Sleeping you lost your past,
Or so you thought you had at last.
Car crashes, they can drive you away
But you forgot it all that day.
You crashed and burned and forgot me,
The last of bad, no longer caught me.
A name, is all you got out of it,
The demons of your past, no longer admit.
You lost me, or at least you thought that,
But lies are something, you're good at.
So, all those thoughts lost in your mind,
About the days you were so unkind.
When you used to use me oh so well,
And yet my memories still dwell.
Don't you remember how you sold your soul?
Just so I could be a control.
We used to be such great friends,
And yet we haven't made ammends.
No, not yet I don't think I'm ready.
My thoughts of you were rather unsteady.
You forgot, you keep telling me that,
But fiction has always been your fact.
So, why should I believe you now?
That a crash could make you forget somehow?
You remember my name, I know that much,
Don't you remember how I felt, when we touch?
Oh the days of when we trusted,
Are so long ago, becoming diamond encrusted.
A crash, a burn, the thoughts don't last.
Even if you think you can get away, I am your past.
Lonely, I watch you from a far,
I watch as there be made a new scar.
The look on your face is quiet painful,
Yet, I find myself being restrainful.
Words flow from you as if to heal,
Imagining as you try to make that heart steel.
I feel my pain mirrored a thousand times,
And I wonder what were our crimes?
I am but a stranger, yet I feel
As if your pain was mine to heal.
We've talked, and awkwardness I felt
Yet, I feel as if fate was cruelly dealt.
Maybe I am one made of soft heart,
But somehow those words you speak gives me a part.
This one's for you Ms. October, and your pain
But, I believe in you and there will be more to gain.
I'm hopeful that depression you're in,
Will be a memory, a past sin.
Someday, you'll have your happiness, I believe.
But these visions are not just for me to concieve.
This heart of mine isn't big enough for two,
But for two people, one can only do.
I feel myself turn to one, then the other
But neither one knows how I feel about one another.
I am deeply in love with one,
But the other one makes me come undone.
I falter in my steps toward bliss,
To see what I would miss.
But, I rationalize he wasn't there
Yet in him I find things i can share.
I wonder why I have two precious people in my life,
When my affections cuts at my heart like a knife.
I can't make my heart split from one to two,
So, for one it's through.
I stood at the end and looked back,
Not sure of what, or when to attack.
My mind stripped of it's contentment,
As you make comments about commitment.
You are so sure, because of a ring
That love is truer, than blue birds sing.
You stake your claim, and recollect,
That there is nothing in me to reflect.
You think that my bonds will not hold true,
That there is so much more to you.
You use your lover as a stone,
So, that I will end up all alone.
Yet, there is so much more to me,
Than what is infront to see.
I never throw stones, and cast blame
I never lay down lines, and throw shame.
I don't fight with lips closed,
I fight with soul exposed.
I've never made a decision on a whim,
Or gave problems a size, big to slim.
I never said my problems amounted more,
I never had evil intent at my core.
My words, my life's breath and soul
Is something I won't stop, or control.
I came to you, months ago
Hoping that my fears could go.
I didn't want a problem with you and I,
But months later my reasonings defy.
A problem you sought to complain,
Was how the words came out and lain.
Like draggers you cut at me,
And all I wanted was to let it be.
But, so my peace I give anyway.
I would rather just have it, than be heresay.
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