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well as a new year has been rung in...along with that of course comes resulotions. The number one being losing wieght. Fortunate for me I am comfortable with my size. I would however like to feel a little more energized, hence I've made the choice to start doing some yoga. My problem is getting the right motovation to do so. Maybe parading around in my underware in front of the mirror might do it...as they say the mirror doesn't lie. Thing is I might just be narcissistic enough to like what I see!

I would like to say that I am content in my life in general, but like others....there would be a few things I would change if I could...and I'm not talking about the same old run of the mill stuff ie. money, looks....if I could I would have my father stay with me. Not forever, but just for a few more years. This would able him to do the things he never had the chance to. Heal my bro's addiction...and try and straighten the hell out his self victimizing wife. Ensure that my nieces and nephew never want for anything. It sounds simple enough, but I know that there is always a reason why things are the way they are in the grand scheme of things. I just wish it was my scheme to plan and see it to fruition. Aside from all that I am content...for the time being!

I had to laugh a little to myself the other day.Well my weekend started out pretty good. My good friend came over after work and we sat around doing the old bitch and stich. We decided to go shoot some pool. Things were going so good....as we bid our adieu some asshole decides to cop a feel. As if I found that to be a big turn on....instead of letting managment kick his pathetic ass to the curb....which I really should of done. I instead took it upon myself to dish out my own brand of justice. As he sat on his bar stool grinning that stupid grin...it just really infuriated me that this fucking idiot had the audacity to put his hands on me. I literally wiped the smile off his face with good right hook....as fell to the floor I then started kicking him. All of my fury was unleashed in what seemed like a split second. I would never advocate violence, I do feel ashamed of how I decide to handle the situation. I know there is no excuse for this fuck to do what he did but, all the same I still feel like crap. As we left and started down the street, one of the tavern wenches comes running out and starts yelling at us to wait....I thought, great...now what. To my complete surpise she thanks me for what I did. Here's the humour I found in it all....it made me feel like I cleared out the town bully. Because obviously nobody else stood up to this guy. I don't regard myself as a hero...by far. I am simply just a woman who, others at times think of me as a pushover...just would like to have fun without the idoits

COMMENTS

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Priss
04:44 Jan 14 2008

Don't beat yourself up over idiots like that guy...hun...he deserved to be curb stomped by you...and I shore don't think your a pushover...any more...:D

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UpirLikhyj
06:21 Apr 11 2008

While I would also not advocate violent reactions as the best way for women to respond generally to such hands-on assaults... yet when a woman has the courage to finally give as good as she gets and refuses to be a victim any longer, I must both applaud and defend her right and perhaps even obligation to do so. Very well done, indeed!

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Ok...it's been a really long time since I've been around. I was on a "chase a dream" thing...AGAIN! I've really got to stop doing that, I always end hurting someone...it's not intentional, it just turns out that way. This last chase has changed me...for the good I like to think. I look forward to the new year, but I have to look back and come to terms with all that happened....in order to go forward. I would really like to go into this year filled and renewed with hope, but I'm so torn. My father is dying of the big "C" and has only months...there goes hope out the window. i always ask myself the same question over and over, what is more easier to handle...a quick and sudden death (in his sleep) or watching his life slip away? I'm sad and heartbroken, but more of that...for my father. I look around at the most trivial things, things that we take for granted...and I think how he must treasure all that is trivial. One more question....will he lose his dignity? that must be a real hard one....to be decimated physically....to have to rely on others to feed you...to wipe your ass etc. That.... is my biggest heartache.