Gods my emotions have been all over the place in the past 24 hours it seems. My summer
classes really took an extreme toll on me, mentally, emotionally and physically. Of course other things
in the mix of it all, making it a nice ball of tension at times. Things were seeming to be
so awesome yesterday, then, mis~communication took it's toll. I am certain that is straightened
out? Maybe not. My lack of confidence may be half the battle there. I knew grades were due in by today.
You can never go by the actual grade book as it sometimes changes. I was expecting to half to
suck it up and get a C in microbiology. I, along with the rest of the class struggled. I told
the Prof. that I do not fare well to what my grade had been showing. I worked so hard and could
not get out of there. I ended up with a B. My math class, before the final I had an 85% going.
I was fine with that. I thought I did pretty good on the final. I literally bombed it. My % went
to a 78. I am still not over it, but he gave me a B anyway. I am a blubbering and silly person,
gah.I have always been able to bite my lip and hold shit in. Just not happening for me right now.
What sucks is I am venting in a journal, instead of to someone that is listening and holding me..
I know, I suck.
When it comes to clothing and accessories, I am really not super picky. I don't care about designer or brand names. And I do not believe in paying mega bucks for a shirt or jeans. I love shopping the thrift stores and finding some cool vintage stuff, which is harder and harder to come by these days. I wont buy a designer purse. I see it as wasted money. Jewelry wise, I make 98% of what I wear. I have to really be impressed or it is something I cannot make in order for me to buy it. The one accessory that really drives me bonkers though is bras!!! I. HATE. THEM. I am fortunate (in my eyes) that I am not well endowed. But there are times I have to wear one and I am constantly tugging or the straps are falling down. Just a royal pain in the ass. I feel for the people that absolutely have to wear them. Straps digging in your shoulders from the weight of your breasts. I would have to get a reduction.... LOL Yes, right now I am wearing a bra on and so I had to rant about it since I have not even left the house and I am in misery... Poor me! LOL
I am sitting here at school in my little hide out in the back by the vending machines. Chatting on IM with my friend in Germany and here too. I have been cracking up from my friend in Germany and if anyone is in earshot of me they for sure must think I am completely nuts!!!!
Sitting here at school in my favorite spot, kind of out of the way of things, but near the vending machines. I have been watching this guy, "attempt" to fix the broken vending machine. He has opened and closed the door of it at least 10 times, shook it multiple times, pushed the change return. Then opens one of the working machines looks in it, then re-opens the broke one. Looks behind it and then gives it one last shake. Quite fucking comical! Ooooh, he finally gave up...LOL Hahaha, he came back. opened up both the food side and the money side again. Pushed on it pulled on it and banged on the front. Now taking some notes. On what??? LOL Lets see if he returns...
5 more hours of this treacherous pain. I have not had this in over a year and I have not forgotten how debilitating it is. It feels like someone is twisting a knife in the muscles on top of my left shoulder making it near impossible to lift my arm from the weakness it is causing. It then radiates into my chest. This afternoon was the soonest I could get in to my Dr. Then I will get some pain meds and relief. I hate taking that crap, too. But this is one of those times in need and I need to stop this pain. Until then, heating pad and trying not too move a whole lot....
COMMENTS
What happened? What did you do?
*hugs*
Wow. I don't like pain killers either, but I usually give in to them due to excruciating pain. Heating pad (and Icy Hot, on occasion) work sometimes. I truly hope that your doctor can do something for you quickly.
*a gentle hug*
I reckon that I will throw in the towel on trying to keep working on my homework/studying for the day. The idiots that live around me have been blowing off fireworks since 8 this morning. And some doozies at that. It has made it hard to concentrate fully on what I need to get accomplished. So, I guess I will make a batch of fresh salsa and get shit faced instead. LOL
COMMENTS
That sounds fucking awesome. Salsa and booze!!
Oh man...I recall all of the times I tried to study, only to have neighbors arguing, the slow kid upstairs jumping on furniture, etc...
And fireworks...too bad they don't blow off a few fingers!
Um...salsa sounds good!
I hate when I am really tired and go to bed and cannot sleep. I watched True Blood and after it was over I dove into bed and laid there for over an hour and a half. My mind kept taking me to uncharted waters. I could not even meditate my mind or body enough to relax. I thought about reading, but my eyes are so sleepy and slightly irritated. Oh well, I guess I will give it a try again and see what happens. Nighty-night...
COMMENTS
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xxEmaeraldxx
22:12 Jul 31 2012
Black and whots have a kind of magic I like :) nice shot!
Dracilla666
05:14 Aug 07 2012
You look really nice Trin :)