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So woke up around 2 am this morning to what I thought was someone shooting fireworks outside my window. Turns out they weren't fireworks, instead it was a power line that decided it wanted to break, and fall and catch the utility pole across the street on fire. We lost our electricity and our heating. It took Ameren 2 hours to restore the electricity to our house. -_-

I don't know whether to be angry, cry or do both right now! My uncle died today and nobody in the damn family called and said anything. I had to find out on Facebook of all places! Worst yet is I can't even go to the funeral due to fighting that's going on amongst family members. You know because they think they're entitled to everything. Sometimes I'm glad I don't have anything to do with those shit heads.

It's hard to believe that just 9 years ago today, when I was 19 years old, I would first experience the loss of my best friend, Alie. 16 years of age and gone too soon. Alie has been weighing so much on my mind here lately and I've never once stopped grieving for her. I have often wondered what she would be like today. Would she still be goth? Would she have colored her hair wild and crazy colors? What would her current likes or dislikes be? Would she like wine or alcohol in general? Unfortunately I will never know and it kills me deep inside knowing that I will never get the chance to know. Her life was ended too soon, When the driver of the pick up truck was speeding and didn't ever have his headlights on to see her crossing the street to get to her bus stop.



This day has forever changed me. Today has taught me to love and cherish those that you care deeply for while you can and to live life to the fullest because tomorrow is never guaranteed. They say time heals all wounds, but clearly that's a lie. I still hurt like I did 9 years ago when I got the phone call. The phone call that changed me and turned my life upside down.