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Is this really how it ends with just a tear and no regret? Tell me what i'm doing wrong and why i'm the one who loses the one she loves? Please tell me how to end it all because it's killing me inside all over again. This pain is so unbearable specialy when i hear that you want to be with someone that is not me... I will teach you how to make her happy... but promise you will make me happy too one day. Is this really how our night will end...is this really our end?



I just wanted you to love me i just wanted to feel as if you cared. Why must i ask for so much? I have done everything i could and gave you my all..and now i am so weak. I can't even hold my smile for more than minute, so i pretend to be as happy as i can be. How will i move on If i can't last a day without telling you that i love you. How am i able to love you so much and just be able to give up on you so easily...after i've done so much for you...

To Whom it may Concern:



I wrote this letter 2 nights ago...just wanting to apologize. eventhough that is all i tend to do yet, i still can't get through to you. I got so tired of waiting, I was so sick of pretending that you would one day be true to me and realize how fucked up things were inbetween us. Now you wait for me, so impatiently just like i waited for the longest time...How does it feel to feel unwanted, you feel like you are not good enough, right? How could we so ironicaly switch places; i am you and you are now my innocent victim. I sometimes get the joy of watching you go through what i went through...but i accually try to make you feel better. I listen and cry with you... i hold you to make you feel safe and loved and wanted...and You try to move on and i tag along and i'm sorry.

I am not the person you thought i would be, i still fuck things over so constantly. I need someone to tell me it will be okay even though i know my life is as fucked up as it used to be...just not as violent. I'm sorry for all the things i did not say and for the things i say to much...I meant every word...but i guess that wasn't enough. You became everything I could not because i was that so long ago..and it's coming back and i cannot wait to be so selfish..so emotionless... and not give a shit about anything and anyone again. I know that you try..to be everything i need... but you don't know me..and that is my fault.

I am sorry i dont meet your standards but i try to reach up to your expectations. I dont want to go through the same things again so please mean what you say and i will be as honest as you let me be. Believe me when i say that all the words that i say are true. without pitty..but that is just how i felt today. accept me for who i am, you never know when i might change... and you will miss the way i was... just like i am today.

- Ezme

Fustration building up in side while i cant consintrate on anything i do.

Why the fuck are you always on my mind? I just want to blow you right out of me!

No one listens anyway, would you even notice if i went away? Just go back to sleep. It is a challege that is not fair, you can get over this so easily and im still fucking drowned into you. I hate those nights where i can't sleep, when i am forced to spend time with my worst enemy.I know nothing. but you were once there. I now see something that just appeared. You made it clear..what to do now? I can't just disapear..so im here waiting for you to get there next to me again, the way it used to be...because i miss calling you mine and no one elses

Why the fuck are you still around? Do you really get a joy of making fun? I just want to blow myself out of here, and your mission will be complete.be careful what you wish for because it might all go wrong...and hell starts all over again. i wanted you to love me... i guess i was just being selfish.

-Ezme

Play a tune so soft and gentle.

Play a tune that will sooth me whole.

Play that tune until it weakens and nevermore will i be alone.

Play a tune that will last forever.

Play a tune so we can be together.

-Ezme

There was a memory of a better time and now im back where i started.

It looked to me like a fantasy.

Some kind of reality waiting to happen.

But as we say our long good byes, I realize there ain't nothing here for me.

It must be a sign from another world, they're coming back for more.



I sit here missing you but, not just now and then.

Nothing's better than being here with you.

Fuck the outter space i have made.

There's nothing better than listening to you wanting more than i can give.

Take my world and take my fantasies, because you deserve much better than me.

Destroy my wishes and kisses... you want more but, that's all i can give to you.

I just want to be right next to you...just like you promised.

But now your leaving once more...and it all disappears.

So Slowly.



Just one last chance i want to give.

But i'm so tired of waiting, I'm shaking.

I'm afraid of this again... what will happen to us?

I have to change I told myself and it was you that made it happen.

I dont know what it is you wanted from me..but i gave you everything i could.

I dont know what it is you needed from me..but i gave you everything, everything.



So for my last request, i ask you to tear down my world...

Fuck this outter space i have made for you...just take it all away from me.

You were my everything but you saw me as somekind of creature.

As i watch you put your head down i ask you,

"what's the matter with me do you not love me at all anymore?"



Was i not good enough for you?

Where the hell did we go wrong in this?

What the hell happened to us?

Why have we fallen apart so quickly?

Anyway, i have to go...it was nice knowing you lately.

For once we got along..but now it seems like you hate me, don't hate me.



All i gave to you was my all...and now my all is in your hands, please don't throw it away.

But i guess you deserve better than me...someone who will take you as you are.

Maybe someone will give you more patience.

Maybe they will listen more closely because i obviously can't do it the right way...

I'm sorry.



So take my wishes and my dreams.

I will pretend i dont miss you and kiss you.

I will listen to you tell me about your new love

I will smile and i pretend that everything is okay.

While My whole world and your outter space tears down with the glory of your someone else.



-Ezme





To my love.