The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am borrowing the new MSI cd. Oh, happy day!!!



So. Hello. I am not liking some of the new additions to this site. Some of them are so. . . ignorant. I just want to rip off their heads. And stick them in a fish bowl. And feed them to my fishes and maggots while they eat them alive with their. . . lips. Maggots have teeth, yes? They are really small. It will take them longer to kill them. Even though they would already be decapitated. o.O yes. I make sense.



FEEL HONORED!!!!



I think my Slinky is sick. I tried to feed him a rat but he just stared at it and slithered away from it. I named the lucky rat Chewbaca because his fur looks like his. I think I will keep him as a pet as well. ^__^ Yip.



mmm, now I go back to doing nothing again. Aww the joys of the 21st century.

What am I without my energy drinks and candy?



Nothing, kupo. Nothing.

I've been listening to a lot of Misfits lately. It is very calming to me for some reason. I love Graves' voice. -sways-



Don't you hate those feelings of...sadness that come over a dumb thing that most people would not find sad or disrespectful in anyway? Well I get those. A lot. And well. I was talking to Deven on the phone tonite and he said something that just made me feel... empty. And I dont know why. I know he didn't mean to hurt me but it did. And I didn't want to say anything because I mean thats just kinda rude when you think about it. It's like "You hurt my feelings because I can't handle when you compliment another person".



I really need to lay off. I need to get over my jealousy. I need to get over my broken heart. It's like ... someone said. This is a really fucked up version of it, but its basically what he/she/it said::



"Love is like glass. It's beautiful at first. Then it breaks. You glue it together again. The more you break it, the less it mends together again. Eventually it comes to a point where it cant be fixed again"



Yeah, that was a fucked up version of it, but you get the point, right? I wish I could find out where I heard that from. I ponder.



Sometimes I feel so vulnerable. Like one little thing somebody says can just ruin my day. I wish I didn't have to be so vulnerable. I wish I could walk a life where nothing bothered me. Where no one else influenced how my day would turn out except me. But it is far too late for that.



It's funny how this band sings. They write about some of the most graphic lyrics about killing people, yet it sounds so peaceful. You read the lyrics and you think it will be some heavy metal shit. But its not. I love that.



Okee, enough for now. Have a good night to whoever reads this. I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow.



-eep-

I've been up for 2 hours when I didn't even have to. What the hell is up with that? Yeah, I dont know either.



I'm started to get into my habit of sitting online every free minute I have. From what I know, I dont think that it is a good thing. o.O bleh.



I'm noticing more people are on this site. Like, a lot more. I think that's a good thing. o.O



I really wish my 15 message limit would go away. One more level. . . . -bleh-







So I was looking through this one site when I found this girl. She looked so innocent. Then I read her profile and she was just as she looked. . . she didn't cuss, didnt talk bad about anybody, seemed loving, forgiving, a virgin, only had 1 boyfriend that wasnt that serious, a christian, a daddy's girl, straight A's. Everything you associate innocence with is what she is. Then I started thinking. Why am I not like her? Why did she have to grow up right when I didn't? What makes her more worthy of being a better person than me? She was about 3 days younger than me, and yet she seemed from another world. Like, she has been caught into this little world of hers that her parents keep her in. They dont let her see the world. And you know, the day she gets sent out to the real world and opens her eyes, is the day she will crack. There is another world out there. Worse than she'll ever know. And until that day she will live as good as she does. But that day will come. And when it does, that will be the end of her caged world. . .



Wow I repeat myself a lot. X_x

I didn't bother going to school today. Too much. . .shit. I layed around all day. I wrote a story, slept in, and watched pointless television shows.



Now is that the life, or not?



I'd say it is not. o.O Bleh.



Rotten.com makes me laugh. Why is that so?

I'm about to crack . . .

I absolutely love this site. I've met more friends here than I have in a year. Thanks to everyone that is so friendly and accepting.



Today I basically laid around. I went to McDonalds to visit my friend Deven. He wanted out so bad. Hah. A lot of people look down on him. The owner doesnt care that he keeps all of his piercings and makeup on. So here he is with all of this makeup and piercings, and wearing a red and yellow shirt. Doesnt really fit. Poor guy.



I painting my fingernails green. I dont know if I like it. I dont think I do. Fuck.



....o.O

There goes another night down the drain.



Fuck me.

Why does it have to be so bloody hot in here? It is so hot. These drunk bastards outside of my apartment keep banging on trash cans singing Sweet Home Alabama. It is really getting on my nerves. I hate my fucking neighbors. Why do I have to live in this shithole? Once I get my band started things will fucking change. At least I hope. I could move out of here and be at least a smidge happier. I hate being a poor piece of shit. It gets to someone really fast.



You know what I feel like? A bottle of Jack Daniels. My mom gets off of work at 3am tonight so I have 2 more hours to get just as fucked up as these neighbors of mine. But no that wont solve anything, will it? It will just make everything worse. Of course.



When something seems like a good idea it never really is.



Never.



I need to call someone. Get someone over here. But one problem. I HAVE NO FUCKING FRIENDS. Maybe thats for the best. Who needs lying, using pieces of shit anyway. I sure as hell dont.

I've never felt so drowsy in my life.



It's a really really weird numb feeling.



.............................................................



Makes me wonder.

Last night was very depressing for me. I don't exactly know what triggered it. I guess it was the feeling of being alone in this world. I like being alone but at the same time it can get to me. And when it hits, it hits hard. My 17th birthday is coming up soon and it will be the second straight year I have been alone.

I really need to meet new people. I'm trying to go to clubs and meet people but they all just look down on me. I'm not sure why but it seems like no one wants to even be seen with me. What is so awful about me? Why don't they acknowledge that I'm even there? For a town that is known for accepting people, it doesn't really live up to what people talk about. But that's all it is anyway. Big fat talk.



What the fuck ever, guys. I try to be nice to you at school, elsewhere. And all I ever get is shutdown. Well you know some day you will want to be accepted and you won't be. Just see what its like then. It hurts. Especially when you are ALL ALONE. It feels like I am the only one who thinks this way, who lives this way. And you know, I probably am. Whatever. I give up caring.

I am quite new to this site, I'm hoping to meet new friends who aren't complete idiots. Hopefully I meet a few. o.-



Mmm, I have nothing left to say. So boring. Yet...so not.