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Close friends keep telling me that they loved me... WTF?



Now lets break this down... First why didn't you tell me originally you felt this way? You all of a sudden feel the need to tell me, and make me feel badly for falling in love. WTF AGAIN!



I get dicked over by everyone. I just don't understand why people can’t just learn to be happy for me and leave me the fuck alone.



Secondly, okay... I don’t need to know that you love me... I honestly don't care. I'm finally happy and in the mist of this I've pissed off everyone. I'm nothing special for you all to fight over and try and fuck the other one over.



I'm nothing... remember that. And next time fall in love with someone who's a bit better and whom you will tell. And wont get taken in the next few months.



I really wish I could just crawl into a hole, be left with a phone and a good book. Maybe then I wouldn't hurt anyone. Seeing as I am so good at it by now.



Arrgggg... the ramblings of a mad woman, aren't the great?

I fall into your arms. You clenching me closely. I feel your teardrops hit my face. They feel like bullets. They slide down my arms. I cry deep into your chest. We whisper our I love yous. Gentle kisses. You know I'm falling apart again. You always pick me up and place me back together. You hold me as I cry and shake remembering the past. Softly saying my name. The same routine. The reason why I love you so. I twiddle the ring on my finger. Remembering the day you asked me, as the happiest I ever was or could be. Gazing into those soft blue eyes. I would give anything for you. I would kill anyone for you. I would cry blood just to make you smile, once more. You know I have scars, yet you still love me, you kiss them. You make me whole. I shake trying to stabilize my breathing. You've become so used to this you’re not even affected anymore. You stroke my head and kiss me once more. Laying me down holding me close to your chest. I weep louder. I remember our wedding. I remember the birth of our first child. I remember our life together in a flash, even seeing the future. You hold me close, I stop my crying. I remember I love you. I remember you've saved me so many a night. Tonight, once more. The pain the suffering... gone... left is a woman more prepared to be everything she can be for you.





A dream I felt the need to wake up and type out.

So cliché and so copywrited but it fits my mood at the moment. I loved you, part of me still does. I'm tired of this game, I wish you would just understand I cant like you and I don’t want to. All you've ever done is fuck me over so many times, I'm with someone now, who I am in love with madly, why can’t you understand that?



You tell me I love you, I tell you I cant, I wont, I don’t want to anymore. You've hurt me numerous times, you've broken my heart, and you’ve ruined relationships. And when I give you a chance you just ignore me. What was I supposed to do, twiddle my fucking thumbs for another month? Yeah right douche. You come online and don’t speak a word. Its best. Everything that’s ever come out of that goddamned mouth has brought nothing but pain.



I'm finally happy, and your going around trying to fuck shit up again. If you were to succeed, I know you'd just run for the hills again after you've ruined my life once more. And continued to be the selfish motherfucker you are. I wont let you, ruin this one. I wont let you affect me.



I HATE YOU. You are nothing to me anymore. You will not succeed and I will fucking kill you if you do. I hope you burn in hell.



I'm happy. I'm in love. I'm engaged. I don’t want anything to do with you. I will let you stumble and fall, without me. I will leave you all alone like you did to me. You will fall to pieces, just like I have so many times. I will spit in your face, as My Love slips that ring on my finger.



Like I said before I hope you rot, burn, die, whatever the fuck in hell. And you ache more and more with each day. And I will still laugh, just as you did, with those so many nights of falling asleep crying and popping pills.



This is a finally fuck off. You do not affect me anymore.

I've found him once more, I won't ever let you run off again, I can't describe how quickly I have fallen in love with you once more. I will always and forever love you, just as you promised me, till the day we marry, and start living together.



Nothing will break this love, I've missed you so very much, and it killed me to think I wouldn't ever be yours again.



Now here we are three months later, with your words cradling me to sleep, my dreams about my love for you. Never a waking or sleeping moment when my heart isn't yours and my mind isn't thinking constantly of you.



Soon I will be with you, 15 days in fact. My bonds to you will grow closer and tighter, as I found love, real love, for the first and final time. I will always be yours my beloved.

MEN! Okay first off to the men reading this, okay, I understand I don’t know you all that well, and can take this in a bad way or understand how much your sex has fucked me over. Whereas I am sure quite a few women have done the same to you.



First off, I'm tired of this... I truly am. Maybe its cause my whole family are assholes, most the time. Maybe it’s the bad relationship I share with my father. Maybe it’s the fact that 3 men that would like brothers to me raped me. Maybe its cause they all insist on loving me and then leaving quickly.



Either way, I'm tired of it. I wish I could just go after all the ones that have fucked me over with a mother fucking shotgun, and blow body parts all over the place.



I know that wont help but I need to find some sort of relief with this shit. I've only found one man who's ever been good to me non-stop and loved me unconditionally. But even he makes his mistakes. We fight sometimes. And I've cried my share of times to things he has said to me. But the next day, we are right back together; saying I love you and missed you, don’t ever leave like that again.



Men where given brains to think, just they cant process emotion. Maybe it’s my fault. Either way, this is pushing me closer and closer to saying no more. No more love, no more anything. I wont deal with it, maybe curl up in a hole for a couple weeks and do nothing but cry and listen to music.



But eh what will that accomplish other then them knowing that they got to me. And hurt me again. I'm tired of the male race and their fuckin supremacy and everything else that comes along with testosterone. Someone save me from this mess before I start killing people. Come back to me and tell me what's wrong and why you left me so abruptly.

You know who you are. Your promises, your love, everything I cherished, has blown up in my face. I'm finding myself in the same place as just a few short months ago, I promised myself I wouldn't fall in love again and look where its landed me. I will not fall into that fuckin pit again. You've broken me for the last time, cupid. I trusted you, I loved you, I was ready for you, and I wasn't going to wait a second more. And we went from saying I love you to never speaking. Did I smother you? Am I just another chick that you say is obsessed with you and you flick away like a smoked cigarette. Yes, I have cried many times in this last week over you, how much I miss you, how badly you tore me to shreds, without even blinking an eye. You're pretty visibly ignoring me, now why cant you openly tell me you want nothing to do with me, instead of playing this game of cat and mouse. With you after me when I wasn't ready, and now you retreating while I scramble after not ready to lose you. Men, have fucked me over for the last time, this is it... no more love for anyone. I'll become just as bitter as you are and I will choke on my lies, my promises, and everything that makes me the person I am. Hope this was as big of a fuck you as you've been serving me lately.