The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

INK!!!!!!!

how to handle a goth dj.... the do's and don'ts   





1. Buying the DJ a drink will get your request on faster, or this seems to work with most.

2. Don't request VNV Nation, when you know that the DJ just played them two songs ago.

3. No Skinny Puppy is not a new band.

4. Do not request Marilyn Manson.

5. Don't whine when the DJ says that he/she doesn't have Peaches and don't just keep requesting it over and over again, if the DJ says they don't have it, they don't have it. It's not going to appear out of thin air if you keep asking for it.

6. Don't ask if you can lick the DJ's tattoos.

7. Yes, David Bowie can cover David Bowie.

8. Don't request Bauhaus "Bela Legosi's Dead". Most goth DJs don't even carry it with them any more.

9. Don't try to have a conversation with the DJ when they are mixing, this pisses them off. If you want to talk, wait until their set is done. Or you have about 30 sec. to say what you need to say.

10. No, you can't come into the booth.

11. There comes a certain time of the night that the DJ will play what he/she wants do so deal with it.

12. Don't hand an old DJ your mix cd to show off how good of a DJ you are. A lot of them actually find this insulting. It doesn't actually show your skills and just shows what you can do with a computer.

13. Just because you know the DJ doesn't mean that you get in for free.

14. Don't hand the DJ your demo cd for your band and expect them to play it then and there. Most will want to spend some time with the music before they spin it.

15. Club Courtesy is a very old tradition and there is honor in letting other DJs from other clubs in for free, but just because you DJ in your basement doesn't mean you get in for free.

16. Don't ask, "Who does this Donnie Darko remix" when the DJ is playing Tears For Fears.

17. Do feed the DJs.

18. If the DJ's hair is interesting, don't just grab it to see it when he/she is DJing.

19. Don't sing a song to the DJ and expect them to know who it is.

20. Don't ever tell a DJ that Avril Lavigne is old school deathrock.

21. Yes, sometime the DJ parents will show up to the event and dance like everyone else.

22. Sometimes the DJ is dating/seeing "that loser in the corner", so be nice to them. You never know.

23. Don't put your camera right in the DJ's face when they are working. Usually DJs don't mind when you take photos of them, but don't get in the way of the music.

24. Keep in mind that some DJs take requests and some don't.

25. Never give a DJ to much to drink because they can't always spin when they are drunk.

26. DJs do bite.

27. Just because you think that you're hot doesn't mean that you're going to get to go home with the DJ.

28. DJ groupies = good. DJ stalkers = bad.

29. There is more to being a DJ then just playing the music. There is a lot of things that you may never see.

30. Don't ask a DJ if you can get on the same bill as they are on just because you want to DJ at that event.

31. Even the DJ can have a bad day.

32. Sometimes when two DJs are tag teaming on the decks, it can degenerate into who can be the dumber DJ.

33. Yes, sometimes a DJ will trick you into dancing to The Beatles or The Rolling Stones.

34. No, Alkaline Trio is not The Sisters of Mercy.

35. Sometimes the DJ can get a hold of music that you can't because of knowing bands and getting their hands on while labels.

36. Some music that we all love hasn't been but on cd yet and some DJs don't have any wax.

37. Bad music is still bad music.

38. Don't request Sean Paul, you're in a goth club. You're not going to hear that.

39. Yes, that was Real Life and it wasn't "Send Me An Angel". They did make more music than that song. Hells, they have a new album out for the gods sake.

40. Some DJ will teach the trade and others won't.

41. Stop requesting prog rock, you're at the wrong place for that.

42. Kissing the DJ can be a good thing, but only if they are single or in an open relationship.

43. Just because you requested a song last week doesn't mean that the DJ remembers who you are.

44. Korn who?

45. A tip can go really far with most DJs.

46. Don't ask the DJ out on a date, just get in line. lol.

47. When the DJ is carrying gear/music from room to room, don't stop them. That stuff is heavy.

48. Even the best DJs in the world, mess up from time to time. No DJ is perfect every single time.

49. A lot of times, what you're hearing is a remix that the DJ is doing there live.

50. "Did you just ask me to spin Hanson?"

51. Don't cry when the DJ says that they don't have the song that you requested. Do you know just how many songs have been recorded in the past 100 years?

52. No The Mamas and The Papas are not A-Pop, nor are they covering A-Pop.

53. No you can't. Yes we can.

54. If the DJ has left the DJ booth during his/her set, get the hell out of the way!

55. Don't try to show off about how much you know about the type of music a DJ is playing to them. They are paid to know more than you.

56. Dance to the song you request or the DJ won't play your next request.

57. "Did I jut blow a circuit breaker?"

58. When the DJ plays "The Internet is for Porn", it's either time to leave or sing.

59. "Ha! I just had you all dancing to 60's music.

60. "I do listen to more than goth and industrial. Duh."

61. DJs do have day jobs like everyone else. Deal with it.

62. What is up with using DJ's names and logos in graffiti lately?

63. "Give me the shiny!!!!!!!"

64. Just because you know the DJ doesn't mean that you are friends with the DJ.

65. If the DJ is playing Jungle and the floor is packed, don't request Nick Cave's "Red Right Hand" over and over again. Pay attention to what is going on around you.

66. Just because it's your birthday, doesn't mean that the DJ will play your request if it's out of format for the night.

67. Please don't request "Dead Stars"!!! Aren't you sick of that song already? I was the week after it came out.

68. If the DJ is doing predictions over people and they are right even if the DJ has no clue who they are, it's way past time to cut them off from the booze, or it's time to call his/her brother to take him/her home.

69. "Don't piss of the grumpy dragon bouncer. He will eat simply because you are human and in his way."

70. Just because a male DJ and a female DJ are battling on the decks, doesn't mean that they are dating or married.

71. "Dude, you're either on to much drugs or not enough."

72. "It won't go any louder with out blowing up a speaker."

73. "It was so loud, i rattled a light bulb out of the celling."

74. Hanging out with the girl that hangs out with the DJ doesn't make you cool.

75. Just because the DJ shows up to the club in jeans and a "normal" t-shirt just means that they dress like you do.

76. Don't throw a temper tantrum to the headlining DJs for an event because you don't like the promoter and then want them to DJ your party.

77. Don't follow the DJ around when they are at the club. They are working and it makes you look like a stalker.

78. When hiring a DJ for a special event, don't tell the DJ everything that they are going to play that night or you won't have a DJ.

79. Gifts work better then tips.

80. "Yeah, that song has samples from Red Dwarf. What's your point?"

81. Even DJs can be fanboys of other DJs.

82. Sometimes the DJs will work the door. So be really nice to them when they are there, because if you aren't, they won't play any of your requests or they may just have you kicked out all together.

83. Some DJs do double as bouncers.

84. "Hip, hip, get out!!!!"

85. Talking smack about the bartender to the DJ, bad idea. Duh, they are working in the same place.

86. Wearing all black all the time gets a bit boring, that's why DJs are sometime very colorful.

87. Most DJs are a little dorky in some way or another. That's why there is a Star Wars pin on their jacket.

88. "No, I won't play "I Sit on Acid". There's children here."