The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Why is it that everytime I think I might be getting a break, I get dumped off it shits ville and left for dead? What have I done that's so wrong? Or what have they done? I can't keep this up. Everytime I fix a problem, something else comes up. Should I just drop off the face of this earth? Would that make the world happy? I'm tired of the games. I'm tired of stupid bitches thinking they can walk all over me and get away with it. I'm tired of so many voices screaming orders and forcing an appearance. I don't know what I do half the time. I don't hardly remember what I did or said two minutes ago, let alone what I might have done to piss someone off two weeks ago. And no one believes me. They think I'm full of it. Why can't you people just give me some peace.

I've heard that everyone has a soulmate. And I've heard that everyone has one true love that they are destined to be with. And I also know that these two beings are not always the same person.



I believe in past lives. And in this one I've only encounter 3 beings that I've known before. My ex (may that bastard rot in hell), my best friend/adopted big brother, and my current Love.

My ex was a mistake and has been everytime I've encountered him. A mere child looking for something to control.

My best friend has always been an interest (you know what I mean), though it's never led to anything. He's been more of a guardian and protector to me each time than anything.

Then my Love. This man means everything in the world to me. If he is ever taken, there will be no other. I'd give away my life and soul to keep him safe and happy. I'd slaughter the innocent and shelter the evil and vice-versa if that's what he wanted. We've been through more lives together than this world has been through existances. I knew the day I saw him that he was my one true Love. Though it took four years and many heart aches (from the world) for us to get together. I've always Loved him and I thought he was my soul mate as well, until a couple of days ago. Now I'm not sure.



I have now met another that I have known in a past life. He is a sweet, tender hearted gentle man with just as many secrets as me. And it wasn't until yesterday that realized how we knew each other from the past. (And for those who are curios...too bad...that's between me, him, and my Love!) The more I delve into what existance of him I can find, the more i remember of how we knew each other. Though it may be just the over active mind of a skitzo writer, I can't help but wonder. Is my soul mate and my Love two seperate people? I do wish to explore this thought, though merely through the bounds of friendship, for I am already taken.



This in its entirety has come to me as odd. I've never really thought of them being seperate. I'm not sure where this will lead, and I'm really not sure I want to go. But I'd rather know than wonder forever. I just hope that other two parties involved (you know who you are~my baby and my pirate friend) understand my motives and support me in this journey.



***My Goddess bless me. For my soul needs your guidance.***

They come and go and never match. You here from your friends. What's true. What's not. It all depends. Do they make me mad? No...not at all. I know all the stories. I know every version. Can they destroy what I have. No...not even likely. Poor poor things. So mislead. Perhaps they've become lost in thier own stories. Maybe they've become lost in a diluted fantasy. That's why they think they're winning. That's why they think they'll get what they want. But like I said. They're just stories. Spinning around in the air. Stories that have become desperate attempts to steal something they cannot get. But they don't work. They don't work when I've heard them all. When I know each and every version. And I've heard them from thier sources. And my only comment is. Keep telling me the good version if that's what it takes to keep your ego from taking a hit. Later...