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when i was 12, i had sex for the first time.i got pregnant for the first time. my mom didn't even know i was pregnant , the father denyed the fact that i was.he told me he didn't want any thing to do with me or the baby.9 months go by and on march 29th,1999 i gav birth to my son,riley-james matthew-jacob johnson. after i gave birth i called up the father and said i couldn't take care of him.the guy said he would come pick him up the next day from the hospital and take him home with him.for three years they lived up in hudson florida.when my son turned 4 they moved to minnisota to live with his new wife.two years went by and i only got to talk to my son on the phone .so when he turned 6 i was able to see him .him and his dad n his dads new wife were down in hudson visting family members. i went up there with my friend ,who helped me out through out my whole pregnancey, we got up there and i was able to see my son after 4 years. he came running up to me saying mommy over and over again. well that was a couple months ago. on july 23rd i got a call from his fathers wife saying that they got into a car accident and they died on impact.i cryed for the next three days. losing my son was the hardest thing to ever happen to me.i will miss him soo much.

you scream at me for something so little

i feel so different from you

like we are two totally different women living

in the same house but

living so far apart



growing up you were my best friend

now that i am older

we lost all that we had



growing up from what i remember

having no father

you were both and you always will be both



in my heart you have been

in my head you will stay

but in my live you wont leave



i cryed over bf after bf

you never did comforted me

i turned to food for what i needed from you



i get new friends you get uoset or mad when

i want to get away from here and hang out with them

why can't you see i need my space

i need room to grow and

learn from my mistakes not yours

i'm not like you.so i wont have the same mistakes



ket me learn my own way

let me grow up

let me live my own life

let me be myself