The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

so horrible? What causes me to be the biggest bitch in the world? What makes me so worthless? Why do I have to do these things that make someone I care about so very upset? Why do I feel this way, why is it all so difficult, why, why, why..... I can't fucking take this anymore. I won't sit here and think about blades and flesh when that part of my life is behind me. YOU taught me that. If you're reading this, please stop hating me. I still love you and can't live without at least your smile. That's all I ask of you. I know you'll never favor me again, but at least bestow upon such an unworthy subject as me a smile.. the smile of an angel... You know, I decided long ago to get a tattoo that somewhat features you. Because I have always called you Angel. It was first modeled off the song lyric "There's no smile of an angel without the wrath of god" from the song Heartache Every Moment by HIM. It was to be of a red-haired, beautiful angel with blazing green eyes smiling in such splendour to make an ordinary person cry. Then an angry face in the clouds, possibly snarling at the beautiful angel, representing god and the whole "all good things must come to an end, and there's bad for every good" thing. This was and still is my planned tattoo. Probably I will get it at the end of this very month. I hate that you speak to me so. It hurts. Please help me to stop being so selfish as you call me. I'm sorry.. forgive me Angel.....