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As i sit here in the dark i listen and wait, waiting for the one i love and miss the most...he said he would be here, he said he would come...it is 4 hours past and still no word from him...i wonder if he is ok, i wonder if he is alive, i hear footsteps coming down the hall and i turn to look...no, its not him just a neighbor who has returned from a late nights work, she sees me sitting here in the dark all alone...i hope she just keeps walking because i really dont feel like dealing with anyone except "Him" but unfortunately i dont think he is going to come here...

Yet again i am met with broken hopes and shattered dreams....

hating the way i feel

wishing everything would just be ok

wanting to get away from everyone

hating the way i feel

wishing that i didnt feel the way i do

wanting you to understand how i feel

hating the way i feel

wishing that you could see what is inside of me

wanting to let go of all i feel

hating the way i feel

wishing that i could tell you everything

wanting to forget all that happened

i hate the way i feel at times.

feeling alone and feeling scared.

wanting someone to hear my pleas!

can you help me?

do you even notice?

do you even care

if you do then let me know

cause if you dont i may not last.

death is drawing near and i hope its coming for me!

i wish i could make you understand why i feel the way i do sometimes but i know that you dont. i hate it! i fucking hate it. i hate the way you yell and when you scream at me it hurts. it brings back memories that i had finally started to put away. why do you always do it. i tell you ill do something the next day and you freak. IM NOT PERFECT BUT YOU EXPECT ME TO BE. WHY? i want to cut & burn but you'll only yell some more