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I miss him. Its been almost two weeks, and yet it feels like forever. I know I only have a few days left before I can talk to him again, but time is just dragging by.....I hate that I cant talk to him while he stays with his dad. I'd be able to et through my days without him so much easier if i just got to message him or get a message from him or just to hear his voice for a few minutes each day. Cuz I really hate my new job and thinking about him is really the only thing that gets me through each day.



Friday.....seems like an eternity has gone by just waiting for it to come.



I really hate my new job, especially my new schedule. I'm hardly gonna be able to talk to him on the phone this weekend. Now that I dont get off work til 9pm, I wont get home til 10pm, and by that time its already 1am for him. Then....working on saturdays now.....dammit. Saturday is normally the day I get to chat with him the most. And now, hardly at all since I have to be at work at 9am.....Life sucks



I really need to invent a teleportation device. That way I can see him whenever I want to. I love him so much. Only eight more months.....fuck thats a long time.

My heart, it has been repaired. There will always be that small crack though, the one that cant be fixed no matter what you do with it. It is there to always remind me of what had hurt me....but I know that i have to completely forget it. I need to trust him again. Right now, since it is all so fresh, it will be hard, but with some time, all should be healed. He does know that he is in for a beating as well once I get to him. LOL



I have been so much happier since I've gotten to talk to him again. I always miss him so much and when he's away, i am just not the same. I've been smiling nonstop since I saw him signed in last night. I like feeling this way. I like being happy. It is so much more pleasant dealing with other people when I feel like this.



And I have always felt bad when I am around others, and I know that my depression is overwhelming and rubbing off on them as well. I have never meant to do this, never would I wish anything that I have gone through onto someone else.......that is why I am determined. Determined to make this work. Because this being happy all the time isnt so bad. I love him more than anything in this world and really dunno what I would do if I lost him for good.



*does the happy dance & blows a kiss goodbye*