The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

So very true. And still even the educated would try to tell you or condem you for your choices with a loved one.



My family went through this with my Grandfather as he had a DNR. What the nurses at the home didn't understand that was our entire family is medical family (with the exception of my grandfather) so health and what we want were all discussed at length. I remember a nurse arguing with my mother that what DNR meant was that we were to watch my Grandfather die by suffocation and starvation because in her mind having him comfortable meant keeping him alive.



What she also didn't understand was that every person in the room including my Grandfather could understand her. Yet she persisted until we made moves to get her fired/shift changed if she could not hold her tongue.



Death is never an "easy" situation, and it brings out the worst in many people. You are correct you would have to answer to a higher power in that it sounds like you were someone called into the field- or if I say it less spiritually, the field choose you. Know that you have the respect of so many of us, even with Dr. Kevorkian having taken the issue into the public- he did disservice by not educating well enough. Yet for our animals we more than understand the need to let go in a manner that is painless and with compassion.



Stand strong by what you do, for you are a shining example of what is right in the world, and how if put in a situation- I would personally choose to go.

You hit the nail right on the head hon...these people cannot stand to think about mortality. My ward has sometimes called upon the services of people trained as you are yourself....we believe them to be Angels, I have never heard one member of staff say otherwise.

People will demonize you no matter what you do. At least you have the tact to not respond angrily. I'd have been more likely to yell at them and explain why they're wrong, what's wrong with their precious (granny/mother/etc.), and why they should shut the hell up. They'll have plenty of time to grieve when she's DEAD.

In the end, the only person's opinion that counts is your patient and you know in your heart you are doing the right thing. That is the thought you have to latch onto when the criticism is thrown at you. It can't be easy hearing those things but you are doing the work you were intended for and as it should be done.

Hospice is there to do the job that the family can't bring themselves to do. provide aid and comfort to a person in the end stage of a terminal illness.

that is far from being a mercy killer.

there are drugs for that. i give you high praise for being there.

hugs sweetie.

I've had two elderly neighbors, both female, with whom I had deep discussions. One had never had children, and the other had two grown daughters. Both were physically challenged, but very sharp mentally. The both remembered the Depression. One woman's parents had put she and her sibs in an orphanage while they sought work. This was common then, but the first I'd heard of it. After they got jobs and saved up some money, their parents retrieved them.



The other woman came to California in the forties, post WWII. It was a paradise then.



Both of them had issues with marital sex, kind of something they put up with. They'd both experienced childhood molestation, too.



During the Depression, the gov't authorized the WPA to collect life histories. You can search here by state: http://lcweb2.loc.gov/wpaintro/wpahome.html

oh wow that is amazing. i love conversations like that. i bet you learned so much!

.. my Dad was in the homeguard at 14.

Rode a motorbike like Steve McQueen, in Great Escape.. yet he is such a quet, diligent man.

..Different people, diffeent times.. so many great stories to hear, if we shut up and listen.

I believe a big part of your job is being wise and strong enough to admit you cannot fix the world. You are not the band-aid for everyone else's pain.



And the ability to forgive yourself for this.



I'm sure you do a wonderful job for people who are quite often blinded by the sorrow and grief of their circumstances...



They might not be able to see it... so you need to see it for yourself.

oh, i know this is late but i am so sorry.

you know she never would have been.

we never are...even when we know.

Thank you for reminding me, i need that every now and then.

There is rarely "being ready" for that.



I watched my grandmother slowly die over the course of a year. I knew what she had... I knew it was inevitable. I knew when I left the hospital that night it might have been the last night I sat with her.



She died the next morning while we all sat by her side.



There was no being ready.



Acceptant, yes.



Ready?



Never...

There isn't a getting ready for that time. You can tell a person point blank death is coming and it still will not prepare them. Our hospice has 11th hour volunteers and all of them say even though you know the moment is there- it's their whole purpose in being there- it's still a gut -punch when it happens. You make the best possible in a worse case situation, no one could ask or hope for any more.

May i ask what you do for a living? i'm quite curious. . . .

You're the luckiest unlucky person I've ever met. :)

I don't know how I would ever handle your job...



...you are an angel....

It is tough to walk away, but we know we have to. Watching and sitting with my grandfather as he was under hospice care for his bone cancer, it was very very hard as each day, another part of him would die, and yet now again I am doing the same things with both my grandmothers. it makes me wonder is it easier with someone you don't know personally?

i wouldn't say easier, more along the lines of you know that everyone there has a harder job than you do. it makes it easier to focus on what needs to be done for your people, and that includes each family member, whatever their grief process is.

I know with my grandfather, he held on until we were all there. He retold me every trip we took when i was a child, and made sure I knew that I was always the apple of his eye.