Isn't it? Hmm... I find myself falling all the fucking time now. I'm always cold. I can't hear your yells anymore. They're drowned out by pain. I'd kill myself just so you could see the effect you've had on me. You speak and it’s instantly blocked. All you say is hurtful, rude, crass things. When was the last time you said you loved me. Or mom? Maybe she left you just because you didn't know how to say those three words. I won't say I hate you. I won't I promised. But yet... you never keep your promises now do you Daddy? I've realized none of my family here gives a flying fuck about me. I sat at the table and cried all around you. Did you even look up or speak a word. I went to my room. Cried loudly. The phone rang. Whets your choice dad? Answer the phone that always rings? Or comfort your daughter? Phone of course. Who is it? Josh. Of course. He is more family to you now isn't he? I'm nothing. Just more pain on your checkbook. Don't worry. I'll be gone in two weeks. Back to mom. Oh aren't you happy? I'll graduate... and we will have the same relationship as Dee. We won't speak till I marry. Or have a child.
Isn't this the perfect little world of the Docka's? When was the last time we were really family? Hmm...? You don't remember now do you? Was it when you stopped calling me your little peanut? Was it the first time you brought druggies home? Was it the first night you came into my room and found me passed out? Pill bottle still in my hands? Oh right... you weren't home for that... it was mom... she cared. She brought me to the ER she tried to help. She cried tears and the years away. She held my hand. Watching me turn into her. Watching me numb. Watching me change. She watched me die one night. Why did I come back? Mother hold me one last time. Let your tears wash away my pain. And have you bring me back. I won't ever leave you again momma.
COMMENTS
-