Last night at work I borke down....I dunno what did it. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the stupid idiots that called in and tried to make a food order over the phone, or maybe it was just the job itself. whatever it was, put me in a shitty mood. when i first got there, i was fine. then after that stupid phone call and how fucking hott it was in the store and the shortage of employees (once again...it never fails) on my shift I was just.......down....depressed....i hate my job, yes, but never has it gotten to me the way it did last night.
at one point early in the night, when i was putting up the chairs in the lobby.....my eyes started to water, but i wouldnt let myself cry because I didnt want anyone to see it. later on, one of the employees working turned on the cd player and put in a mix cd......turns out it was all rap music.....i shut it off. I told them i wasnt in a good mood and that shitty music would make it worse
then, my friend/co-worker really noticed my mood....and kept asking what was wrong, i kept telling him it was nothing but eventually i just broke down....
i told him how frustrating this job is...how badly i wanted to just walk out, but couldnt because i need a new job before i quit this one.....then i started on the rest of my life....mostly my love life, or truly, lack thereof...i started crying.....it felt good to let it all out.....but i still felt embarrassed that i was revealing this deep inner part of me.
he did do me a favor though....he kept sharp objects away from me......i was feeling so depressed that i was in a suicidal mood.....which is really very very rare for me. but anyways.....im feeling better now that ive released some of my crap onto someone else.....but a lot of it still resides.....im not sure it will ever go away...
Ok....I recently discovered the Horrorpops....they are a psychobilly/rockabilly group, the singer is totally hott and i just love their songs....Here are a few of my favorites....
"Dotted With Hearts"
So I stare at the wall,
Feeling everything is wrong
I have lost my heart
To a boy who can't be mine
I have fallen in love, with no use
I don't know how I came to be on this cloud
Thinking about your touch, makes me lose my ground
I want to be in your arms again
Holding hands and never leave but...
[Chorus]
All I can do is dream about you and me in never land
But all it is, is a fantasy although it's heavenly
It's a teenage dream,
All wrapped in pink and dotted with hearts
I day dream of, what might and could come
But then the truth creeps up on me
And I begin to cry
I wish we never met, then it wasn't so sad
And I'd stop thinking about you but...
[Repeat Chorus]
[Spoken]
(I was walking down the beach honey
The moon is shining oh so bright
I'm looking at the stars
Thinking back on our very last night
Oh baby, we will forever be apart
I should have told you that we were never meant to be
I knew that from the very start
I'm sorry, I really am)
[Repeat Chorus]
"Baby Lou Tattoo"
Opening the door, Misfits playing on the stereo
I'm finally home
A tattoo doll awaiting my call
12 needle injection,
Stroked on skin with affection
The buzz of her diced tattoo machine
Makes me wanna cry for more
In for another kick, my skin gets its fix
My body takes a new form, I'm getting reborn
Yeah, I need my ink injection
Baby lou tattoo!
Full thrust on the machine, pins on to my skin
I'm getting my soul reapplied
While my skin is getting dyed
"What's Under My Bed"
It's every night, the same routine
Feels like something is creeping up on me
What's that lurking behind that door
Aarrrghh!
[Chorus:]
Monsters chasing after me
I get no sleep
I'm running but no matter what
It gets me no where
Something is under my bed
Snapping at my leg
I'm frozen
I'm not freaked out, it creeps and crawls
I can not, I can not sleep with out a light
What's that lurking behind that door
Aarrrghh!
[Chorus x3]
"Walk Like A Zombie"
you walk like a zombie
you talk like a zombie
it's not in your head
you're a living dead
whatever you're gonna do
you're gonna make me cry
and you wanna hold hands
in the cemetery
and you wanna be lost
for all eternity
and everything is dark
and kind of scary
and you crave the full moon
but i don't care
and you want a mountaintop
with a little castle
and you wanna name our kids
morticia and fester
and all the flowers you bring
are always dead
and you howl at the moon
but i don't care
six feet under
you make me wonder
you wanna be undead
so you can be hunted
but whatever you're gonna do
i'm gonna follow you
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