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I don’t know how long the endless walk through the night is. How terrible or great, how illuminated or terrifying... I used to think it would never end. It can change in a second, I’ve seen. I exist in a world, living, and under god, who rules, eternally, unquestionably ...
Anything is possible in that world. The kind of world itself is possibly changing in ways which are different for each person. Every person has a different form of reality they live in. I am a vampire, I always was, I always will be... that, and everything which pertains to it is very specific. That is all very interesting.
I hate creeps... I don’t even know if you could call them creeps, because they’re worse than that...
Some updates... I managed to get a lot of my personal work which pertains to the RLVC finished - despite the depression, anxiety... looking back over the past three months... for a drained vampire with severe blood needs, I actually feel there is some very positive developments in my life, and really, on this level, that is for the first time ever... generally, I’m tripping through my life, confused, and even my thoughts and my beliefs are falling down, my life - a downward spiral, daily. Right now, though, there is this positivity, even in the darkness.
I thought I wasn’t going to get through this. I am still in that accomplishing phase though. Seven years ago I had these project ideas from an environmentalist’s perspective - yet I had no supplies, energy, framework, experience, patience, practice, self-discipline, funding, previous buyers or success in my artistic endeavors ... at that time, I only had the endless list of ideas and a problem which needed to be solved. Today I’m looking at over 60% of the base material for recycled media, as it is laid out and neatly organized, with the planning and list of eco-friendly supplies finished, ready to create the final pieces ...
I don’t want to say too much more about it ... the ideas keep transforming - and a few of my friends who have been supportive, I think they’re excited about being surprised by the final outcome of my work. Over half of my soil is layered in and ready to go into the major gardening beds I’ll be creating (mostly herbs and tinctures - which are great medicines for those who have vampirism... some other stuff like that). My family kindly delivered some plants to start with, the article would be finished and published today. I ran into some serious issues in the system though, those obstacles did end up lending me another 75 hrs of research despite that... so beyond the 100 I accomplished from October to March.. I have quite a bit more finished, and it’s amounted to a work which is the product of 175 hours of research, and I’d have to say I’m pretty happy about that. Now I’m getting into the creation of some compiled sources, graphs, world religions, etc.,... I don’t want to ruin an article which may become useful as long as it is truly written accurately... I think I could have rushed it and had a simple version done, which would have been published April 10th, this year (2019)... it is likely that some beautifully divine force has brought about these fateful turns in the road, though, as the article will have more educational depth and developed points. Aand - I’m taking off now, as... I’ll be updating you all later with some summer photography, finalized art projects, the link for my published article. From now until then ... I’ll be on from time to time with the same basic vampire journals which I’ve had previously (about energy levels, any practice with medicinal supplements, blood intake or the opposite - some unexplained sense of being drained), although, I think I’ll be making them more interesting... and I’ll share any other creative writing I have.
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