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i dont want her to feel bad for anything that i might be doing. what if secretly she hated me. it is what i fear. if she said never to talk to her again then i would do it to make her happy, i don't know why that would happen, she could just hate me. maybe i too quickly wanted to become involved in her life. i am not sure i just hope that she likes me as much as i like her, there is so much i would do for her, and there is so much she can do for me. I hope that it works out, i hope that i can get closer to her. i hate this paranoia, but there is no real way of knowing what is true. i just want to be with her, why does there have to be anything in the way.

I AM A HAPPY PERSON. Says the computer screen.

I check everyday for new comments so please leave something, even a stamp, i will rate back.

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StoneCrow
03:53 Nov 29 2008

comment back...heh

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Oceanne
04:14 Nov 29 2008

Comment..

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i am a failure

i can either sleep or wait, i am not very good at either. why do i constantly fail at life.

Well i did what i was put forth to do and i succeeded as far as i can tell. Mwahaha

HAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHHA, i finally am here, i made it ha fuck i feel good. well wish me luck, im just looking forward to being alive today. no drugs, just work to get me here. i have something and i want this to last as long as it can.

Linking Park's Crawling has to be one of the best songs ever recorded. It is older than most people care to look back but seriously it has to be one of my all time top favorite songs, which says something coming from my relationship with music.



I had a dream that i got punched in the face. It was very much a refreshing dream because i always feel it, and getting punched reminded me not to be a dick, which im not.



Also almost got written up at work because i told my manager to, "Do his fucking job". Probably not the smartest idea but felt great at the time. Well i love being alive, but only when im asleep. Thank you for reading.

i actually got her cell. Now i can text and call and whatever to my goddess. To the girl i worship, she could have any part of me she wanted, and i have her cell. I don't think that this is supposed to happen but i did it and i am able to talk to my goddess now.

why the fuck am i here

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ThothLestat
01:56 Nov 15 2008

well, you have to be somewhere.

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I got some mushrooms, and i dont mean from nintendo, they are not 1 uppers. I will be ingesting them tomorow and i have already sampled them with oarnge juice today. i wish the girls at my school did them because i would take one home who is expieienced to split an eigth with, i sit in disguist at shelterd people.

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dabbler
02:08 Nov 14 2008

consider all aspects of your environment, never press psycidelics on others, or demean them for abstaining from their use.

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I think that i was cursed by my church, they always seemed evil to me and now i believe that they have. They were very strict and i was not an obedient child. I also assume my mother has cursed me because she is a self-righteous bitch who would do some fucked up shit like that. I also have vague memories of some satanic ritual performed on me as an infant, but that may have been a hallucination.



I am commonly used by unknown entities when i try to sleep, it is very welcome, but it is just another ritual that falls in line.



Well that is enough weird crap for the night, and goodnight.

i had enough for a week, instead i am finally satisfying a need i have had for a while. Come this Friday and i will be broke with nothing but was i have wanted to do for a while.



I just need to cure myself, i don't think i will haveafuture if i keep on like this. There is not really a easy cure though, i have thought hard and looked for it but it just isnt there. Well no one is going to give it to me for free, and like i said i am broke. So i have no immediate hope. That is unless i find it, or it finds me. Well until then i will just continue in my sickness. and i will grow out of it into a new one i am sure, but first i need to be cured.



The answer is there, they just need to help me make the last steps out. Why wont they be ther, but they have been, i just need some more patience and time. I think that i will find it.

i have nobody in my life and like that there is nobody to get in my way. i hate everybody that thinks that they can treat other people how they want. Fuck you i hate you too. Well if i could just die then your problem of me being here would be a quick solution. Soon i will be independent so my problems will be concentrated on my isolation. I fucking hate all of these bitches, and i wish in a way that they would die, but my death is much preferred due to its violent affects only contributing to me. Just die all of you greedy motherfuckers