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Attractiveness is a weird thing. I say this being someone who isn't considered "hot" by everyone, but is still considered to be by some people. Some people don't think I'm attractive because I don't have metal implanted into my skull or ink all over my skin or because I'm not as skinny as a toothpick or because my ideal style died in the 60's. Whatever it may be to make some people find me unattractive, I keep in mind that I still am despite what they think. No, I'm not going to say "if you don't think I'm attractive than I don't care and you can go fuck yourself" because I see people do that and it shows just as much insecurity as saying "please don't call me ugly ." What I am saying is beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I look at myself in the mirror and can't see anything wrong, but there are people out there who can name a few things. The girls most guys find to be hot (the ones who take elaborate pictures of themselves and getting the most attention) is just not what I find to be hot. Most times I'll take cuteness over outward "OMG I'm so hot". Everyone has their own taste and if you find one person ugly, that isn't an absolute. That does not mean that person is actually ugly, that just means you are not seeing what someone who thinks the person is attractive is seeing. Yes, even you egotistical morons who get swamped with "you're so hot" comments are found ugly by many who just don't want to bother saying anything. That's just life.

I love cheesy pick up lines.

Especially Pokemon ones.

I swear, google is my best friend. xD





Are you a pikachu? Because you are shockingly beautiful. Do you wanna battle? 'Cuz my balls are at the ready!, My love for you burns like a Charizard's tail, If I were a Nidoking, you would be my Nidoqueen, If I were a Milktank, I'd use ATTRACT on you., Looking at your ass makes my bulba soar., Want to register your number in my PokeNav?, Is that a Sudowoodo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?, I'd like to ride you like a HORSEA., When I look at you, my Metapod can't get any harder., You remind me of Pokemon, I just want to Pikachu., Do you wanna play my Poke Flute?, When I'm around you, I am like a Geodude, as hard as a rock!, I've got Masterballs baby., Do you wanna play with my Poke Balls?, I think I need a Paralyze Heal, because you're stunning., My Pokeballs are SWIFT in your mouth., Are you a RARE CANDY? 'cuz I feel a level-up., If you were a Pokemon, I'D CHOOSE YOU!, Do you wanna LICKILICKY my icky sticky., My Donphan won't ROLLOUT for you much longer., Do you wanna see what's in my ball bag?, Do you wanna see my POLI-WAG?, Like an Umbreon, I also evolve at night., Can I fertilize you with my sunkern?, How would you like me to use my Onix to BIND you to my bed?, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night., Hey baby, wanna SPOINK?, Your more beautiful than a Beautifly., Let's have a Togepi of our own!, Want my Caterpie to use String Shot on you?, I'd like to get in your rock tunnel., What's your favorite move? Mine is LICK., You'll be WEEZING after I'm done with you., You've got the lips of a Jynx!, Can I get into YOUR Secret Base?, You make my Darkrai rise., You remind me of Deoxys, you're out of this world., Those are some nice HOOTHOOTS you got there., I just want to stick it in your wooper., The name's cock..i mean brock..wait, i said that right., My Kadabra just used Future Sight, and it looks like we've got a future together., How would you like to see my viridian forest, well it's not really viridian., How about you come and see my safari zone., Want to ride my emPOLEon?, You're such a good catch, i think i'll use my only MASTER BALL on you. Let's make like a Super Rod and hook up., I'm going to Hoppip into your pants., My Shellder wants to clamp onto your Slowpoke's tail!, Squirtle isn't the ONLY one that can use water gun. - wink -, STD’s are like Pokemon baby, gotta catch ‘em all! Wanna help me out?, Do you like Pokeballs because you're about to get really close to one of mine., I wish I was a Seaking, so I could HORN DRILL you., Let's make RegiLove!, Want to Link your cable onto me?, I'd like to Leech my Seeds into you., You put the "Wiggle" in Wigglytuff., Aipom's pretty good with his hands, and so am I., I wanna see your Squirtle squirt., If I was a Pokemon right now, I'd be an Erectabuzz, If you were in a Pokemon Contest, you'd win first place in the Beauty/Cuteness category., I think we're going to need Defog (HM05) before the night is done., I'd like to Slowpoke your Cloyster., Are you a Hitmonlee cause your body is kickin'., My Typhlosion knows Eruption., You make me feel like an Electrode, you give me an EXPLOSION in my pants., You make me errupt like the Cinnabar Island volcano., You must be a Charmander because you're getting me hot., Lets make like the pages of this guide book and get under the covers., Baby, I'm a Mismagius. I'll make all of your wildest dreams come true., My Lickitung can reach deeper than you can imagine!, Don't make me use Water Gun all over you! Are you from the Hoenn Region? 'Cuz you're the only HO I see., I wanna Munchlax your Cloyster., I'm a real Machamp, if you know what I mean., How about you use REST, so i can sleep with you., My Typhlosion knows EXPLOSION!!, You put the "Double-D" in Dodou., I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town., Have you been taking lessons from a Lickitung?, Did you just FLASH(HM 05) me?, Your gonna need a HYPERPOTION by the time i'm done with you., You put the "BONE" in Cubone., You set my Chimchar on fire., I'll use ROCK CLIMB in your Fortress., My Diglett's attracted to your SWEET SCENT., Did you use CONFUSE RAY?, cuz your making me dizzy., Do you wanna see my NUGGETS?, I'd POUND you with my Piplup., You make me RY-HORNY!, You just gave me a Cubone., My Bulbasaur knows TICKLE., I can make your Jigglypuffs sing., I can make your Milktanks moo., I wish you and I were Weedles, so you and I could make a Kakuna and evolve together., Hey, I've got some legendary pokemon, do you want to touch my pokeballs to see just how legendary they are?, If you were a pokemon, you'd be a Squirtle, cause you make me wet!, Let's go make a Mewtwo of our own., I wish I was a Magikarp, so I could use SPLASH on you!, My Exeggcute are pretty weak. Let's battle so they can get some experience., Wanna watch my EKANS evolve?, I made you some MOO-MOO MILK, but I forgot to use my Milktank., You make my Gyrados HYDROPUMP!, I wanna spread HONEY on your Forretress., If I were a Ghastly, I'd seep right through your pants., You give my Gengar that smile., If I were a Hitmonchan, I'd Thunderpunch dat ass., Is that a TANGELA down there?, Do you wanna see my BELL-SPROUT?, Will you use ROCK POLISH on my Pokeballs?, I wish I was an Abra, so I could TELEPORT to your bedroom., If I were a Pidgeotto, I'd GUST your pants off., It's a good thing that I'm a pokemon trainer and can handle your Jigglypuffs!, If I were a Clefairy, I"d DOUBLE-SLAP dat ass., Do you have a Ditto in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants., My Magikarp knows a little more than SPLASH if you know what I mean., I like to compare myself with Smeargle...I'm pretty handy with a paintbrush., I think I'm going to need a Burn Heal because you're hot., You put the "cool" in Tentacool., Why don't you and me go back to my gym and have a naked battle., Do you want to help my ekans learn intercourse?, starMiE and starYU belong together do you get the message?, I've got an Onyx, and if you come over to my place I'll show you his move Earthquake (TM 27)., I wish you were the ground and I was a Diglett so I could be inside of you.,





Seriously, you will be my best friend if you use any kind of pick up line on me, I love them. They just brighten up my day ^-^

Wouldn't you agree that a sense of humor is important? Well, not everyone would. The ability to have a sense of humor at the right times, and be serious when the time calls for it is a great thing to have. I have a sense of humor, therefore I love to joke around. This is especially true with newer people that I meet. Some people think it's "creepy" that I'm humorous, which is completely stupid. Often times, people are way too uptight and a harmless joke will go right over their head and they will take it literally. Laughter is the best medicine for anything. I've had some very hurtful experiences in the last couple of months and you know what I did to allude my depression? Exercised for that sweet release of endorphins AND watch funny shows, videos, etc. It cut down the time my depression could have recovered from, possibly taking a year or more to a few weeks.



People, get a sense of humor!

I see this a lot. A guy or a girl will take a picture of themselves and immediately Photoshop it so that "imperfections" are removed. They will then submit it to whatever social networking website and be rewarded with hundreds of admirers.



It's ridiculous that people go through this much trouble. I see it all too much, especially on here. Photoshop has gotten so accessible now, and it doesn't even take too much expertise to be able to make a picture look "better." From brightening their photo, to adding a "bloom" effect to make the colors more vibrant, all the way to removing little details that are deemed "imperfect", it has just gotten out of control. But the amazing part is, people will look at these pictures and still admire them. What happened to "natural beauty?" What happened to being beautiful without any sort of assistance? All these people are doing is succeeding at raising the bar for an unrealistic standard of beauty, and God only knows society doesn't need that with what modeling agencies do and just advertisers in general.



I don't believe in praising that which is artificial and will often times rather be with the one who is not being admired by hundreds, and is beautiful the way she is.



But hey, that's just me.

For once I'd like to feel like more than just another face in the crowd. I want to finally be liked and enjoyed by someone who doesn't like 100 other people simultaneously. We are all unique in our own way, and I am no exception to that. Enjoy me, give me a chance, what's the point in creating a crowd around me and making me feel more and more like I can't breathe? For once, I want to be the only one standing in the room, park, field or whatever have you, of your mind. I want to be alone with you. If you meet someone that you might be interested in...give them a chance first before you go ahead and meet twelve more people the same day. You only make them feel like another face in the crowd, and that's a feeling that is saddening and it only serves to make me feel that much more alone.

"Perfect" is a word that can take on many meanings. I mean, it has one general meaning but it seems like everybody's idea of what "perfect" is changes from person to person. This isn't hard to believe since "love" is another one of those words that changes from each individual. But being perfect to many people is said to be impossible because we're human and incapable of not making mistakes from time to time. But I think a bit differently. I feel that "perfect" is a word that defines exactly what we are, as long we follow exactly what we as individuals want and what nobody else wants. Are you doing that already? Great! You're perfect just the way you are. Nobody can say otherwise or take that away from you. So what you make mistakes, that doesn't take away from the meaning at all. Mistakes are made to be corrected and you are very capable of doing just that. We all have our own definitions of what "perfect" is, and what makes me so is different from why you are. The fact of the matter is, you and I are perfect the way we are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. People give me every reason to believe I'm ugly, but that doesn't bother me because I know I'm not. The only thing that matters is what YOU think about yourself and as long as you think positively, NOTHING can stop you. Be happy with who you are and be optimistic. It's worth it.



I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but that's just fine and I'll continue to believe precisely what I want and it makes me happy to do just that. (:

You Just Took Your First Hit of Acid...



The most important thing to remember is: you just took some acid. This might seem like an obvious point to you right now, but trust me .. in a few hours you will find yourself asking, "What did I do to my brain? Is my brain broken? Am I going to think this way for the rest of my life?" Always remember: You took some acid. You will be fine. In about twelve hours. Probably.



The second most important thing to remember is: You took the acid on purpose. No one made you take it. The Merry Pranksters didn't slip some in your Kool Aide at a love-in: no -- you meant to take it. You wanted to feel this way. All this confusion -- the disorientation, the hallucinations (if you're lucky, and scored some good shit) -- this is what you wanted. This is what you planned for the evening. Acid is a lot like a Haunted House at Halloween .. if you were just walking down the street and some dude in that mask from Scream jumped out at you with a knife .. you would NOT enjoy it. But if you paid for it, and you knew it was supposed to be happening, it's a good time.



Acid is just a haunted house that's inside your head. That lasts for twelve hours. That you bought from some dude who's a friend of a friend. Good, laugh-at-the-carpet-for-four-hours-acid can be a real treat. (If you scored something else -- speed cut with Robotussin and God knows what else .. less so. But try not to think about that right now. ) Either way .. you already took it and there's nothing you can do about it now. Get that through your head, too. Say it out loud: "I just took acid, and there's nothing I can do about it now." Sometimes that helps.



Other things to remember: Often, when you do acid for the first time, there's some dude there who says something like: "hey, don't worry about it man, I've done a lot of acid, and I'll be your Tour Guide." Or your "Flight Attendant." Whatever happens .. stay the fuck away from that dude. Sure, an experienced tripper is good to have around, but anybody offering that kind of help from the get-go is trouble. He's a sick, degenerate freak on a power trip, who'll take less acid than you just so he can get off on feeling superior, (which he never gets to do, unless surrounded by folks who are tripping their balls off.) The last thing you need is to have that smug little Charlie Manson wannabe around, telling you that "you're doing it wrong." Even if that not what he's saying, that's what he's thinking .. (and on acid, there is no difference.)



Lastly: have some orange juice in the fridge. When you're a few hours into the trip, someone might remember "hey, I heard drinking orange juice increases the visuals." ("Visuals" is an acid term: a harmless enough sounding label that can mean anything from the walls appearing to breath, to your best friend's skin sliding off his face. One time the guy on the album cover of The Cramps' "Bad Music for Bad People" climbed off the LP, took me into a limousine and talked to me about Hell. He said it wasn't that bad. That's what I mean by "visuals.") Anyway, someone will remember that rumor about orange juice, and then you'll all go pour and drink some orange juice. Whether the rumor is true or not, the important thing is: You all got your shit together enough to pour and drink some orange juice .. and at this stage, that'll feel like you've truly accomplished something. Something that was logistically as difficult as Operation Overlord on D-Day. And you pulled it off. You're fucking rocket scientists, and one day you'll be the ones people come to for answers and leadership.



Let's see.. what else. Avoid things that might stress or freak you out. Like people, clocks, mirrors, urinals, the Printed Word, money, junk food, healthy food, and especially THE MAN. (think about how hard it is for me. I mean, I am THE MAN. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm face-to-face with THE MAN. It can be rough...)



Oh, and I've known some folks who had a pretty rough time dealing with their cutlery drawer.



The most important thing: Enjoy the ups and downs. Enjoying starting to freak out that the confusion won't stop or even lighten up enough for you to enjoy your trip. Then enjoy pulling your shit together, and being filled with pride that you made it though the roughest patch of your young adult life. Then enjoy the fact that you didn't really "make it through" anything .. you've just been sitting on the couch in silence for five minutes, and you still have 10 hours of this shit to go. Remember -- it's only the acid; you'll be just fine.



Oh .. and don't try to cook anything in the oven. Bad idea .. you'll forget it's in there. Order Dominoes. You won't be able to eat it, but at least the delivery boy will be a horrible Night-of-the-Living Dead looking nightmare, with acne so bad it's sliding into the pizza, and an accent that's so thick, you can't understand a fucking word he says .. you can only give him your cash and lock the door in terror and confusion.



And that's always fun. (:

COMMENTS

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ebenezer
10:14 Oct 12 2010

I advise sitting on the couch and not moving whilst on LSD :|

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POST COMMENT

Admit it. You think you're special. So do I. You think you'll go on forever. Old age is another concept and death only happens in the movies.





You will die.



I will die.



The fat cunt on the road with his expensive car and designer shades – will die.



And there ain't nothing you can do about it... because no matter how high and mighty we may become, how much money you have clogging up your bank accounts, how big your tits are or how incredibly smart you may be – you will end up like everyone else.... you will be reduced to nothing more than sullied meat on the cold slab... like everyone else. Nobody will care, as nobody will care for those who did not care for you. Because they'll be dead too. And so on and so forth.



Death is inevitable. Death is the ultimate taboo and one sure truth in life.



Get over it. 'Cause I have. And I appreciate it fully...

The victim of an awful automobile accident was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital, and the emergency nurse was ordered to prepare the body for the undertaker.





Removing his clothes, she discovered that the young man had died with the most massive ERECTION she had ever seen.





Unable to take her eyes off it, she finally yielded to

temptation, took off her panties, straddled the stiff

and proceeded to enjoy herself.





She was just getting down from the table when a second nurse came in and saw her and promptly reprimanded her for her obscene behavior.





"What's the harm?" shot back the first nurse. "I enjoyed it, and HE surely didn't mind it. Besides, he can't complain and I can't get pregnant.

Why don't YOU give it a try too?"



"Oh, I can't possibly," said the second nurse, blushing.



"First, he's dead and second, I've got my period. Anyway, listen, the doctor wants you.

"



And so the first nurse left.





The second nurse got to work, but soon found herself terribly excited by this massive hard-on and finally climbed on top of it.





Just as she was starting to cum, she was astonished to feel the man climax too!



Looking down and seeing his eyelids starting to flutter, she exclaimed in shock, "I thought you were dead!"



"Lady, I thought I was too," said the man, "until you gave me that blood transfusion."

Lollipops turn into cigarettes, the innocent ones turn into sluts, homework goes in the trash, cell phones are being used in class, detention becomes suspension, soda becomes vodka, bikes become cars, and kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero? When your worst enemies were your siblings? When race issues were about who ran the fastest? War was only a card game? The only drug you knew was cough medicine. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? Yeah, and you couldn't wait to grow up...

I had the most strange of dreams last night.



Picture if you will:



So for some reason I'm one this incredibly insane roller coaster. Mind you, I am petrified of freaking roller coasters but, whatever, I was on one.



And it's headed up, up, UP the tracks, climbing higher and higher, to the sky. It was one of those dangling coasters so AHHH my legs were hanging beneath me, eerrrr! Well when it finally got to the very tip top, we were above the clouds and as it started I was literally flying through them.



Now as it descended to the groud I realized, holy fucking jesus christ on'a stick, the tracks are leading into the ocean. I was a flipping maniac by this point thinking, dude, oh my god, I can't swim! I hate the water! Gaaaah!



(Just for starters, I mean come on, I can't even hold my breath in the damned shower without plugging my nose. And for seconds, tracks under water? How absolutely impractical! What the hell was my subconcious thinking?)



So anyway, we're about to hit the surface and inside of plugging my nose for impact I let out this HORRIFIED scream of terror that sounds like a dying Blue Footed Booby being humped by a raccoon, while bungee jumping and laying an egg at the same time. At the last second, and I'm telling you like 0.15 seconds to impact, I try to plug my nose. And now wouldn't you know, the damn lever around my shoulders was so thick I had too scrunch my face.



Its goes under water and all I can think is, when the hell is this going to over, I'm going to piss myself, Mommy!, good golly day I'm gonna die. Some ridiculous bibble babble along those lines, and out of the darkness comes this obnoxously large White Shark. This mother fucker comes gliding full speed ahead.



So I'm flailing my legs around as we start rising up again like, faster, faster damn you! And we break the surface, I'm gasping for air trying not to shit myself, thanking every god known to man and the fucking shark is flying! FLYING I tell you, after us! We do a loop-de-loop and it collides, big ass nose first, into the tracks, and falls back into the water, at which point I started crying. Mind you everyone one else on the ride is like; YAY!



All I wanted to know was, when the hell is this going to be over with?! It continues doing loop-de-loops and started heading up again. This time, it literally left the atmosphere and that's when the water works really poured. Oh my god, space, I sobbed. And these hippopatomus' were flying too! Zero G hippopatomus'. Circling around us singing, Its a small world after all!



At which point the tracks start shaking and trembling and the levers over our shoulders open. I screamed and clung to the suspenders, flying back towards the earth, hoping that I wouldn't pass out, as my hands started slipping. I let out one last bellow as I lost hold and fell, landing on one of the singing Hippos.



It turned and smiled at me and said, "Hi! I'm Captain Cheeseburger-tickle-grindle-brindle-fleptolopolous-debbie the fifth, let's be friends!" And I said, "Well that's all fine and dandy but can you take me back home?"

"Why?" he said, "this is a special place!"

"Becaaaaause!" I cried, "I wanna go hoooome!"



So he sailed down, down, down till we reached the ground and said, "I will be hear whenever you call! Because we have to save Fleptolopolous Castle!



And then, I woke up! Like holy shit, are you serious? Talk about a fucked up dream.

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.



The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes it is."

Boy- "I have a baseball."

Man- "That's nice."

Boy- "Want to buy it?"

Man- "No, thanks."

Boy- "My dad's outside."

Man- "OK, how much?"

Boy- "$250."



In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.



Boy- "Dark in here."

Man- "Yes, it is."

Boy- "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy- "$750."

Man- "Fine."



A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."



They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.



The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."