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You know that they say time will everything? Well how long does it take I am still waiting.

In the last 2 weeks I have had my heart broken by the one that I love!!!!

With all the calls and conversations, and accusations, messages and misperceptions. All of this has paralyzed my heart and body and mind.

Answers only make more questions!

I need something or someone to believe in.

It's okay when I am gone that there's nothing more you can say to me!

There's nothing left for me here! I have paid the price and I will keep paying! Yes I am as mad as hell and very hurt!

I can't do what you think or look the way you think I should. I know that you say just do it!!!!

How in the world can the words you said to me send me so far over the edge?

I set here looking at all of our pictures and I see you smiling face and I feel your warm sweet lips on mine! It's true I'm missing you and I love you with all my heart! You always told me that we would be alright and that we could make it though the rough times! But are we really alright and have we made it though the rough times and are we still husband and wife? As I writ the there are tears in my eyes and a very broken heart!!

Tonight I will not be alone I have an old friend here his name is "Jose Cuervo 1800" and I have some morphine pills so what a party it will be.

Love has taught me how to break! I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want feel guilty about the things that I can't change right now!

Why did you have to leave the way you did and when you did?

I can't stand the thought of you in another women's arms!! I know that you said I am the only one for you. but you aren't here you are there. You also said"Lets act like we are just starting and not ending up"! Right now I just want to stop hurting and for the pain to go away and this is the only way I know how to do that!

I know this is a very sad story! Believe me I would be alot happier if I wasn't living this and dealing with all the pain.

My Love Please Remember You Will Always Have My Love And My Heart!!!!!!!

I Will Never Stop Loving You!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank-you to all the people that I have meet on the net for your friendship and kindness!!



October 06,2006

As I sit here tonight I am thinking about all the good times that we have had.

I remember the first time you kissed me.

I am so very proud and blessed to be your wife.

I know that times have been rough and our road rocky. No matter how rough or rocky things got MY LOVE FOR YOU NEVER WAVERED OR STOPPED!

I know that this last year hasn't been easy for you! It hasn't been easy for me either but I just trusted in our love! Maybe I placed my love in the wrong places and people?!?

I find myself setting outside on the swing alot wondering if you are alright and where you are and what you are doing?! I can't stand to be in the house much because I see you and hear your sweet voice in all the rooms!

I am so very depressed right now that I feel like my whole wold has come crashing down and is gone!!!!!!!!

I don't know if I can bring myself out of this deep depression or not. But I am taking it one minute at a time that's all I can do!

Honey I hope that you know just how much I love you and care about you and I miss you so very much!!!!!



October6,2006

Tina L. Teater

Well its another Saturday night and my husband is out at the bar and who knows when and if he will come home. I only wish that he wouldn't use women like he does! He has a wife that loves him very much and who is very faithful to him. Last week when he went to Waco TX. to see a women and things didn't work out for him , he called me and wanted me to send him money to come home on! Well being the person that I am and loving him like I do Yes I sent him a bus ticket home. No I wouldn't send him money but I would get him a bus ticket home and I would let him back into our home. I know that I need my head examined but I do love him and I will always stand by my man until My heart sees and feels what my eyes sees!! Last night I woke up and he was on the phone at 1:00 am talking to another women in another coven he says she know that he is married and that we are happy but I am wondering if she really does know that he is married. Okay enough of crying and feeling sorry for my self. Life is to short to wast it on silly things but my marriage isn't a silly thing to me.

If it wasn't for 2 very special people in Waco TX. I don't know if IU would have made it though the weekend. I really didn't know these women but we talked and now we are good friends and we talk alot. I want to say a very special thank you to them and they know who they are. Thank -you so very much. You will always have a friend in Illinois.

October 01, 2006

Tina L. Teater