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Well...its official. He just wants to be friends....he wouldnt say why...only that he supposedly has a lot of things going on for him right now. I really do think he met someone else and cheated on me....but he doesnt have the nerve to tell me....doesnt want to break my heart or some shit like that.....i dont think he can break it any worse than my heart was broken before. The thing that really sucks....i saw myself marrying him one day....and he truly made me happy, happier than Ive probably ever been in my life. oh well, I will pick up the pieces and move on. Id like to go back to my ex now...but I know I shouldnt. I should just stay single for now, til I go off to school.....but i still love my ex so much and it hurt so much for me to leave him for that cheating bastard....But thats a long story that is too painful to repeat. Well...if anything else happens I will let you all know. *blows a kiss* Farewell, my pets.

I hate Valentines Day. I am 20 years old and have always been alone on feb 14th.....it sucks. its painful somtimes to watch happy couple walk by holding hands or playing kissy face.....i have a b/f.....but he lives 2 states away and its hard not being able to see each other. I called him yesterday morning leaving a voice message because he was already working...so I told him I'd call him after I got off of work, just in case he tried calling why I was working, I didnt want to miss his call. well...i called again after work and still got his voice mail....hes in the army, so maybe he was out in the field doing some kind of training....but i dont know. i have this feeling deep inside that its coming to an end and its breaking my heart. But something good did happen yesterday...my ex started to talk to me again. When we had said goodbye, he didnt want to be just friends because he said it would be too hard for him to know that i was with another guy, so he said we'd never talk again....but things have changed. Hes told me that if things dont work out between me and my b/f, he misses me and would love to be together again. I dunno whats gonna happen. I am happy with my b/f, he makes me happy. I can actually see myself marrying him one day.....but I do miss my ex....and have really been thinking a lot about him in the last few weeks......As soon as I have an update on my torn and broken love life....I will let you know. Until then, I'm gonna finish crying these tears and redo my makeup now that its smeared....*hugs*