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Well here I am to bitch again. I've gotten the day off. Had plans, and now I can hardly fucking walk. I've fucked up my back (yet again) now I'm stuck at home in bed, and just pissed off. So now I'm just hoping to be able to move around good enough in the next day to be able to go back to work. ok done bitching thanks for stopping by....

I now know what it feels like to be special to someone. I can't believe I've lived in this other darkness for so long. I've spent the past three years dead inside, well not anymore. I'm not faking it for those here any longer, if they were ever really my friends they should have been there for me. Maybe it was my fault, trying to make them happy I just allowed myself to get lost. No real blame, just sadness I have to let them go. Try to figure out if any of it was worth it. Now that I have a beautiful light showing me the way out I guess it shouldn't matter. What matters now is you, and even though I can't write like you, yea I suck with the cool words. I will always be true with you! I know now I never have to be fake happy again.. I AM HAPPY! Thank you my dearest love for showing me the way out of this final darkness and into your light!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!