and every one give or take knows and its not because of me ect. so yet again i find this out and so on ' the end. ps if he really is gay then damn and if he bi it seems he likes men more then he thinks either way people know and its not my falut and if they all can figure we gota thing for each other then there is noting esle i can say but damn he had a threesome with maggie and rodny and he liked that more damn ' and so on so what ever and it is obuese how others see how we feel for each other nuff said.

Hmm lets see one i heard from stevein that he knew some things about john from mike and then he said and always thougt like every one esle that john is gay and that he saw how he looket at me' grr and that every one esle sees he is gay or bi and yet he cant or wont be with me. figures so as you all can see one and all sees it but yet he wants to fool others.



and lastly i am just angery and sad and this is where i am at ect.



and vinnie told me that john is going back out with missy waht ever so i could go on and on ect so there ya go.



the end . grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ect

today as i was sleeping i was haveing dreams of sleeping with fine dark skined man and we were getting it ' on and we had to hurry it up before mojos mom came in the room and after that it ended.





and then i had a dream of john not sure what happend if we had sex or no/ BUT iT was werid and so many other things happend in the dreams and now i am up.

today i came to my firends house in red bank mojo and i had so much much' and we talket about alot of things . and john was one of the topics and daycon and the kids and so on and basicly he saw a pic of him and said ya he gay , and his girl had like salce she learnd or something like 0 to 6 on how some one is gay and he is a 5 thow the sacle may be unsihinicetic scale but what ever the boy a furit and what ever , and now i got to bide my time is all and here i am now. but today is a fun filled day and that is all i need to say.

hmm well today is a fun day , i had a weird dream about grace' and so on and it was either about john or some one esle or every one and all i know is its werid and i so need get away from him for a day or so and daycon so i can think and this sis hwere i am at now but still teh dream of what i remember is weird,

Well guess ? apirl and who ever always thogut ' that john is either bi and or gay' and this is every one figured it out and me and april talket' and so on and she will not say any thing and so on and its drama' or hopefuly not .





and i could go on but he is is so obuesis apratly and so on so as i know its a crazy day,.





and acal said it will and or it may work out for us in any way this us where i am at now ect there is more details but for now , this is all i can say. and as i remember john doing something' sweet he offerd ro came to help mw with serving dinner with every one which was nice and him wnating em to sit down and relx before the ect and so on,. but then he will pis me me off ect that my could be bf.

well john telling me many more of his issues ' about his boder line perosnatly disorder ' and how he can turn in to psycho and how he can can get angery and not be a hole' and so on' and how his fathers family will keep tabs on him and so on. its always something '' and now with how me and my brother are i feel him more , and so on and yet love and hate him more and so on' and its always something etc,. and what ever and he be angering me and so on and i love and hate him.

and i get his pain more and so on. etc its always something. john keeps f ing kissing his ex and i talket to daycon and we were talking about how much longer till he comes here and i said do you want to even come here he said trust me he dose' but still' and we talket more.

but still its always something and john just pisses me off and i hate him and love him and i love and hate daycon for all this bs. john meanting how he hates lint and dust on some one and how its the gay man in him

and how he is related by marrige to berry manalow and how he has family that is gay or bi and what ever ect, and i am like to my self and yet you can admit all that gayness but yet can't be with me oh no that is to hard. and so on its just something that is always something dumb but.

that he is . and every one was like to john moveing on. ect/.

and talking about his drinking and druging and saying that was why he bruck up ' with his ex its always a mess.

wELL ME AND derick did a spell or ritaul to help thigsn go by '

well not so much, but still every one came and john was being his homo straght self talking about this bicth and the next pissing me off and dissinng my firend. and amkeing me angery and he said sit down and be cofty and the pissing me off again' then offering to help me with the pizza ' and yet bi have to f ing here about echo ' and how he tear her upp' and so on and now john doing sonething tht angers me and now i am pist at him and yet i love him derick and me haveinga talkm while i am drunk and here i am the same mess and so on. ect./ and john pissing me off ' and he ask me if my laptop runs ok and i said yes it dose' and me and derick were figureing shi out and its just one big mess , and the john being nice then angering me its always something and here i am now., and hee is asking heffer after heffer tyo come over grace's and he dose sweet stuff like wanting me to come sit down and so on but ect and john pissing me off an dnow my brother and now derick wants to go all i will eat you all over john and so on and this is where i am at . etc. so then john says something nice because he knotices derick is rageing and says for me that is to lay down , and then he keeps callin another ex of his, and then i am remmbering john being sweet but yte pissing me off and then derick also amd all i feel and all he feels si rage left and all we can do is controll it. and he we are now./ drunk and in rage. and john said the reason he did not asnwer my call becaise he was on pain killer s and drunk and smokeing and feel sleep and before i was haveing a disgussion with derick and john ask me if i was on the phone with one of my huneies and i said yes f it if he can do the same mness so can i . any way its just always something .. and john saying he is not afreid of his family and there views partly that is true but that bs ' because of his bi ness ,and billy pissing me off annd john made me lafhe at builly us expescne and that was sweet he ask me something billy said which was odd but what ever and i am like woo hoo and here we are now. well john is in pain and got in to two figits and cant even have sex for long and he said he was sorry for not calling me back' and i ask he if wants me to go with him to the hospital with him he said no he amy wants his brother to go with him he knows how to handle him

and he said he dose not want to bring that kind of druma in to my life which is sweet i know he cares but still

and if he cant have sec i will be here for him he dont know that,.

and then john thinks he may lose his arm and so on and its always something ect.

Well i wasa t graces today and we had dinner and we talket and had agreet time. and we went to get vinnie her fincae' any who he was telling us ' that johns new little firend that he broght to the party john wanted her to go home' and all i was just happy to here and i am so glad hope he don't bring her sunday to my house for dinner when he comes as will grace april and vinne and aprils date who ever that will.

any way thow johnacting the fool' i am happy to say daycon hopefuly will be here soon, and for that case he is doing better and makeing me feel the way i need to feel and i love my dragon wolf any way ' at leste he is doing right .

AND now its time for bed nite all.

Ok all here is some mess i just learnd a grace and april did you know what down south ' and i am like wooh' and they love each other and can't be together for many reasons . a because of there familys. and because they like men to much and . c because of there issues together and the loves.



and i get why grace and john hit it ' they may always love each other in some way , but they can't make it work for many reasons and i am not as sad or mad at john i am still mad but just not as much for now any way.



that said there all a mess and grace wanted to make love to apirl tonight nope and there drunk crying and what ever ' and as me and my twin were makeing sure we looket like we did not hear shit we were saying these games these humans play because of fears , and we mentdion john also ' and i get why he dose the mess he dose don't make it right but i get it. and why at times i have to be a wacther and not mix with to many people and sheild and so on of my self and why i get nervues sometimes.

in any case its sad and sweet in a way .



so i could go on but the idea of this story is this never let any ones issues stand in the way of love not ' even your family .



and love should never be a secrat/.





the end/.

ok peep this april thougt johns date ' was macking on her man.

and she wanted to talk to john about that mess, and also john came in to me and put his finger to his lips and hugd me and it was nice not like a fake guy hug but a real hug and said happy new year,.



also i said my phone will be on so call me in a couple days he said i will , and i left it at that .



then as john and april were talking about his date ' john said i would talk to you but have to go and make sure she gets home she lives in a nother state' and i got no other ride ' home ect and april said its just so you can get you know what' and he said i got ten numbers i could call for that and this man a gay man dose not want to here about that he was actuly being nice and sesative and bs ' and that was sweet ' and then pailr needed to talk to him' and i left and i am still mad at him but what ever he is trying to night not sure about this many tringal we are haveing i love him he may love me he loves every one esle' and i love daycon and will always love dilon so not sure what is poping ' but what ever i guess time wiill tell who knows? perhaps just perhaps dite is right time shale tell on him . and if she is and he really dos ehave teh feelings for me and we make it fine and if not what ever time will tell .



still hate him and mad at him and love him and want to hold him.

ect the end/ ps grace is all sad and pist , and mad at me for not hanging with every onbe well i know why now' and she mad at john for leaveing with that girl and now she giggling see its always something.



well mike thinks johns date is dumb and not very prety' and it made me feel better and now i found out' that grace and apirl got with each other and i am like wow ' and so on i could go on but there drunk and deprest and ' and weird and there never going out grace all deprest as a whole' and about john which makes me weirded out and so on , so now i know why i need my space so i can sheild and not get sucket in and keep me calm and not do this shit.

and now i some what feel guilty after haveing a destint time with john finlly ' and there grace and april never getting together figures there all deprest. what a new year heheh. crys .

Well had grace tell me she is sad , about john haveing a dame date ,. so am i ' and now since the damn ball dropet'' he was kising his f ing date ' and huged uo on her i would rather stay as far away from him and his date as i can ' i just wish i did not had to see ,that .



but i was mentaly any way in two places and i kissed dilon which was nice and i was danceing with horus and zeus and dilon ect and wishd my kids and mom and destiny and any one esle i could a happy new year in between being pist at john.

Well john came in to the room ' where i am at and was telling me about his date and how he is not use to haveing some one that big and all this and i had some commnets which i taylerd so i would not sound to weird . or foff handdish and i told him i am here and will sorport him and i am here in all things no matter what it is, . and so on even when thow i am mad at him and no matter what i am here basilcy. and he said i do not did mean to make any one angery '. he said and later his date came in to talk to me about her ask after she ask me if i likes systom of teh down ? and i said yes and so on and she said are you going' to be on yoru comp all night? i said which was tru i do not like big gruops i tend to like small gruops. and i get closterphopetic ' and so on she was nice and we talket a nd she said maybe you will come in later . maybe and its not that big , and after she left as nice as she was all i could do automatic was snal and his and al most go all dragonb and want to eat her thank gods i had some good sence not to ,.

Well i am at graces with my brother derick so far so good. but found out johns date's name and its ehco and i am heart broken more but what ever. who knows? all i know is am detemred to have fun and in am just done tonight worrying about him what ever happens happens? and i am glad me and daycon may havea real chance and maybe i need to be ahppy with that becaus eits something i been needing for a long time niff said for now.