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I don't want to lose it, but I fear that I already have. I want to say that I wish the best, but I also want what I want. Is it so hard to accept?

goodbye.



-Lilly.

Due to some other foreseen annoyances, I will be logging out of the VR today to never log back in for a long time. Leave a message if you will, I might pop on every now and again, but I will no longer be looking here often. You can contact me by yahoo amberu_chan or email babegurl2001116@hotmail.com

COMMENTS

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Fizbop
23:09 Oct 23 2009

get back on a normal ruteen

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POST COMMENT

You're full of it! What the hell are you thinking?

The door stood open, yet she sat there looking toward the blinding light as if something was going to come out of it and grab her. She shook trying to hide from the open door, but it was there not leaving one bit. The room she had built, been so accostumed too was now not her home anymore. It had housed her for a good long time, but it was time to take the door and run.



She looked back at him, as he sat there playing with his cards almost daring her to run. In his eyes there was some sort of mystery, a note of wonderment and then a thought of knowing. She smiled at him, and stood up on shaking legs.



"I know you..." he leaned forward eyeing her and glancing at the door. There was a note of curiosity as well as the smell of fear. He feared her, and knew that part of this was his fault.



"You don't know me at all." She stood there getting her footing as the chains around her arms and legs began to fall away.



"I know you better than you are willing to admit." He smiled broadly, and then it disappeared in a second the moment she had made it to the door frame so close to the outside world and the light it possessed.



"You know me better than I am willing to admit or you wish you could know me better than anyone else? You're not making much sense, but I guess that comes with a territory of someone that is so willing to give everything up."



With that she walked out the door, hearing him yell for her to come back and yet she wouldn't. This world had so much more to hold for her, and not one man was going to hold her down to keep her from reaching what happiness meant to her.



'Sometimes you've got to take into account your own mannerisms before you start striking other's down.'

I often wonder sometimes what it would be like to re-write the past and change the future. I often wonder what it would of been like to spend all my life in Kansas, would I be much changed? Or would I have learned different life lessons that would have made me stronger?



I wonder what would of happened if I would of gotten pregnant last year, would I be happy now? Not that I would rest my happiness on a child, that's not fair.



I wonder sometimes what it would be like to never existed at all, would it change anything in this world? Sometimes I think so, and other times I think not. Yet, these are just random things that pop into my head and dance around.