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I dont understand him I just dont.



He does the most inapropriate things that you could ever imagin. Watch girls gone wild while I am eating in the room. Find a toy of mine and ask to use it on me. Now today he tried to kiss me.



I cant say anything because mom has a desease where she cant stress out. She will believe him over me (like always).



Im stressed

I dont know what to do.

Think about it...



I get a text from my cousin that says "Did you get a present for my mom?" I say yes and then she asks "When are you coming over?"



I didnt go over because I was spening it with my bf's family which my family knew about already. We had already discused it.



So I ended up missing christmas with my family because expect of the dinner we were suposed to have they had lunch.



Now they are dissapointed in me...and why? Because they didnt get their presents soon enough.



Not only that but my mom flat out told me she didnt liek the present I got her. Thanks mom.



Im going to jamaca next year.

Im in a rut because of christmas and yet he is willing to help me out. He wants to (even though I begged him not to) buy the rest of the presents I need to get. Is willing to put gas into my car (still Im begging him not too). And is willing to ship two presents off to my cousin and his wife.



I dont want him to do this because I feel I am dependant on him and I dont want him to think that at all. Just sometimes I am in a rut and I know it gets hard. But I have always got myself out of it.



When I ask him why are you doing this, please dont I will feel bad.



He says it because I love you!



I love you too damnit but dont hand me over money. Makes me feel I need you. And trust me thats alot of money too.



I dont want him just throwing money at me but I guess I really dont have a choice right now. I cant pay for gas what so ever because my check wont go through till monday. I cant get the rest of the gifts till monday which trust me would suck! And my cousin and his wife wont get their gifts till after christmas...another sucky.



So Im in a bind, I dont want him to help but he insists.



*Sigh* Why do I have the most caring. sweetest, loving boyfriend ever. Kinda makes me wanna barf but I love him too....

If he needed this help and I could I would help him too.



*Sigh*

I never thought I would be so happy to a mosquito in my life! But when I refreshed my status and I saw it changed I about jumpped for joy!! Im so happy that I dont know what to do. Just wait till I complete even more lol. I think I will have a heart attack if I leveled again.



You dont understand when I played champions of norath all I played for was to level and get new and cool aurmor. Now if this site had that too I think I would piss myself.



Okay maybe not...



But it would be awesome beyound beliefe.



Now Im sorry for my spelling because I suck at it. I mean I really do suck and I dont really care to change it. Call it lazy or stupidity I dont care but I wont change it.



The other day I talked to my friend Enoma and we were over a IM. I kept saying wrd (werd) to almost everything he said and he yelled at me to stop. What did I do



WRD WRD WRD WRD WRD WRD WRD



lmao, he thought I was a dork for doing that...



Okay enough rambeling...IM A MOSQUITO!!!

celebrate!!!

Why are people so damn negative? No matter where you go you find someone that just likes to piss on everything you say or believe in. Like those comercials where people see other people do good deeds so they do one too yeah, it happens both ways except negativity is more contagious then possitivity.



People get pissed off at the smallest things and it is just slightly annoying. Even when they know they are in the wrong they still continue to piss on you.



Like take the other day for instance:



I was working, doing my little work thing and this old man asked me if they are real. *Cough* wait...um what *Cough*? So being it hit a soft subject I coldly said "Yes". I couldnt believe my ears but it gets better. He then goes on talking about how nice they were and that him and I should get together.



Gross, this guy is probably older then my Grandpa. My God what has the world come too.



So I tell my boss because at this time Im just appauled. He then talks to the old man who ADMITS to everything. Well consequently he is told to leave the premisis and well when he heard that the shit hit the fan and he starts to piss on everyone in the damn bar.



Now I am in a weird mood. Im not pissed off but more like depressed because I hate that kind of attention. And its not like I work at Hooters for christ sake I work in a sports bar and I cover EVERYTHING.



Now take today for another example:



I was watching the "Kitty kills TP" video and even though Im not kitty person I thought it was cute and just down right adorable. I mean I know your short a roll of TP but the moment was priceless.



Then I started to read on to the comments and people kept saying "I would get a gun and shoot the cat not shoot a video." Stuff like that. Just some words that were a little over the top and well why would you kill a cat for a 4 dollar roll of TP?



This is why I think people should go through extensive testing and interviews before they are aloud to buy a animal. Some people are just NOT meant to have a little furry friend. And YES I also think people should have to go through the testing to have children...



You either agree with me or disagree so no negativity please...



Another good example is:



Driving is the SOURCE of hell it self. Everyone pisses of everyone else in someway even when we dont know it. Its a horrible chain reaction that seems to never end. We usually start our day in a good or bad mood and how many people will agree with me when I say if you wake up in a bad mood you usually say "This is going to be a horrible day". After that all it takes is one lousy person to cut you off or honk their horn for you to yell back as if they can hear you or try your hardest to cut them off even better then what they did to you.



Guy cuts you off, you flick/and or cut him off.

In the mean time cutting someone else off that you did not see.

So they get mad and flick you off which the guy next to them thinks it was directed towards them....



Get my drift?



Negitivity comes in every form through out the day and unfortunantly sometimes it starts before you even wake up to the alarm clock. People piss on other people and those people return the favor by pissing on more people.



The point in this is I realise that we are surrounded with negative situations and people but STOP PISSING ON US. Think of happy thoughts as tinker bell would have said. Its not the end of the world so get over it and live your life the way it should be.



Who cares if someone gets you a rude ass comment. Its not the end of the world and if you died the next minute that would be horrible. Do you want that to be your last memory of life?



Who cares if you didnt like a video someone else put up. Did you really feel that much better that you had to ruin another persons day?



Who cares if someone cut you off just go along with your day in a possitive manner because who knows, in the act of "getting him back" you may have wreaked your car and matters would have been way worse.



You cant avoid negativity but you can sure stop it when it reaches you. If you feed it then it will just be a horrible chain reaction and just ask yourself one question...



Do you want to remember your life with a bunch of negitivity or do you want to remember a long, happy, opptomistic life?



Thats what I thought....SO STOP PISSING OF PEOPLE...



:-)



:::End Rant Here::::

I have realized that it is easy to point out the negative in everything we do or everything we see others do. Some how negative feelings builds a solid ground for us so we can either feel better for ourselves or feel pity for ourselves. I don't understand why we do the things we do our why we think the things we think but I do know one thing..



Negative thinking is an easy way out for us. Face it, positive thinking takes so much more effort for us to achieve.



You don't know how other peoples days start out but your own. We all make mistakes like forgetting to put your turn signal on to change lanes. Maybe thats because we didn't get enough sleep the night before. Or maybe its because our morning routine was scurd because our shower took a little longer the expected. We are creatures of habit so anything could force your day to be a little off.



Because our day maybe a little off in the beginning that usually means other things will be off as well. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed if you will. One thing just doesn't go right then we subconsciously think something else will go wrong.



Have you ever woken up one morning thinking that it is going to be a wonderful day then you end up slamming your toe on the corner of the wall? From that moment (even if you just brush it off) you subconsciously think "Man today is going to be a bad day." That is our negative thinking tunning in...



You go about your morning as usual but because of the toe stubbing you tend to move a little slower. Not because it hurts but because it throws off your routine. You then miss breakfast and maybe even your morning vitamins. Now your dragging and you don't feel very good mentally. Your morning is just, well, off.



Now your on your way to work and someone cuts you off. You get upset and you slam on your horn and then you receive the all so friendly finger wave. Now your fuming, and now sense that happened you might as well cut others off too. A long chain reaction to a lot of negative feelings.



Nothing that day will go right and its not because of karma or waking up on the wrong side of the bed but its because you don't have the energy or the want to think positive about something. And sadly it doesn't take much to turn the feelings around. But being we are set in this mindset of negativity we overlook the outlet to a good day.



All it takes is for you to pop in your favorite CD before you leave your house. Listen to it while you drive to work. Make a short trip to star bucks and get your favorite latte and just tell your boss you hit traffic. Its worth missing a few minutes of work just so you could have a positive productive day. Going in a bad mood might have a horrible chain reaction. Think about it...



Your in a bad mood and lets say your boss is in one too. He could point out everything you are doing wrong because well your not on top of your game today. Your frustrated and you cant understand why he wont point out any good you do. Soon you may get into an argument with someone who has your job in the palm of your hands and you may just end up getting suspended or worse, fired.



I know that is to the extreme but it is possible. Negative feelings are contagious as so is positive feelings. But for some reason we are to soft hearted so anything bad that happens effects our everyday lives.



So when you stub your toe or you get cut off going to work just brush it off your shoulder and smile. Why? Because you have a long day ahead of you. You may miss out on some really great things like a compliment from your boss, a promotion, or a raise. He may notice that you are always a cheerful person and for that he would love for you to stick around.



What I am trying to say is just stop thinking negative and start looking at the positive in everything. If you stub your toe just rub it, make it feel better and go about your day like usual. Just remember next time to wear your slippers and that wont happen again. If someone cuts you off and gives you a friendly wave then just think to yourself that they might have stubbed their toe too but instead of letting it go they are going to let it control the rest of their day. Let them go, let their actions go...



One thing I learned is you are in control of your emotions, no one else. You have the power to turn your life around, no one else. Only you are in control of you so why are you going to let the smalls things come in your way of a good day?



You never know if today will be your last. So why not live it like it is your last?

I just dont understand why no matter how many pills I take my moodiness doesnt go away. My doctor sais take one pill first and see how you do. If that doesnt work then take two. So I did this morning and well I dont think anything has changed but Im more dazed now then anything. Ugh, I just need sleep. That sounds pretty nice to me.