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Peering out

Through the cracks in my haven of steel.

Tin foiled windows catch the winters sun

Shimmering like sain micheals holy armor.



Smothering the wiched world fro my sight

Choking out the canserous light.



Go outside, they said.

Who said?

Was it the rats inside the walls?

Or the voces in my head?



Step out side the doors of sanctuary,

Hinged between safety and destruction

Deathly pallor, piss filled sores of scarlet,

Spread like constalations against rotting flesh.



All brutally exposed now,

Naked against the pitiless sun,

Scathed by the blood thirsty stares of passer-bys’.



Strolling,

Feet against the frozen pavement

Form a rhythm, chant chant

Whisper up the words:



Go home

Go home

Go home

Go home



Obsidian trees

Silhouetted skeletons

Against the hellscape,

Winter barren claws

Ready to seize my throat



Into town now.



Whispers falling from the lips of everyone

Pervade the filthy air.

Whispers about me.

change is very difficult to deal with

impossible obstacles stand in my way

so far able to climb over and conqure

someday the challenge will be to great

i fear that its coming soon

iv broken

i dont know if ill mend again

those i held dearest

are lost to me again

pain surrounds and engulfs

not a glimmer of hope left

not sure where to go next

feel like a total waste

fienin for a place to belong

not sure how to continue the fight for life

just doesnt seem worth the effort

i have made a lot of mistakes in my day, and paid the price over and over again in one way or another.

i look back and think that it all happened for the best, but few i still wonder about, why were we put here to learn these lessons is a universal unanswered question of many, not to sure how to go about life. stumbling around in circles wondering if this is the right thing. wish for divine consolidation with no relief.

wish there was something to take the pain away just once want to see the sun rise and be happy for another day instead of thinking of the past that haunts, the pain that lurks benieth every smile. tears straining for a release at all times, sorrow for what i thought i had which was ever present in dreams. the heart felt i love yous instead of the cold stares backed with hatred. a longing to belong and a lil sliver of hope the someday the sun shall shine in baby blue eyes once again.



a rough version at best