The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

love hurts

when you let sum one in

you give them ur heart

only for to it 2 break into 2

to have the door slammed in ur face

love is painful and happy

but when the one u like

dosent like you that way

your stuck in limbo

unsure of what 2 do

but knowing each day you love

the more pain u endure

for the love you feel is not returned

love hurts

when you have tons to give

but no one to give it 2

love is like being born again

then it ends

you feel like u have died

love is good

loves is bad and then ur alone

wondering why love hurts so much

used and abused

lonely and cold

left in the dark like trash

waiting to be picked up

wondering is all i have to sexual

is thier more to me

the desire for sex strong

i give in all the time

to please waitng for my turn as well

used and discarded

with no thought bout feelings

used like meat

for everyones desire

but my own

as i am alone i think

do i deserve to be alone

do i deserve to be treated like trash

why can't i find someone who truly wants me

for more than just fwb

i loved to be loved and to give love

used and abused

my actions and words turned against me

wondering why

how can i make it better

when can i be happy

not sad and lonely

feeling alone and like trash

used and abused

when will i find the one

who accepts me for me

that does not judge me

for who or what i am

but goes by my personality

when will i find

my true love

who i can have forever

to hold to kiss

to be with

to share my soul and heart

when will i truly know

what all those other ppl i see know

feel what they feel

when will i get that experiance

i have waited forever it seems

when will i finally get that chance

it seems near but you can never be sure

when it truly is ur turn for love

for a soulmate

for some one to be with untill the end

Four years ago

i found out joyus news

i was pregnant i was happy

as the months went on and you grew

i felt you move i heard your heart beat

then i saw you on the monitor

i knew you would be my baby girl

i wanted you i prayed for u

at 6months they told me what i already knew

you were a girl.

as the time came you were born

i looked at you and i knew you had my heart

now as you get older you look like me

you act like me and i know you will be similar to me

your my baby my life my lil ariel

I found out bad news

at the same time as my happy news

my papa was dying

while i was growing a baby inside

i rushed home from florida

to see you to tell u i was having a baby

i was only home for a week

i got to see you once

in the afternoon

my instincts told me you wouldn't make it

at 8pm the nurse called and said it was almost time

she didn't think u would make it through the nite

we rushed to be by your side

i remember i told u i loved u

if i had a boy he would carry ur name

you faded so fast

at 10:26pm i knew u were gone before i was told that you were

papa why did u go so fast

i loved you with all my heart

i had the baby now its been 5 years now

you would have loved her but now u won't see her

lust it is hard to fight

when u get the feeling

you need some

anything will do

any place will suffice

lust

how do u control

human nature

wanting flesh

wanting sex

lust is hard to control

but very easy to feel

obssed with pleasure

obssed with pain

lust is a powerful antidote

to all of the above

COMMENTS

-

---

Eleanna
17:12 Mar 18 2010

Really like this on one of my favourite topics!lol

---

POST COMMENT

how do i control the urge

the urge to cut

the urge to bleed

how do get through the day without it

without spilling blood

without watching as it bleeds

without it i would not be whole

how do i change that part

so i do not scare those around

how do i keep my secret

from those who do not understand

who i am

what i am

how do do all these things at once and please everyone

how

another day

without cutting

its in my head

like a burning pain in my gut

its been 3 weeks since my last cut

i think about

i don't want to do it

i just cant help it

the cutting is bad i know

i want to do it

for now its under control

as long as i am happy i won't

but the feeling still remains

the urge is trong

how can i stop

when the evilness rears

theres no stopping it the addiction to pain to blood

is strong

another day without

lets celebrate

who knows when ill slip

do it again

see the blood run and feel relieved as the cut grows one day at a time ill stop

COMMENTS

-

---

vampirevixen25
19:09 Mar 17 2010

please don't judge me based on this poem i have been growing as a person fighting a battle i am not crazy or anything just hurt and have no way to express my pain.

---

POST COMMENT

the day u died

was the day i cried

the day we visited you

was the day i felt like it was hell

the day we all picked your headstone

was the day i went numb

numb to feeling

numb to love

the day of ur funeral

was the day my heart broke

i never felt i could be whole againeach day after that

i got colder and harder

then christmas came and ill i wanted was to see u it happend for a fewmins

then my heart broke

i knew i would never see you again

then before i knew it it was ur death anniversary

i cried and stared out the window

now i write this poem upon another anniversary

14 years ago feb 9th 1997

you left my life and i left yours

the day you died changed my life

for good or bad don't know

i remember that day like it was yesterday

do u remember me

do u love me still

no matter my mistakes

do u know who i am

or is the last memory you have of me

febuary 8th

when i cried upset about something stupid

do u remember you kept me alive

when i was little

do u remeber how i loved you

where u there when ur souls left ur body

do u remember being at peace

or were u still hurting

did u see me upset and crying

do u remember anything

are you at peace now

do u know where we go from here

do u know how much i miss u

how much i love you

do u wish you could see me

tell me what i am doing wrong or right

do u remember me at all

or am i the only one who does

remember you my grandma , my friend, my mama do u remember at all

fourteen years ago

you died

you left the world of the living

now its almost time to remember

your death your life

i still asked the question i asked then

why did u have to leave

why couldn't u have stayed a lil longer

you never got to see me grow up

you never saw me have a baby

i can't tell anymore if ur around

i feel so empty like u left for good

14 years ago u took my heart

grandma i needed you then

i need you now as well

14 years ago a light went out

let me know ur still here

help me with life and love

show me the right way

i don't want to be with out your love

like i was 14 years ago

when you left me for good, so i miss u and i always miss u no matter when i see you again or not

darkness when it comes it so surreal out of day when no one is watching or waiting it creeps up through when u realize its night its too late to stop the feelings of hunger and happiness as you know u our gonna feed tonigte for u to live sumone must die as you go out u think of everything realizing that the darkness is your cover so darkness is your friend when everyone else fears it you love it