The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Happy Halloween!
18:14 Oct 31 2007
Times Read: 588

YAY! I love this holiday, I always have so much fun. I got through my Digital photography class without feeling like i should use Laser vision on my teacher. I took lots of pictures of Lexi, he is like my new favorite model. He has a beauty in him, that he just doesn't realize. I have gone through pictures and each time I do, I feel as if I am seeing my friends in a different light. I see the beauty in them, that seems people ignore. There is a beauty in their smiles, when they really do. The look in their eyes is a shine of their personalities. I enjoy bringing to life what is so unique about each of them. I wish that I had a reason to become professional with it. I wish that with the time that they spend with me that they would, somehow heal from it. I don't know, but I believe that there is a purpose to those photo sessions and with each pose or even me making them think of making different expressions is fun.



I have grown somewhat in my photography, never before did I see so much art in it. I'm particular on how I do things. I want to get better and I pray that it will be so. Yet, I find that my writing is coming along well. I have started a series that I will post, called "Bible thumper a series over too much christainity" There will be a chapter for each book of the bible. I can only hope to keep up with it. Maybe I'll get it published, maybe I won't. I enjoy writing just to do so.

*Choke*
16:42 Oct 30 2007
Times Read: 594

Have you ever gone onto someone's page and felt darkness raidating off of the page? Not from just the person, but the words they speak. The darkness is much more attractive than the light sometimes. It draws you in with pretty words and intelligence beyond measure. It's a pain though, and you'll suffer for your knowledge. Not the general knowledge, but the darkness that you bring.



I felt like I was choking on it, when I looked at this profile and it was if I couldn't breathe beyond measure. Juana, pray for me.

RETREAT! RETREAT!
04:51 Oct 30 2007
Times Read: 595

I feel so out of it, I don't understand what is going on. I feel like the floor has finally dropped out from under me and I'm spiraling up? I don't feel like i'm going down, just up. I finally decided to pick one stand or the other. Am I christain or am I pagan?



The answer is I'm christian...so here goes...I give up all this supernatural stuff. It's causing me more pain than what it's worth. The Taro cards must go away and so must the past with it.



Don't ask me exactly what happened. I can grow without them. Cards only tell yo half the truth, not everything. They aren't even real, they aren't as real as God. I must retreat! RETREAT!

Things
17:43 Oct 27 2007
Times Read: 600

I realize how much I miss being at home with my siblings again. Things were alot simpler for me atleast. I went to school and they went to school. I never have ever gotten to know my brother, but what does it matter right? Maybe the reason I reach out to having guys as brothers is because I never had alot of testosterone in my life as a child.



I never really had that close relationship with my brother, but I would not trade the times I had with my older sister. We aren't close anymore, but our lives are just so different. It's hard to see each other and be close when I live a state away. I want my kids to grow up around their aunts, uncles, and cousins. I never had that as a child and I want them to have things that I never had.



I think it's important to have family close, even if it's Arthur's family that we stay real close to. I want to have my kids around extended family. They need to know whom they belong to. I don't even know if I will have children, and I'm also too young to have them. I plan on not having any for some time. Infact I don't know why I am talking about children, I haven't even made it to getting married.



I'm not far from it though, just a year or so and I will have something. I believe I will have a ring, and I hope and pray about it alot. But, anyways this entry is alittle depressing, have to go. see you.

Funny
16:34 Oct 21 2007
Times Read: 619

I haven't really been on for the last three days because I have had to take a deal with wedding stuffs. Pictures will be posted later...I was in the wedding and on Thursday we were doing favors.



We did bubbles and joked around, but before I left a woman that had been helping read my palm. It was amazing and exciting at the sametime because I have never had that done before. I am a rather open minded person, so when she started saying things that had everything to do with me, I was so surprised. I have never had someone that didn't know anything about me, know so much. It was cool.



So, on we went to the rehearsal dinner that was on Friday, it was crazy decorating. Arthur helped so much and it made all the difference to have him there. We left at about 10 at night and went to a appartment warming party. Had lots of fun there, were his friend Angela was asking about the wedding.



Then came the wedding day, i got my hair done by the lady that cuts it. She did my hair for senior prom and I knew that I could trust her. I don't think I'll go to anyone else. She is just the best that I can find. I like Arthur's sister but she isn't my Natasha! :D



Anyways, at the wedding we had the marriage lincense lost for a bit, had to get ready in a hurry. I did my best friend Maily's make-up and got compliments from all around. I just love playing with eye make-up. ^.^



I also did her hair, and she wore a dress that I had worn to another wedding we attended in September. Anyways, so wedding is about 15 minutes long, and pictures last forever. My mom, Arthur and Maily had been sitting in the reception area forever, when Maily came out to see what was up. She ended up taking pictures with the wedding party, because Maily is special to our Tarabear.



So, after that, I had snuck off to get something to eat when it was time to do the flower toss and garder throw. So, we do a one throw for the camera and of course I didn't go for it. Then she throws it again, the flowers come right at me. I reach up and catch it, but another girl had jumped to get it and almost tackled me. I thought she was going to kill me!



Then the garder comes up, Arthur stands toward the back and catches it. If it isn't fate that we marry then I don't know what that was yesterday! I mean crazy. Then after the gifts are handed out, it takes alot of time for us to clean up. I don't know if I ever want to be in a wedding for a long time. I don't remember cleaning so much when I was in my sister's wedding. Maybe it's because I was like 12 at the time. But JEEZE!



I'm glad we accomplished all of it, it was a great time anyways. No dancing though. Made me so sad that I didn't have time to shake a leg. :P

Reminders
15:40 Oct 16 2007
Times Read: 634






I love music, because it always reminds me of memories that otherwise would not ever return. Lifehouse is such a good band, their lyrical style makes me happy. So, one of my favorite songs by them is blind.



One reason is because when the song first came out...my boyfriend and I were having a hard time defining our feelings. Well, more so him than anything else. He refused to see just how much I loved him and cared. I wanted desperately for him to say 'I love you.' It was hard waiting for it too.



I was often coupled with the fact that maybe he just didn't want to see it. I mean I felt like I was emotionally investing more and he didn't see it. So blind was my song for him and I. Then after a while it changed to being my ex-best friend and I's song. Because she never saw how much I cared about her, until I had to leave our friendship behind.



She has told me that she regrets ever doing the things she did, but I can't do too much for her. So I wanted to share a musical experience with you.



Here are the lyrics for Blind, by Lifehouse.



I was young but I wasn't naive

I watched helpless as you turned around to leave

And still I have the pain I have to carry

A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried



After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go



I would fall asleep

Only in hopes of dreaming

That everything would be like is was before

But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting

They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor



After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me died when I let you go



After all this time

Would you ever wanna leave it

Maybe you could not believe it

That my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you will ever know

A part of me died when I let you go

And I loved you more than you'll ever know

A part of me dies when I let you go

Vulgarity
17:45 Oct 15 2007
Times Read: 642

Juana, when did I have some tattoo on my face that said that I like to talk about sex to strangers? I don't know when I got it, but I think I need to find someway to get rid of it. I keep getting messages from guys that want to know everything that happens with me between the sheets. I am not the type of girl to disclose that information to just anyone. What in the world is wrong with these guys? I mean the most I will allow is if I've kissed a boy, or if I'm straight or not.



I mean if I was going to say anything, I would start the conversation. I've shared my sexual experiences with a total of 3 people on here and that's because we got to know each other alot. I didn't just start in with asking about sexual antics. That's just not me. I do like to share, but I draw the line at certain areas.



I'm not a trashy, spread your legs everywhere to anyone girl. So why do they think it's okay to treat me as such? I only let like three guys in my life call me baby. I don't like it when someone else I don't know does it. The only people that are allowed are Tyler, Ryu and Arthur. There is no other guy that I will allow. Sweetheart and honey are reserved for close friends...I guess I'm a prude. I just don't like to discuss such matters with strange guys.

Drunken memories
18:15 Oct 14 2007
Times Read: 647

It is cool that we have so much in common that we can be friends, and I know that we will be friends for a long time. Maybe after you find someone to be there for you like I am there for my love, you will forget about me in the way that you see me. I will just be a good friend and nothing more. Then we will share this drunken memory of your confession as something to laugh about and think how curel it was for me to ask.

Too much time...
16:06 Oct 11 2007
Times Read: 655

Apparently Juana...I have way too much time on my hands....I have decided to make a character that I will dress up as for myspace. It's sort of a test to see if people really want the real and original or the fake and extrodinary. Because in essence it's still me, I'm just dramatizing everything up.



After my first pay check I will be buying myself some wigs. I think I will do pink for a while, then purple... I also have to get some clothing and some fake piercings. ^.^ I've always wanted to do something like that. I wanted to get snake bites for a while, but I don't think I could handle the piercings through the lips, or even that my boyfriend could.



Hmmm...This will be interesting Jauna..I am an Author and it's like putting my work out into the real world. I have a name for this character, but I will not give it away...I also need to buy some really crazy make up. I wanna make this character look almost unreal. I want her to look completely different from me, which means I have to figure out how to do make-up that looks strange. LOL!



You'll see Juana, and after I get it out of my system, the experiment done. I will post the results here and then delete the account on myspace. I think I'll do it for a month or two. Possibly more...who knows right? lol!

Headache
22:06 Oct 04 2007
Times Read: 674

Retards on this planet are starting to give me a headache.. Why is it that we have so many on this earth, Juana?



Sometimes I believe you were lucky to of already left this place. Sometimes I'm mad because you didn't take me with you. But, I guess there are reasons why it's best that I stay.



I guess I'll take a nap, so then I can take retards better.

:P on biting.
06:41 Oct 04 2007
Times Read: 676






A woman with the features of a girl approaches you, leaning into you heavily, almost as if she was drunk. She smiles at you casually, hiding her intent. She caresses the side of your face, bringing your attention to her eyes captivating you in her spell.







With one smile, her fangs glint in the moonlight before you know it. It's too late and her fangs have sank into your neck. The blood from you bleeds from your throat like a fountain.







She catches what drips into her hands, as if it is a precious flower, drinking what she can. When she is sure that you are through, she turns and leaves.







The last thing you see of her as you slip into darkness, your blood being painted across a wall with her fingers.





Yeah it's a bite that you want! I'll give it to you!

So very sleepy
15:41 Oct 01 2007
Times Read: 686

So, it's a Monday morning and I'm so tired! I shouldn't be, I got atleast 8 hours of sleep. I should know...I passed out and didn't wake up until my alarm went off. But, oh well, I'll just go to sleep earlier tonight. I don't know when though...



I am running a pumpkin patch at church tonight, to sort of fund me going on a mission trip. I really do hope people come by and buy some. It would make me extremely happy to have some money roll in for that. Also, it would help the church out alot.



I will be running it all this week, even on Saturday, were I will spend 4 hours of my life. I hope that will help. I'm bringing homework to pass the time. Then not only that my best friend, Maily is going to be there with me. So, I think we'll have a fun time.



I feel so happy right now, because I took some amazing pictures of my friend Bre-sama. He is such a pretty guy, and he doesn't even realize it. My photography port is growing so rapidly. I'm sitting at about 200 pictures of different models and friends.



My mom has even started to notice my talent, yet even as I improve I can see that if I took that as a career path...I might be in serious trouble. Yet, I do have my computer and writing skills to fall back on. I am not going to take that so unrealisticly....



Anyways...Juana...I think this entry is done.